vagabondme Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 So I like this guy at my work. I heard he has a girlfriend, but i’m not really sure and don’t want to ask anyone. I don’t want anyone knowing my business at work. Early on, he asked me about my interests, then would ask me what I did on my weekends, and days off. Then more recently, I noticed that he stands really close to me when we talk. And he is smiley, and I smile back, and he is way taller than me, and I don’t know, it just seems weird how close we stand when talking. Last week I made a sarcastic joke at him, and I think he was taken back, and caught off guard, he sort of grip touched my shoulder and said “Ohhh, think you’re a comedian ,huh?”, to which I replied with more banter. We both went back and forth, and I played innocent and he told me I could dish it but not take it. Then yesterday I was wearing a cute outfit, to which he remarked he liked. And it was weird. But I kind of get super nervous and feel like i’m giving too much banter, and I need to back off, so after our once a day conversations, I kind of completely ignore him, and he seems to ignore me too. Then today I walked into work, and saw him and completely ignored him and didn’t say hi on purpose. I don’t know why...I was just shy. Then later I saw him walking, and saw him sort of look at me, almost in a way like...are we going to say hi, and I just smiled and said hi because I was with a customer, and he smiled a warm smile and said hi too. Then once we both had down time and were free, he walked over and we started talking about topics, and joking back and forth. And then I made a joke about his phone, and he called me a punk and lightly poked my shoulder. To which I played innocent and asked what that was for. Once again, he was super close, as was I, and we were both smiley, to the point where another coworker came by, and said “sorry to interrupt you guys..” when they needed me to help them with something. I guess my question to the guys is... does he just think of me as another dude? like a girl he can poke and banter with? because I dont see him talk like that to any other girls, and we stand super close for not even knowing each other, and we are very smiley with each other. And I guess if he has a girlfriend, maybe he thinks of me in a sister way... I don’t know, opinions please? Link to comment
capilot Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Seconded. Next time you're headed out for lunch or coffee, even if it's with other friends, invite him along. If he's interested, he'll jump at it. Link to comment
vagabondme Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 I'm not trying to play games. I guess I was picking on him to try and flirt, but now i'm wondering if i've gone too far, and he sees me in friend zone. I'm not trying to play games, i'm just shy and the worst apparently at flirting. Link to comment
paradisa Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 All of this 'picking on him' & 'flirting' & fun is happening while you are at work. You could easily have an absolute disaster on your hands before you even realize it. Link to comment
vagabondme Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 lol ok nevermind Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 It sounds to me like he's having fun flirting with you, but IF he has a girlfriend, then what he's doing is wrong as he's disrespecting his girlfriend and relationship (if he has one). Maybe best to find out if he's already in a relationship or not, and if he is, then back-off and stop the flirting. Link to comment
agatha Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 you want to know if he's got a gf without asking around? next time he compliments you (on your hair/outfit/whatever), say something by the lines of 'ooooh, thank you #bigsmile but doesn't your girlfriend get jealous when you go around complimenting other girls? o.O" he'll either say "what gf?" or "nah, she trusts me/something of the sort" and there, without asking it directly to anyone, you got your answer. Link to comment
happpybear Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 didn’t say hi on purpose. I don’t know why...I was just shy. no you were not just shy, this is game playing. If he is just being freindly to you, he will wonder why the sudden change in your behaviour and that is why he hesitated to say hi later, he was probably wondering what he did to upset you that you ignore him. Childish!!! stop the flirting, just be coworkerly, so say hi, chat about life and the weather. when he tries to flirt, just brush it off if it makes you uncomfortable, he will kikely pick up on it and stop eventually, r be straight up and say "hey sometimes i think our convo's get a bit inappropriate". this is your coworker who likely has a gf Link to comment
JA0371 Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Honestly I would just say in a playful tone of voice..'soooo what's the deal with you? You live nearby? You have a gf? Bf? Or what? ' lol....or ask him what he does for a 'date night' in your area. It's not really that hard.. Link to comment
MasterPo Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 All of this 'picking on him' & 'flirting' & fun is happening while you are at work. You could easily have an absolute disaster on your hands before you even realize it. It sounds to me like he's having fun flirting with you, but IF he has a girlfriend, then what he's doing is wrong as he's disrespecting his girlfriend and relationship (if he has one). Maybe best to find out if he's already in a relationship or not, and if he is, then back-off and stop the flirting. This and this.. says it all. Read it a few times. Not to sound regimental but do take a journey into ENA back stories read about the issues/drama that come about dating co-workers. Not saying they are all disaster-proned but enough of them are. Good luck. Link to comment
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