unanimous123 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Hi people, I need your help on this one...please,please shed some light as I am one lost soul. Ok, I was exaggerating. Seriously, after a really huge fight where the relationship ended and would have stayed ended if not for the chance she gave me... how soon is it normal to have makeup sex? Girlfriend and I live together and been in a relationship for more than a year now. Thing is, we had always bickered about the same things over and over again, and sometimes, I can be a really jealous boyfriend. Because of this, we broke up or had a break for about four days before she caved in. She gave me another chance less on Saturday... I tried to make love to her last night and she said that I should not pressure her because the breakup was still fresh, and the more I pressure her, the more she would lose interest in sex. She said she is really having a hard time because still feels some hatred for me than love and not to expect me to get things back to normal, at least not right away. We both still act the same way (as a couple) the entire time, well, except the sex part. I understand her and so far, have been really patient and consistent with my actions that I have learned my lesson so I will not be jealous or put up a fight with her over inconsequential things, and I let her know that. I do realize,however, that I need to show her that,instead of saying the same things. My mistake was I had said the same things before but didn't really follow through, so it's mostly my fault. So, I guess my question is, is this normal? I just need to hear it. Sex is really important for me, but I'm willing to wait for her. How soon do you usually have makeup sex after hitting a rough patch/break/break up? Link to comment
Xylitol Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 its bizar that you focus on the sex , no? The focus should be on what caused this gigantic mess to begin with , namely your jealousy, and lack of control feelings over others. Imagine you are in a bus, but you dont trust the busdriver and while driving you grab the steering wheel of the bus driver, and both of you crash horribly. If you would have just sit it out and trusted the busdriver you would have arrived safely. In other words you need to understand that at some times you just have to let go, and leave others to do things. I find your signature strange, before you assume learn. Well then, before you assume that your gf is cheating or something like that, learn the facts. There is nothing to be jealous of in this world, for everything you want in life, you need to achieve with your own hands. No one can live your life for you, and you cannot live other people s lives, so make a distinct borderline between yourself and others, learn where you control ends and learn to let go. Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 Thanks for the input,man. I know I contributed a lot to the downward spiral of this relationship... but I realize that and I am making a change now. I know that you don't really know how much you love a person until you are on the verge of losing her...this is what I am experiencing now. Thankfully, she gave me another chance... It's not always about sex for me, I just find her behavior strange. She normally would give in to me in the past even after a fight..this time though,it's different. I think I just need to give her time to process her feelings and for her anger to dissolve, yes? RE the sig, yes, that's what I meant, before I assume, I should learn the truth first. Link to comment
delicous Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Omg, im sorry I hate this because I bet sooooooo many guys and girls think this...I know I did, I now don't give a fly about it because it is not what makes the relationship better... communication and being together outside of the bedroom is what makes it stronger, had I realized that instead of letting this ex of mine walk all over me and being blinded by the amazing sex, We may have gone the distance or maybe not because he was a cheating fool~ My advise to you is to be apart for longer, if sex is the only thing you think about, it is a pre-mature reconcilliation and usually ends , days to weeks later! Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 Okay. I think I have to consider what she told me a while back that I may have only been in it for sex, so perhaps, she is testing me? I hate it when this happens...but I guess I have to understand that. Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 It's my understanding that you don't have makeup sex after a breakup. You have makeup sex while the relationship is still happening, after a fight or other disagreement. Once you break up, it's my understanding that you're not going to have sex anymore, although people do it all the time anyway (from what I understand as I have zero relationship experience, you see). Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 6, 2012 Author Share Posted October 6, 2012 It's my understanding that you don't have makeup sex after a breakup. You have makeup sex while the relationship is still happening, after a fight or other disagreement. Once you break up, it's my understanding that you're not going to have sex anymore, although people do it all the time anyway (from what I understand as I have zero relationship experience, you see). Sorry, I should have made it clear.We're already back together...after a huge fight. Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Sounds to me like you should break up for good. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 It could be that you're pushing her away by focusing on makeup sex, rather than addressing the real issues. Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 7, 2012 Author Share Posted October 7, 2012 It could be that you're pushing her away by focusing on makeup sex, rather than addressing the real issues. I think so too...i won't give up though, I am showing her every day that I am changing and that I have really learned my lesson. It's just too damn hard with her withholding sex like that. I just need to be really patient and understanding, this is what she needs now. Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. You should consider just moving on. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 You have sex when she decides you should. Our experiences are all different. Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 It could be that you're pushing her away by focusing on makeup sex, rather than addressing the real issues. You're right. We had a heart-to-heart last night and she said it's because she feels there are still too many issues revolving and I need to show her that I am serious in addressing it. We still make future plans though and I am trying so effin hard to keep up. I'm improving but I still have a long way to go,so it seems; our relationship seems deeper and we confine each other's fears, talk, laugh, tease and still spend a lot of time together, like always. She also mentioned that I was the one asking for chance so I better be patient. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 I'm happy to hear that. All the best! Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 It could be that you're pushing her away by focusing on makeup sex, rather than addressing the real issues. I'm happy to hear that. All the best! Thanks! Why are girls such emotional creatures? I personally feel an instant connection when there's makeup sex. I apologize if I sound like a spoiled brat. lol...She also told me this, that I'm a spoiled brat and I always seem to get what I want per request. She's punishing me Link to comment
Roxie84 Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 My suggestion: buy a bottle of jergens and take care of business on your own until your relationsip is fixed. You are back together, which is great, but obviously there are still things to work on if your physical relationship isn't returning to normal. It's not a matter of waiting a certain period of time. It's a matter of fixing the problems. Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Share Posted October 8, 2012 My suggestion: buy a bottle of jergens and take care of business on your own until your relationsip is fixed. You are back together, which is great, but obviously there are still things to work on if your physical relationship isn't returning to normal. It's not a matter of waiting a certain period of time. It's a matter of fixing the problems. Thanks...Alright,We're really trying hard to fix the problems. Still....do women really have to do that? why? Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Well, you obviously don't want my advice. I agree with the bottle of Jergens. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 Thanks! Why are girls such emotional creatures? I personally feel an instant connection when there's makeup sex. I apologize if I sound like a spoiled brat. lol...She also told me this, that I'm a spoiled brat and I always seem to get what I want per request. She's punishing me A lot of women would feel turned off by that - that you have a shallow range of emotions and are selfish. Women want men, not spoiled brats. Link to comment
cadmiumblue Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 A lot of women would feel turned off by that - that you have a shallow range of emotions and are selfish. Women want men, not spoiled brats. This is true. Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 Well, you obviously don't want my advice. I agree with the bottle of Jergens. LOL...Thing is, I know her and I can see that she is also trying to do her part in the relationship(aside from the obvious), which I'm really grateful for; hence, we're not ending it. Thanks. She told me she was just really pissed and can only make love to me when she sees there is a real change. Link to comment
unanimous123 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Share Posted October 9, 2012 This is true. A lot of women would feel turned off by that - that you have a shallow range of emotions and are selfish. Women want men, not spoiled brats. Thank you and yes I can see that now, I think. I am trying to be at my best behavior and keep at it. Link to comment
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