The top 3 things that can make you stay despite worse conditions

[unanimous123]

A romantic relationship has its up and downs, but recently, I realized that there are things that can make you stay despite the drama normally expected in a relationship. Granted of course, that cheating (or any other dealbreaker) or any other form of infidelity is not there, what are the top three things that can make you stay in a relationship and fight for it? Mine is 1.) Great sex 2.) Ability to laugh together in all circumstances 3.) Understanding one's partner and knowing that you are being understood as well

 

That's just me. I suppose number 1 would be children for many people, but we don't have a kid yet soo...

[craigslist]

Your 'values' for remaining in a relationship is it in that precise order? haha, so if I could interpret it could be emotional and physical commitment, flair and then mutual understanding?

 

I have always valued integrity, so no matter what this will come first for me, if that fails then I'm out. Second for me would be inspiration, she needs to challenge me emotionally and on an intelligent level and never settle for mediocrity. Third would be physical and emotional connection, thus attraction, and naturally the effort to maintain attraction from both parties.

 

I do not think that children really plays a detrimental role in individuals staying together, and if it does please do educate me because most divorced people I spoke with told me that the kids' best intentions were always considered, but that in an unhappy family they are ultimately worse off.

[unanimous123]

Your 'values' for remaining in a relationship is it in that precise order? haha, so if I could interpret it could be emotional and physical commitment, flair and then mutual understanding?

 

I have always valued integrity, so no matter what this will come first for me, if that fails then I'm out. Second for me would be inspiration, she needs to challenge me emotionally and on an intelligent level and never settle for mediocrity. Third would be physical and emotional connection, thus attraction, and naturally the effort to maintain attraction from both parties.

 

I do not think that children really plays a detrimental role in individuals staying together, and if it does please do educate me because most divorced people I spoke with told me that the kids' best intentions were always considered, but that in an unhappy family they are ultimately worse off.

 

Nice! Well, some people I know stay in the relationship because of their kids. some would even say that if it had not been for their young ones, they would have long been gone already. Sad but true.

hahaha not necessarily in that order but now that I had taken a look at my list again, then yeah, i guess it's pretty much in that order. lol.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Many people remain in bad relationships simply to have a regular sex partner..they would rather be miserable in everything else as long as the small proportion of the week that is taken up by sex in comparison to general day to day stuff, is fabulous. After a while, however, sex with someone you can't get along with becomes old news and the relationship eventually splits or the two people stay together going about their own lives and only coming together when they are horny.

 

Other people remain in bad relationships because their motto is "a bad relationship is better than no relationship". They don't want to have to start over trying to find someone new or being alone, so they stick with what they have no matter how miserable.

[Minx2012]

For me :

 

1. Fear that I will never find anyone else BETTER than my current boyfriend. In my eyes, he is that perfect and he makes me so happy that it's hard to imagine myself with another man.

 

2. Fantastic history : Both ups and downs, the challenges, the hurdles, the solutions, the revelations and all that jazz that goes with the making of a couple always makes me hesitant to end things UNLESS the whole relationship is really bad and we are no longer growing / developing into better human beings.

 

3. Sex..hahaha!

[lil_duck]

For me:

 

1. Someone who is not selfish but very caring. I've had too many experiences with selfish guys that now as soon as one displays such characteristic, I'm out the door. And I'm not just talking about being selfish towards me but others who have an importance in his life too.

 

2. Someone who lets me be myself and accepts me for it and actually appreciates me for it that I don't have to worry about what I'm wearing or doing or how I am doing in my life. I've had guys who told me to go get a better job, guys who have asked me to lose weight and trying to change me and when I wouldn't, they are not interested.

 

3. Someone who makes me feel the happiest person alive that even when I have had a hard day at work or things are going terribly wrong, I know I can turn to them and just looking at them makes me realise that those problems are completely irrelevant as I have them and that's what counts.

[Nick7lno]

Love, fear and foolishness

[JeckyllNHyde]

1. Hope that it will get better.

2. Fear of not meeting someone better.

3. Overall them having a good character (honesty, kindness, likeable, etc).

 

I would say "great sex" as well, but I'm hoping that it's not as hard to meet someone to have great sex with.. Not sure.

 

There comes a time where I would leave though. When I realize or am made blatantly aware that it really won't get better that they are, is that time.

[Silverbirch]

There would be lots of things, off the top of my head:

 

1. We are friends first - something he often says to me

2. We have some shared passions, want a lot of the same things and definitely the same lifestyle, some important shared life experiences - compatability

3. Shared affection and sexual chemistry - important but probably a bonus - not the first or only reason

[Sportster2005]

Nothing can make me stay when I've decided to move on. The qualities and values I hold dear are always available elsewhere.