how do i respond to this?

[ChellyV]

Person I dated and have ceased contact for over a week suddenly emails today....

 

I am not trying to make you unhappy, but I might not be the kind of man that you truly need, I am not a bad person and I still care about you. I hope you're OK.

 

 

I don't know how to respond. I tried to call but no answer. Tried to text but no answer. Why do clarifying matters take such huge sweat?

[Keyman]

Continue with NC and just write it off as a no go. If he contacts again, ignore it.

[HeartGoesOn]

It sounds like he's toying with your emotions, along with playing a cruel game. I would write him off.

[bw92116]

Can you block his emails? Put his email address on the "Ignore list" or whatever?

[ChellyV]

Can you block his emails? Put his email address on the "Ignore list" or whatever?

I can do that. It wasnt a bitter separation, just grew apart. I do miss him but have quietly dealt with my grieving. I didnt want to complicate a "friendly" ending so why this? Truth be told, my gut tells me theres someone new. This wasnt necessary really, unless wanting to move forward.

Just ignore?

[Steve55]

Only you can decide if you want to stay NC or contact him. It's hard to say what his motivation was with that message without knowing more about him, your relationship and what what caused the breakup. I know you said you grew apart, but the issue is, was that his words, yours or both?

 

To me, it sounds like he might be hoping to see if you're willing to give it another try. He also could be feeling guilt, especially if he had initiated the breakup. Again, only you can decide what this is.

[bw92116]

If you have not completely healed, to the point where you feel nothing about him, then I would ignore it and maintain strict no contact until the point where you feel nothing. Keeping the contact going while you are still in the healing phase will delay your healing.

[ChellyV]

Only you can decide if you want to stay NC or contact him. It's hard to say what his motivation was with that message without knowing more about him, your relationship and what what caused the breakup. I know you said you grew apart, but the issue is, was that his words, yours or both?

 

To me, it sounds like he might be hoping to see if you're willing to give it another try. He also could be feeling guilt, especially if he had initiated the breakup. Again, only you can decide what this is.

 

I moved to another city for work, says he will follow as soon as i get settled. Since it was a new relationship, i kind of allowed room in case he changes his mind aka take things one day at a time. Perhaps i was clingy due to difficulty in coping with new stressful job, trying to make new friends, the works. I dont know, nothing so serious as to him pulling a disappearing act. Nothing for a week or so. I attempted to call twice during that time then gave him the peace he needed.

 

It sounds more like a finality saying : i am not the man for you but i thought i am reading it wrong thats why im back here in ENA. I do want to talk to him. But i am just full of my own career decision making to do that it feels like this is a really bad time to leave me like this.

[Steve55]

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Moving to a new city and a new job is always stressful. My son just did that too, moving to the Midwest.

 

You didn't mention him doing a disappearing act in your earlier posts. That's a significant fact. Why do you think he did that? Maybe he re-thought the idea of moving to the new town with you?

 

It doesn't sound like you were clingy to me...You were going through a stressful situation, a major life change really, and you looked to someone you cared about for support. Instead of providing that, he initially split, which isn't a good thing. Maybe he's reconsidered that, which is why the message, maybe not. Maybe it's his way of feeling less guilty for abandoning you in a time of need. Hard to say why he did that. You'd be the best judge and only you can decide the next step.

 

Stay strong and let us know how you're doing.

[ChellyV]

i tried to make contact again last night but was unsuccessful. i have been in this love game long enough to know that if a man is into you, he will find a way.

so i guess this is all there is to it.

 

thank you guys for your input. it will be a painful day but i will be alright.

[Steve55]

i tried to make contact again last night but was unsuccessful. i have been in this love game long enough to know that if a man is into you, he will find a way.

so i guess this is all there is to it.

 

thank you guys for your input. it will be a painful day but i will be alright.

 

So sorry to hear that. You're absolutely right, if a guy wants to contact you, he will find a way. I've found that rule also applies to women too. If a GF was not getting back to me, it was always a bad sign.

 

Hang in there and know that this will get better with time. Maybe you'll meet someone great in your new town.