Why do some people need to be in a relationship?

[agiledid]

Bit of a strange subject but it popped up today between some friends and got me thinking. Why do some people need to be with someone?

My ex is a good example, before me she had a couple of boyfriends. I came along and became her "first love" yet she eventually left me haha and a month later was with another guy.

Few girls from my work are the exact same, always in need of another guy once they become single, be it they leave them or they get left. Counted so far a girl I work with has had 5 boyfriends this year, to me thats insane!

 

Me on the other hand its different as im sure some of you reading this may be similar or have your own feelings and thoughts id love to know

I dont go and pursue or feel the need to be with someone, I dont go out twice a week chasing after women, like some guys ino personally.

Im quite happy with being around friends, my work, my family and pursuing my personal goals in life. I suppose you could say relationships arent high on my list awell.

But if the right women comes along then its different I will then start to pursue them.

 

Girls I work with say im an attractive guy and wish guys they knew were more like me! Again I think my mental state is different as I dont see myself as what they see, as I always feel the need to improve myself, as well I supposedly have high standards in what I like in women.

It just interests me how people think and feel, myself so far I can make it just seems relationships arent that of a priority in life, I would like a relationship and I enjoy sex but they just arent what I need to live or be happy really. With my ex I feel she needs a relationship to feel close to someone, having no dad and only family being her mother who she hardly talks to, must help a feeling of loneliness? That she has got someone to be with. Girls from my work is probably lust or just not having much of life goals. Many live a simple life of work,sleep,work,sleep, and go out on weekends spending there weeks wages. A mentality I find unattractive haha.

 

As you can guess yes Im single still and have been the last 2 years haha, I will say there are moments of loneliness on those quiet miserable days when all you seem to see are couples but it seems to fade by the next day.

 

But please leave your thoughts, how you feel about relationships.

[iamkaylee]

Complicated question to answer. Some people are comfortable with themselves and find their own validation with that. Others are not so secure and comfortable and need outside validation. Easy answer without getting too deep into it.

 

Me, I'm like you. I'm good without it or with it. It's not something I need, but nice to have if I want it.

[ballerina22]

Some people need relationships to validate their worthiness.

I prefer being in relationships but not so much that I'll get into one with any guy who comes along. I've only had one long term relationship. I really do miss it (as it's been two years) and I would love to fall in love again but I take relationships seriously and the thought of getting into a relationship with someone who I don't love is disgusting. Think about it.. you don't really love that person and you're kissing them, hugging them and most likely having sex. I find people who can actually do that a little sketchy.

[RedDress]

I'm like you as well. I just got out of a relationship recently - and honestly? I couldn't jump back in if I tried! I need time to heal, reflect, re-centre before I could even consider another relationship.

 

I have two friends who are the opposite, though, and I think their rationale is different.

 

One - as others have said - is very insecure. I think the thought of being alone makes her panic and feel "worthless". She WILL glob on to just about anyone after a relationship (if she was dumped)... and if it's not a good one... she's out actively seeking another. She was married once too. She literally moved out of her husband's house and into her boyfriend's apartment.

 

I have another friend, though, and really? She's just a little bit.... umm... flakey? Creative? She's in love with life and I genuinely think she does fall in love with people easily. She sees the best in everyone. She's really a lovely lady and not insecure in the least. I have seen her single from time to time - and I do think she's discerning - but her singleness doesn't last long. She's just very attractive and sweet... and I think a lot of people really, genuinely like her (it's hard not to). She's a bit of a "pure" soul.

 

Different strokes for different folks. I try not to judge. But... your approach is good too. It's also my approach.

[agiledid]

Nice to see peoples thoughts, true its a odd and complicated question, I think aswell like you all mentioned sometimes people see their selfworth is small unless thery're with someone. 'Its only valueable if someone has it, the more attractive the owner the better it must be clearly?' its a strange way haha

[Ms Darcy]

Often when I see a question like "why do people need to be in relationships all the time" soon thereafter there is a comment like "my ex ..."

 

I think the question itself is telling and suggests to me that you could do some inner work to heal from the relationship that was lost.

[Seraphim]

Some people just enjoy being with other people. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with it unless they are going from one relationship one day to one a week later. I LOVE being with people. It is not because I do not like or enjoy my own company I just am much happier with others. I love to talk and enjoy socializing. You can only talk to yourself for so long before you are bored to tears or others think you are crazy.