Do you think, logically and practically, a person should hate the one their s/o

[scared and alone]

cheated with? If that other person KNEW what was going on? I am in NO way saying it is right, because I would hate their guts too, but, the one in the relationship CHOSE to have that affair, wasn't forced. They were the one with the power to not allow it to happen. Again, I am NOT justifying.

[Capricorn3]

If my husband cheated on me you can be sure my anger would be focused on him, but I certainly wouldn't be too impressed by her behaviour either, as BOTH were in on it together. But for myself, my husband would be the one where my feelings would be focused on, whatever they may be at the time, and I would end it too.

[Hoagy]

If the other person knows that they're having an affair with someone who is spoken for, they are equally culpable and must share the responsibility. They can't be allowed to escape the consequences.

[Dixi]

Depends on the scenario, I would always blame the person in the relationship that cheated first and foremost, if the other person was a friend then yes they would receive my anger too as they have also betrayed my trust.

[pinkelephant]

Logically? No. But will I? Most probably. lol

[Cheetarah]

When I was in that position, I hardly thought of her(she was the one who told me about it). She told me she was so sorry and hoped we could eventually be friends, I asked her if she was insane...But aside from that, 95% of my energies and upset were directed towards him. No, I wasn't impressed with her, but she meant nothing to me, and I cut her out of my life. My boyfriend was a different story. He WAS important to me - Though he certainly was cut off in the same manner.

[hers]

The girl my husband cheated with knew about our relationship, and she's married too. So yes I hate her bc she's a terrible person for that. At the same time, my husband's character is seriously flawed bc he cheated with someone who was in a relationship also. Do I hate him? No bc he's my husband and we are trying to work through it but he's not the same amazing guy I always saw him as before. He's a flawed character now.

[Fudgie]

I think I would definitely have a lot of anger toward BOTH if the woman knew about our relationship. But then again, I wouldn't be having contact with her so the blunt of my anger would be focused on my significant other. That's where I would have the most power (yell at him, make him feel bad, leave him, etc). You can't do very much about the other woman, so you have to deal with the man and do with him what you will.

[Natasha24]

It takes two people to cheat.

 

I talked to the girl my fiance cheated on me with. She wasn't particularly apologetic, but she said "I understand if you hate me". What's the point, though? She knows what she did, she knows she is scum. There's no point wasting my time hating her. If she is dumb enough to stay with a guy who cheats on his fiance of 7 years a month before his wedding/abandons his pets/leaves his fiance with his $10k debt, then she can go right ahead, haha. She's hurting herself more than my hate could ever hurt her, she'll see it eventually when he cheats on her.

 

 

(Unless the "other person" is unaware that they are helping someone cheat. If that's the case, they are as much of a victim as I am)

[lalalollipops]

You know how they say the opposite of love is not hate but indifference? To hate somebody, I'd have to care about them, I'd have to give a sh-.

So no, I wouldn't really hate the other woman. There might be temporary moments of anger, but MY boyfriend is the one supposedly committed to me, MY boyfriend is the one that breaking my trust and going behind my back. Other people that are in the equation don't matter at all.

I know some people in their moments of pain will push the hurt and anger to the other woman, but I think that's not the right thing to do; your boyfriend/husbund was the one that was supposed to be loyal and respectful, not just random.

[lalalollipops]

*not some random.

[Firesiren]

I was angry with them both. She was my friend he was my husband I can say I hate them both a lot.

[secondchance67]

As a famous rapper once said: " Don't hate the player, hate the game"

 

I think both are equally culpable....regardless of who initiated it - they both committed the act together, so they can share in the blame, 50/50.

 

I believe , like all of us do, that cheating is an ACT, not a MISTAKE.

 

Cheating is vile and it shows the thin veil of moral fiber and character a person has; their need for validation and constant ego stroke, their insecurities shine thru and from what I have read, heard about and witnessed (sadly) first hand in my own R/S...it is rarely a "one and done" type thing.

[Zero71]

I would be my angry at my girlfriend or wife than I would of the other man. I might be slightly angry at the dude but he was oblivious I wouldn't hold it against him too much. We just wouldn't be friends. Now if the other man knows she is with someone else and still wanted to get in her pants then I would blame both. As far as I'm concern, he would deserve what he gets just like the woman who would betray me.

[pl3asehelp]

Of course - I hate all cheaters, even the ones I've never met and have nothing to do with me. Same for murders, rapists, etc.