Was I raped? And was I "asking for it"?

[Donovan79]

It's not quite either, it's both at once. When the relationship is good, the sex is good, and when the sex is good, the relationship is good. They're a directly correlated positive feedback system.

 

You say tomahto.

[becomingkate]

If it had been me, and a sexual partner held me down and forced himself inside me while I screamed and cried, I would consider this sexual assault.

It wouldn't matter what everyone elses opinion was.

I wonder how many other women he's abused since then?

[blasianasian]

You did not ask for it. I'm assuming the safety word was rape? Wow, you shouldn't even think twice that it was your fault. There's a limit that he exceeded after you told him to stop!

[alcide]

you should try to relax on men, don't date just have some "you time" breath treat your self, he didnt raped you but he took abvantage of your body , and sent the message to you in a bad way , you need to thank God that he didnt kill you, stay away from this guy as far as u can dont report it , change your numbers and every thing else if u really want to report him becarfeul he might just do you worst , so that very serious matter, he was an animal and just pretented to be a nice guy till he couldnt take it any more , becareful and online dating is not worth it

[PaintWithLight]

You did not ask for it. I'm assuming the safety word was rape? Wow, you shouldn't even think twice that it was your fault. There's a limit that he exceeded after you told him to stop!

 

I doubt if the safety word was "rape". A safety word is usually something completely asexual and clear so that it is jarring enough to penetrate any sexual haze that is happening. If you are doing a power exchange, you want the safety word which stops everything to be completely neutral or random.

[FabulousGrace]

You absolutely were raped. You made your boundaries clear and he violated them. Seriously, it's not too late to set the police on him. Even if nothing comes of it, it will frighten the life out of him! And if you don't, he may well be doing this to someone else....don't let that happen...

[mrsdonttell]

I am so sorry. He raped you and it's not your fault. Anyone who says it is is just as guilty as he was and they both deserve jail. I agree that you need to see a professional therapist. It seems like ur suffering from ptsd.