is almost 28 year old liking 19 year old creepy?

[TalkThatTalk9]

I work in our local grocery store right now, and I am 27 (going to be 28 in september)

 

this is a job to get me by til I can find a full time legit job.

 

I work with young people (like... 18-23 age range)

 

I have found myself developing a HUGE crush on one of the guys I work with but.... he is 19 years old.

 

I don't plan on acting on this crush... but it makes me wonder IS 27-19 TOO BIG AN AGE DIFFERENCE?

 

is it creepy that I like a guy who is almost 9 years younger?

 

he seems like he could be older, which makes me think age don't matter.

 

also when I tell people my age they are literally shocked because I look younger then I am... today someone told me I look 17! not that that matters... but I am starting to regret telling people my age before he could get to know me better ;-)

 

but I want an honest opinion on age difference?

 

also... does gender matter?

 

I am female, he is male. if he were 27 and I was 19 would it be different? my mom says yes.

 

thanks in advance!

[JA0371]

I think it matters if you are talking about actually dating him. Crushing on him is harmless. There are 27 year olds who throw their panties at. Justin Beiber..lol..eeewww..I just threw up in my mouth a little...

[Cheetarah]

Is Justin Bieber that old already? lol

 

The actual gap is not a fuss as much as(possibly) the lifestyle gap may be. When I was 25, I dated a guy who was 19. Six years is really nothing but at that stage it can tend to feel it. At that point we were both taking part time college courses and working full time jobs. I didn't drink anymore and he never was into it(still isn't 5 years later), we had similar interests, goals and values. He was also an "old soul".

 

No, I don't think it's creepy nor do I think gender plays a role.

[muso]

I'm a 33 y/o guy and I recently briefly dated a 23 y/o girl... although it didn't really pan out into anything, I didn't feel there was anything wrong with it. The girl was actually a friend of my friend's wife, she is also 23 and he is 34... so I really think age is just a number...

[peacepipe]

no I think it is fine

 

I always used to go for younger ...

[BrianH46]

Hmmmm the strange thing is had you been a 28 male pursuing a 19 female, it would bother me however in your case it doesn't. Blah caught myself in a double standard.

[lavenderdove]

I don't think it is creepy per se because he is 'legal', but it probably isn't wise due to the difference in life stages.

 

For example, a 28 year old dating a 38 year old is no big deal because they are both mature, or a 35 and 45 year old, or a 50 year old and 60 year old.

 

But at 19, he's still a teenager and you are an adult who has been on her own for a while, and he is just discovering who he is. About the time you're ready to settle down, he's still needing to find himself, find out who he is, experiment with life, learn about relationships, establish a career etc.

 

So it is the particular timing of this gap that is problematic because he has barely launched into life. I think there would be the same issue with a 19 year old girl and 28 year old guy, so it is not based on gender, but on a difference in life stages.

[crusher38]

its really ok, theres no rules broken, etc etc..... i've seen far worse like a girl about 25 dating and having a child with someone over 50

[commonsense]

Agreed...it's a maturity thing. As one gets older, larger swings in age aren't that significant due to life experiences. So no, it's not necessarily "creepy" for a 28 y/o to date a 19 y/o, but perhaps it won't be satisfying for the longer term. fwiw...

[MikNomis]

Age gap tends to become less of an issue the higher in age we go. 28 and 19 is a bit of a stretch, but I think it's not creepy. There will always be haters though.

[careymarie]

I don't think it's creepy - My dad is nine years older than my mom and they've been happily married for 26 years with five kids. And one of my mom's best friends married a guy who's eleven years younger than she is, and they're so happy it makes the rest of us sick

 

But as has been mentioned, in spite of it not being creepy, just remember that you both are probably at completely different places in your lives. I think as long as you keep that in mind and don't expect too much at this point. But creepy? Nahhhh.