My x's roommate got rid of me so that her friend got him !!!

[me4ta]

I just found out, and this is kind of scary how my intuition works...I just found out that my ex of 2 months started seeing this indian girl, good friend of his roommate.

 

Basically, 4 months ago, his roommate started telling me how great I am and our relationship is, and that we are so great with each other....that seemed weird to me, she was never my friend and now was so nice all of the sudden. That roommate had this cute indian friend, a complete b&8ch - by attitude, not by just my own opinion....and apparently as I found out, she only started liking my ex when I made him over and he started looking nice.

 

So his roommate started being nice to me, while telling him bad stuff about me, something in the lines of "you guys are too different". So the night he broke up with me on the grounds of being different (he's red blooded American, and I'm a tall, blond Russian girl), he played flip cup with his Kick Ball team on which those two girls are.....and I showed up when they were all done and I saw him kind of learking around her, trying to feel her butt, and I thought, wtf is he doing, and he kept looking back at me as if he was a little kid looking back at his parents trying to see if he's being watched. So when he saw me looking at him, he broke up with me after everybody's left and he was completely wasted.

 

So yesterday, I find out what was this whole thing about; after the break up I was telling my friends that he liked that girl, his roommate's friend, and they were all, "noo, you're paranoid" ... and there he is, dating her now.

 

I just feel so stupid and naive....I was played so well....I want revenge, but at the same time, I feel like I don't want anymore dirt in my life...

 

I'm doing NC, and keeping myself busy, but I don't know what else can I do. Should I stop believing people, especially girls that are not really my friends, are all girls like that?? Am I the only one that has morals, because I would never play someone like that to get their boyfriend....

 

Is it a good idea to always be on guard about any girl in your guy's life, and basically be paranoid, because I thought it's a sign of insecurity and why should I be threatened, I'm not ugly, I know what I'm worth, but it seems to me that I have no choice but being suspecious of every woman....

 

Do any of you have any advice for me? I feel so down right now.....

[Openminded]

Find a good man for once. Dont hate the player, hate the game. Girls are going to want your man even after the guy marries you. Trick is to find a guy who only wants to be with you. Stop wasting your time and energy thinking about this loser, just get out and have fun. Once you find someone else, and show him no response... he will think about you again.

Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold.

[me4ta]

Thank you for your response, but my question still stands, even if I find a good guy, a lot of girl tend to like guys that are taken by cute girls, even if the guys is not really that much good looking and they didn't like him before....as soon as he's with a cute girl, other girls start thinking "oh, there must be something in him, if she's going out with him". A lot of my girlfriends think so, me too, but we don't go breaking someone's relationship if we think so, but other women do....

 

So do I just not trust any girls in my hypotetical man life? Be always on guard, always learking, waiting??

 

I mean, I don't want to spend my entire life being like that, because I'm not insecure, but it seems like if you leave your man alone for a minute, there would be always a girl that will try to manipulate him into something.....are men that easy to monipulate?

[Meow18]

Not all guys & not all girls are like that. Some girls will do anything to try to break up a guy & a girl just to get to him, even if they don't really want them. Of course all girls aren't that evil though. None of my girl friends, or any girls I know would do that. You just have to surround yourself with good people with good intentions.

 

Your ex boyfriend just didn't have self control. Who doesn't like being flirted with (as long as its not totally obvious flirting)? We all like knowing that people find us attractive. That doesn't mean that you have to do anything about it. If your boyfriend was into you, he wouldn't have been so easily distracted by some other girl. I think its a mind game. She was flirting with him & since he has no self control, he just flirted back & eventually it became more for him. Not all guys are like this. If they are into you, then they are really into you & just view other girls as people who aren't anything special. Your boyfriend just sounds like a player.

 

You were just in a relationship that had horrible people involved. His friends aren't cool if they would do that. Your better off avoiding them anyway. If you trust certain people, then stay close with them. If there's a girl you know who seems like she's not a real friend, then its best to not trust her.

 

I know its hard, but you need to try to move on. Your ex sounds like a jerk & you can do better. Not all guys are like that, only the players who are always looking for better, even when they already have the best.

[me4ta]

Thank you Maggie.....the funny part is that I think I've created a monster (player) out of him.....I helped him with better clothes (i didn't buy them, i just chose), we started looking good together and he got an appartment that I helped to decorate....so he became attractive to those girls and I guess became a player...because of all this attention.

 

By all means, I'm not an ugly duckling, but he just, as you said, decided to see what's out there since he started getting this all attention.

 

I'm not blaming him, I blame myself for the choices I made - not paying attention to my inner voice, making poor choices when I saw signs but kept continuing....I could have ended it, but I was affraid, I had feelings too. Sometimes we inflict those break ups on ourselves because we choose to ignore the signs, and I did, as if I was 18...

 

So, look out girls, there's another shark out there now....my bad

 

He basically "bit the hand that fed him"....

[Scout]

Well, you should blame him. He's the one that was weak and didn't keep his promises of exclusivity to you. Yeah, his room-mate is a jerk, too, but a lot of girls are not like that. I know I'm not, nor or are my friends.

 

A truly trustworthy guy won't be so easily lead astray, no matter how many catty girls are around him.

[Ated]

me4ta

 

I KNOW excatly what you mean. e're in kinda the same situation, i made my ex look better and stuff... and i help him open up. Now that he is easier to talk to, he talks to girls.

 

I have no idea why they do this. I guess its cos they're egotistical. But like the other posts said, not every guy is like this. I know it's hard to think otherwise.

 

You and me both. We have to stay strong! WE CAN DO BETTER!

 

THINK: If we loved them so much and they replace us like that? Why should we waste our time. If we get married to them, the hurt could be soo much worse.

 

I dunno the right words to make you feel better, seeing as tho im feeling a lil down lately. But i do KNOW that we DO deserve better and good things happen to people who wait. Plus, if u just ever need to vent, you have somewhere to go and people to talk to.

 

Keep us updated. Hope u stop thinking about this jerk. I swear, i wonder sometimes how god can create such vile creatures...

[Meow18]

Like Scout said, don't blame yourself. You may have made him look better & stuff, but thats doesn't give him an excuse to act this way. No matter how many girls hit on him, if he really wanted to be with you, then no one else would have mattered. Thats got nothing to do with you, thats just the way his mind is.

 

Not all guys are like this. Some can have girls hitting on them everyday, but they pay no attention. Some guys are just natural players.

 

Girls like that are here to make us miserable. They try anything to ruin our lives. If the guys leave you for them, then those are only getting what they deserve. She got your ex, who you now realize is just a jerk. Now she has a jerky boyfriend who will leave her as soon as some other hot babe starts hitting on him. Maybe you should actually thank her because she did you a favor.

[Ated]

She got your ex, who you now realize is just a jerk. Now she has a jerky boyfriend who will leave her as soon as some other hot babe starts hitting on him. Maybe you should actually thank her because she did you a favor.

 

SOOOOO right ONN!! It's quite pathetic actually. While this is going on, you should get a make over too! get EVEN PRETTIER! Then he'lll come running back to u cos not only your pretty and nice and everything.... but you had something together.... THEN

[me4ta]

The best part was...that I found him a new job after we broke up, just accidentally, I went out to a club, met a guy who owns a computer company that creates some software for X-Boxes and my ex is crazy about it and a computer programmer....so when that guy said he's looking for people (the company is small tho, they are growing) - I said I might have someone....so I casually asked my ex if he wants to have those people's info.....

 

He was thrilled, took the info, interviewed and is thinking about leaving his company and work there with a pay cut (too bad for his new gf - no wining and dining for her ! )

 

So he IMed me saying that ther's a 99.9% chance he's leaving Booz Allen Hamilton for this little company (no guarantees but with potential) but nothing else....so I called him last Fri to find out about the interview because I was thinking to get a finder's reward for him, like a stock option or something (not money)...so I say "hi, can you chat?" and he goes "I suppose, who's this?" I was stunned....but not hurt, it actually ammused me because there's no way he could forget my phone number dialing it for a year, but would not remember it after 2 months???? Riiiiiiight. He told me he got a new phone and didn't have all numbers there....BS

 

I know he's a jerk....I know I can do better (and you Ated too, and all of us on this site for that matter ) - but it kills me to think that GOD indeed created people like him, and it's something I don't get, because people like my ex are scum.

[Ated]

I know he's a jerk....I know I can do better (and you Ated too, and all of us on this site for that matter ) - but it kills me to think that GOD indeed created people like him, and it's something I don't get, because people like my ex are scum.

 

He is indeed a scum!! And the fact that you recognise it, is a good step to recovery!!! YAY

 

Trsut me tho, working on yourself and yes surrounding yourself with friends that make u feel good, makes this guy sooooo unworthy of your time. Honestly, if i can do it, ANYONE CAN!

 

I hate jerks. They need to be castrated... BUt we shall not cry over them. We shall walk on them...

 

"I'm floating on air!!"

[me4ta]

Oh oh, I foolishly hoped he'd be back and after some thought I would probably accept his return....but after recent developments??? NO WAY.

 

I don't know how some people on this site even thinking about taking their exes back after they started dating other people and it didn't work out and they crawled back....

 

To me my ex is damaged goods now, I won't even look at his direction twice.....they say, women forgive but never forget.....I am exactly like that, I won't be able to forget about it, so I will never take that person back.

 

I hope those two girls get what they deserve...I actually yesterday thought about revenge, since it was just too fresh in my head. I wanted to subscribe them (my ex and his roommate) to mail in brochures - for him (penis enlargement) and for her (acne treatments [she has major skin problems])

 

I let this thought go, too much effort for those loosers.

 

Has anyone here actually monifested any of the revenge plots, ever?

[Ated]

hahaha thats sooooooo funny! I would love to do that, but im too 'proper' lol

 

 

hahah anyways.... yes, revenge seems like a good idea!!! But i posted about it and they say "live well and be happy" is the best revenge!

[me4ta]

I repllied to your post about revenge and I said - ignorance is bliss - so that's what i'm doing.....ignoring 8)

[Ated]

Ignoring is fun! I reckon you can do what he did to u...

 

When he calls say.... "who is this? (insert name) who?? (last name)

 

"NOPE! SOrry I dunno anyone by that name. I think you got the wrong number!"

 

HAHA

[tammygurl]

Does it bother you that your man dumped you for an indian girl or does it bother you that you got dumped in general? You seem to emphasize throughout your post that she is indian. As a fellow uni student, and Aboriginal woman I would think that you would have the intelligence to know that the politically correct term is Aboriginal. Unless in fact she from the MIddle East and then yes she would be an East Indian. Obviously you are scalded by the fact that you got dumped and have resorted to racial slander. That is pretty low.

[Ated]

I think you are misunderstanding.... I am saying that she is indian because he always told me that he couldnt be with me because he is sri lankan and i am filo. He was in fact the one who was being racial. His reason for dumping me was he cant see a future with me because his paretns will not agree to the 'marriage' or watever. I said. Tahts ok... We can just remanin friends. and he said "NO!" Then out of the blue... he tells me that he has an indian girl. And when we were together he kept telling me how IMPORTANT that he marries a SRILANKAN GIRL WITH THE SAME SOCIAL STATUS AS HIM! I think your really getting me wrong. Quite frankly, I think your attacking the wrong person. And honestly, i think if u knew the whole situation, you will be more in side of me. I got nothing agianst the girl. In fact i worry about her. Just last night he spoke to me... and said that he already 'did it' with her...

 

I dunno anymore... But i guess if thats what u think im doing i cant prove to u otherwise. I really felt stressed last night... and id rahter you have put it in a nicer way. Now YOU just make me feel bad too... Oh well... *sigh*

[me4ta]

OK, what I mean is from India, not Native American or anything like that.....

 

Second of all, I am not full of whatever you say - what I said is that he told me that we were different because I was from a different culture, Russian and he's American......and then right after that he started dating a girl from India.

 

OK, I'm from Europe, and that girl is from India - how different can I be compared to that girl??? In terms of culture, I think that Indian culture is more different than European, but it is as different as Russian to American as Indian to American.

 

Before you get angry and start offending someone - ask questions, will ya....

 

I don't need any advice on that situation anymore, there's no need to openning up this topic again...I'm over that guy and his escapades with whomever, it could be a Martian for all I care...

 

 

 

Take care.