For the girls ---- VIRGIN?: Is this a dealbreaker?

[bulletproof]

I'm not talking about myself when I drink. I need a few drinks to even get the courage to try to make a move. I'm talking about when the GIRLS drink. When girls drink they can be flirty and touchy but don't actually mean it because they are a little tipsy. It takes A LOT of alcohol for me to not know what's going on. I used the "drunk" part as an excuse if things become awkward.

 

I know exactly what you meant. Situations become confusing- you don't know where they're coming from because they might just be tipsy. But if you spent less time in bars drinking with them and more time doing stuff where you get to know people on a real level, minus the drinking, you might have a better chance.

 

Btw, if you ever need a few drinks for courage to do anything, that seems like a problem.

[blueidealist24]

I dunno if you just use different slang in your area or what, but what is a "court" girl?

[freedomaddict]

What's DTF mean?

 

Down To Fondle (The more accurate word replacing the F would have my answer removed. Go figure).

[Don Khan]

Well, I got drunk and I just texted the girl that I'm a virgin. Hopefully she'll just think it's an honest rant. It's the same girl through majority of my threads. I felt like I needed to tell her and be honest. I didn't tell her that I've never been in a relationship, only the part that I basically have wanted to have sex but I would rather be in a relationship first.

 

Typically in the animal kingdom the male chases after the female for sex and she is the gatekeeper. For instance, deer have mating rituals where the dominant male will run off other males to mate with a doe. After mating with the doe the buck will attempt to mate with other does. The doe however can only be impregnated once a season. The buck benefits by mating with as many does as possible. The does benefit by mating with the buck with the best genes.

 

Sure we are capable of critical thinking but we can't escape evolutionary instincts. So to varying degrees and manifestations a guy's role is to try to get in a woman's pants and her role is to choose a guy that has good genes and can provide for her offspring. It's usually off putting when a guy expresses that he is a virgin (i.e. has been unsuccessful at 'mating' in the past). It's also out of role for a guy to be the one pushing for a relationship. I really think a guy should wait until the woman brings up wanting a commitment. You have to at least pretend to be confident in your sexual value. Think about it, why would a woman want a mate who doesn't believe in his own mating ability.

 

When I am with a guy I want him to be confident and take lead in the relationship, including in the bedroom. If I were you, I would fake it till you make it. Be confident.

I fully agree with her advice.

 

[video=youtube;vt318gCRP_c] ]

[Dougie_D]

So basically because I'm unattractive with no HIGH status I'm NEVER going to be able to have a girlfriend or to have sex? What a crappy day. I can't change the way I am. I've tried new styles, even starting to wear cologne but still, no girl seems remotely interested. I can have a conversation but then again, she's using me.

 

I dunno if you just use different slang in your area or what, but what is a "court" girl?

I meant to "court" a girl. Old way of saying to "date" her.

 

But if you spent less time in bars drinking with them and more time doing stuff where you get to know people on a real level, minus the drinking, you might have a better chance.

 

Where would these places be? The gym? --- people don't talk, they work out Work? --- I work on the road with 5 other dudes Beach? --- People are scattered and are usually in groups and are with families Hiking? --- With who? The bears? Plus, can you really talk and hike at the same time? Movies? --- You can't talk.

I guess what I'm trying to say is BARS are specifically used for SOCIAL environments. What other SOCIAL environments are there?

[Fudgie]

My boyfriend was a virgin when we got together and I thought it was great. No problem here. He was okay with his virginity and didn't think of it as a bad thing at all.

 

The truth is, if you're a Negative Ned and are down about your virginity, then people will pick up on that. Women aren't stupid. No one wants to date someone who has self-loathing. It's just not healthy.

 

"Happiness is a Choice"

[Dougie_D]

I don't try to make it out that my virginity is a bad thing at all. I don't like to waste people's time. I've known this girl for over a year. Most people know I'm a virgin by the 4th meeting. I would rather let them know upfront with my inexperience than trying to "fake it"...because I can't fake things. I'm honest with myself. If I was dating a girl, why would I want to go through years of dating to find out "secrets" later? If a girl has slept with 100 guys, don't you think I have the right to know?

[Fudgie]

I don't try to make it out that my virginity is a bad thing at all. I don't like to waste people's time. I've known this girl for over a year. Most people know I'm a virgin by the 4th meeting. I would rather let them know upfront with my inexperience than trying to "fake it"...because I can't fake things. I'm honest with myself. If I was dating a girl, why would I want to go through years of dating to find out "secrets" later? If a girl has slept with 100 guys, don't you think I have the right to know?

 

You do sound insecure about your virginity though, so it doesn't sound like you think of it as a good thing and people can sense that. People can sense insecurity in others.

 

I think if you are becoming sexual with someone, absolutely, you should know each others' pasts beforehand. But telling people by the 4th meeting? Why? Unless you plan on getting sexual with them right away, I don't see how this is necessary. I imagine you are probably not bringing it up in a constructive way either. Many virgin guys feel about it and instead of playing it off as "Hey, I had other priorities in the past and am new to relationships but I am excited for learning and having new experiences" most actually come accross as "Oh god I'm a virgin because no one would ever bother with me PLEASE ACCEPT ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE" Not attractive.

[Don Khan]

So basically because I'm unattractive with no HIGH status I'm NEVER going to be able to have a girlfriend or to have sex? What a crappy day. I can't change the way I am. I've tried new styles, even starting to wear cologne but still, no girl seems remotely interested. I can have a conversation but then again, she's using me.

 

Projecting that you have value by being confident is much more important than cologne. Are you looking for advice or affirmation you've done everything right and sympathy for your situation?

 

Your original question was "Should I tell girls my lack of experience, being a virgin, etc..?"

You told her and how did that work out? Seriously think about if you're looking for advice or justification for complacency.

[Dougie_D]

You know, after really looking into the reason why I tell girls I'm a virgin...I think I figured it out.

 

A lot of times, I get the feeling that a girl is not into me after awhile and it disturbs me. So, because of that, as my last effort to get some type of attention or even sometimes pity, I throw out the VIRGIN card. In my eyes, I'm hoping that she'll be attractive to the part that I'm a virgin. I've heard that some girls ARE indeed don't mind that a guy is a virgin...but I guess, she has to be interested in me first. Bummer.

 

I don't know what I'm doing wrong early on to not make a girl be attracted towards me. Does this make sense now?

[blueidealist24]

I think telling a girl you're a virgin on the 4th meeting or so is too early. You should wait until you get into a relationship. Telling them something that personal when you don't know them very well could get awkward, and as long as you're not in a relationship they don't need to know. If you're going to have a one night stand with another willing participant I don't think either person is required to disclose their sexual history.

[intergallactic]

I wouldnt have thought so mate, at all I would expect a woman would be over the moon to know that you havent had your penis in any other womens vaginas. No comparisons for a start. It would make her feel very special I'd have thought.

 

You are brave to admit this fact about yourself accross the world wide web, AND have a photo of yourself as an avatar though

[bulletproof]

Where would these places be? The gym? --- people don't talk, they work out Work? --- I work on the road with 5 other dudes Beach? --- People are scattered and are usually in groups and are with families Hiking? --- With who? The bears? Plus, can you really talk and hike at the same time? Movies? --- You can't talk.

I guess what I'm trying to say is BARS are specifically used for SOCIAL environments. What other SOCIAL environments are there?

 

See the last ten threads you posted. I'm pretty sure people gave you a ton of ideas about other places to meet and get to know a woman outside of a bar. Has the bar route been working for you so far? It doesn't seem like it, so it would make sense to try something else out. But you seem really resistant to that.

[intergallactic]

You know, after really looking into the reason why I tell girls I'm a virgin...I think I figured it out.

 

A lot of times, I get the feeling that a girl is not into me after awhile and it disturbs me. So, because of that, as my last effort to get some type of attention or even sometimes pity, I throw out the VIRGIN card. In my eyes, I'm hoping that she'll be attractive to the part that I'm a virgin. I've heard that some girls ARE indeed don't mind that a guy is a virgin...but I guess, she has to be interested in me first. Bummer.

 

I don't know what I'm doing wrong early on to not make a girl be attracted towards me. Does this make sense now?

 

telling girls you barely know - BTW i am a virgin, wanna pop my cherry?! kinda sounds weird, and may not be a turn on.

Were you to get to know them a little, and the virgin card reveals itself like in the 40y/o virgin, then they might then find you to be someone they really want to bond with and reward and take care of.

[intergallactic]

I don't try to make it out that my virginity is a bad thing at all. I don't like to waste people's time. I've known this girl for over a year. Most people know I'm a virgin by the 4th meeting. I would rather let them know upfront with my inexperience than trying to "fake it"...because I can't fake things. I'm honest with myself. If I was dating a girl, why would I want to go through years of dating to find out "secrets" later? If a girl has slept with 100 guys, don't you think I have the right to know?

 

you could ALWAYS go to a massage parlour or hire an escort for an hour, and get your cherry popped for a small fee, then the virgin issue no longer exists as an ISSUE!

[intergallactic]

I'm not talking about myself when I drink. I need a few drinks to even get the courage to try to make a move. I'm talking about when the GIRLS drink. When girls drink they can be flirty and touchy but don't actually mean it because they are a little tipsy. It takes A LOT of alcohol for me to not know what's going on. I used the "drunk" part as an excuse if things become awkward.

 

how would you go on if alcohol didnt exist?

 

youd have to get on with it!