Feeling so much better......But weird

[miss_sunshine86]

Hi

A month and a half ago I was devastated, crying everyday.

I feel so much better especially over the last week, I have barely been thinking about him, I actually feel, happy. I have been strict NC for 3 weeks.

But at the same time I feel him fading away, the memory of him over the past 6 years, the thoughts of how much it hurt for him to disappear 6 weeks ago, after 6 years together on and off.

It is all fading, which feels so scary, as if this is it, I am letting him go forever. I feel happy yet anxious and scared, like can I really do this?

I hope everyone is moving forward...much love.

x

[thisisnotdave]

I totally understand where you're coming from. I am a little over 2 months since my break up. I am also scared to forget her. I still do love her but I am slowly letting go. Ah, the magic of NC. I never thought I would be where I am today, healing. But I know this is just a good point in my cycle. I will probably feel low again..

 

Sometimes I just want her to know that I am letting her go. I'll play it in my head about telling her something like "I'm starting to forget you. Are you sure you want this?" I'll never do it but that's just the way I feel.

 

I remember one poster said something like "Don't you dare start remembering me the moment I start forgetting you." Makes so much sense.

[Lambert]

i am with you!! Its been 2.5 months since the BU and a 1 month of NC. (a Few weeks after the BU, he contacted me for my BDay. I almost fell into talking to regularly him but I deleted him from my FB and phone.)

 

It's been up and down... sometimes I miss him. Sometimes I miss his family more than him. I think of him more than I would like but it's fading and it's not as sad as it was in the beginning.

 

I am getting to a point where, I am actually afraid that he is going to contact me. We were off and on for a year and a half and 3 months seems to be his trigger. We would be happy for three months and then he would end it saying, he just didn't think it would work out. Then about 3 months later, he'd say he made a mistake and we should be together.

 

It's funny but I am really starting to hope to meet someone else!!

[miss_sunshine86]

Lambert: haha - my ex used to leave after 3 months too. apart from last time, he stayed for 7 months, so this was unexpected. I feel the same too about the contact - do I really want to go through this ever again? no. I hope to meet someone new too!

 

Dave: yes I am totally with you - i feel like saying, " i am so close to forgetting you, are you sure you want this!?" - but of course I won't. if he was really bothered he would come and speak to me however he ended our relationship by disappearing into thin air 6 weeks ago.

[secondchance67]

Right there with ya....4 months out of a 6 year relationship.

Just last week and all of this week I have been feeling " OK" ; not really thinking of her, but I know she will always be with me in some way, shape or form...if only in my heart, deep down, in a spot forever reserved for her.

 

I feel "weird" as well - that's the best explanation for it I guess.....I feel almost guilty for feeling good!! its almost like I am betraying her in some strange way....anyone else feel that way? Almost "uncomfortable" feeling good and putting the heartache behind you??

 

HAHA...how crazy is that after all I went thru ( put myself thru, is more like it) over the last 4 months !!

 

I can feel her fading too....each week she has less and less of a hold on me....and I am embracing it and letting it happen.

 

They say for any chance at getting back together sometime in the future, you have to completely let go of the past; I am doing that, day by day....but I don't want her back - not now, not ever......this journey so far has taught me so much about what I REALLY want, and what I will never "settle for" again.....