Wondering how many of you met online before meeting in person...

[Divine010]

Well only you know what the situation is with this guy. So do what you feel is right for yourself and what you feel comfortable with. I am just concerned about the whole waiting piece. Because there have been guys that I vibed with online and over the phone, but when we met, there was no attraction. I'm 31 yrs. old girl and time waits for no one..lol. I support you though and I hope it turns out well!

[truman2017]

I have met 3 women on line and all fizzled out months after the initial meeting because of boredom--all from here BTW

[Huntress0527]

I hope it works out for you OP!!! He does sound promising. Travelling is expensive so I can understand why money could be an issue.

[sandrawg]

Well...you guys all gave me really good advice. Based on your advice, I tried to talk to him about meeting sooner, but..he wouldn't have it.

 

We got into a bit of an argument..worked it out, then today, he sent me a link to a blog he posts things on, and there was some girl, Daria, commenting all over his stuff. When I asked who she was, he hemmed and hawed, and told a couple blatant lies, then tried to claim the blog had been hacked

 

Oh well, good to find out sooner rather than later what a liar he is, eh???

[OptomisticGirl]

What were the blatant lies? Or how did you konw they were lies?

[sandrawg]

Well, in one of the posts, he posted a sexy voicemail msg he'd recorded from a girl he called his "girlfriend" -- 1 month ago. When I asked about her, he said it was a while back and she was not his gf.

 

Then, I saw tons of comments and flirtatiousness back and forth with a girl "Daria". When I asked him about her, he FIRSt said, oh she's some girl from 2 yrs ago (the most recent comment from her was 1 MONTH AGO)..then he tried to claim, he didn't know anyone and that he couldn't even *see* comments on the blog (which is funny, cuz a couple of the comments were made by him at his email addr)...then he tried to claim he must'vve been hacked.

 

Oh right, someone is going around hacking personal blogs and making sexy comments.

 

It's just obvious BS. He's bad at making up stuff.

[becomingkate]

In my opinion, and this is only for me - I could never have feelings for someone until I met them in person.

I met my husband online eight years ago. We started talking on messenger, and within the first two days I asked him to meet me for dinner because I don't believe in a) wasting my time or b) waiting for someone to say they loved me so that I would turn on my web cam.

Out of all of the online relationships I have known (through friends & family), I have never known anyone to talk for six months or more, "fall in love" and stay in love after meeting.

[OptomisticGirl]

Yeah it seems sketchy OP. my husband and I fell in love before we met in person but there was none of that caused me to think he was being truthful

[sandrawg]

It's incredibly sketch. As we were IM'ing about this on Facebook, I went back to look at his blog, and he had taken it down. If he wasn't lying or had nothing to hide, he wouldn't have done that. It's too bad. He seemed cool.

 

I gotta be more cautious.

 

Yeah it seems sketchy OP. my husband and I fell in love before we met in person but there was none of that caused me to think he was being truthful

[Divine010]

It's incredibly sketch. As we were IM'ing about this on Facebook, I went back to look at his blog, and he had taken it down. If he wasn't lying or had nothing to hide, he wouldn't have done that. It's too bad. He seemed cool.

 

I gotta be more cautious.

 

Sorry to hear, but better now than later! That's good girl! Paying attention to the signs. They are always there. I had to cancel the 2nd date with this guy, because he wasn't good at communicating and I saw that as a potential sign, along with other things. Well just hang in there and keep trying, there's somebody out there.

[Knocturne]

I met my boyfriend of 4 years on Myspace and I can tell you that our relationship wouldn't have worked out if we didn't plan to see each other in person from the very moment we decided we wanted to be together. It gave us hope and the ability to push through the online barriers and arguments that developed because of not being together in person. He and I talked online for a year until we met in person, in between then we would use web chat/cam and phones to communicate. I stayed with him for a month in the summer and it was the hardest thing having to leave him. A year after we met in person he chose to come and live near me until I finished schooling. In 3 to 4 months we will be living together in his home town.

 

I can't say that long distance relationships, especially online are for everyone. The struggles of not meeting the significant other in person beforehand can be a hardship on anyone. I'd be lying if I said that my boyfriend and I didn't almost end what we had because of the tough times we went through over it. In the back of our minds we always told ourselves that a lot of our problems such as jealousy and lonesomeness were because of the online barrier, and it wouldn't always be that way. It took a long time for the both of us to develop mutual trust because we were very committed to each other and long distance is one of the hardest ways to keep it that way.

 

Now that we see each other every chance we get, (him living down the street from me) we cherish the personal moments we have together because it wasn't always like that. If anything, I think we can say that we appreciate our now in-person relationship more than most people that began relationships in person.

 

I wish you the best of luck if you choose to pursue a long distance relationship.

 

EDIT I just read later posts from you and this reminds me a lot of the relationship I had before I met my now boyfriend. My previous relationship was with someone I too met over the internet and through his Myspace he gave me doubts about how faithful he was to me. For the longest time we just spoke through e-mail until we added each other on Myspace and I found that 200 of his friends were girls and only 5 or so were guys. I was very young and stupidly naive so I looked past the comments on his page from half naked girls that read provocative and suspicious. This went on for I hate to admit, a couple of years... and when I called him and asked to have access to his account he stalled and I found out he had been deleting messages between him and other girls. Being the idiot he was, he forgot to delete messages from his saved folder and I read them. That ended it all for me.

 

He caused me to have jealousy and confidence issues for the longest time. I remember looking through other profiles of girls I saw on his page and he'd tell them how beautiful they were and how he wished he could be with them.

 

It's truly embarrassing for me to admit all of this but I suppose it's beneficial to others. This was my first online relationship and it helped me to pick up on things, even though looking back on it now, it was clear as day. He'd constantly lie and even give me a couple of stories about one thing to see which I'd believe better. He never planned to meet up with me in person, and I found out that I was one of 3 or 4 other girls he was supposedly "committed" to. If it weren't for the mistakes I made with this guy I would have never met the love of my life now.

[Heather Dawn]

Totally agree with this. I don't believe you can have a romantic relationship with someone online whom you've never actually met. Nor do I believe that it enhances your mental/emotional connection because the physical doesn't "get in the way." All of those things are important, key elements of a real, genuine relationship and they ALL need to be present. Besides, unless you're spending quality time with someone, you can't really gauge chemistry. And you can't truly know someone without experiencing them; having them tell you who they are just isn't the same as seeing for yourself.

[Coconut Twin]

The last week has been a whirlwind of emotions for me..I met someone on Facebook a week ago, and we've been texting/emailing/talking on the phone like crazy. He's amazing and is really into me, and I like him a lot, too. Right now, he's in Texas, but he's getting ready to move to Portland.

 

I'm in Maryland, dealing with a family illness, though my permanent residence is in L.A. I'm renting it out while I deal with my family stuff.

 

He says he has feelings for me, and while I definitely want to get to know him, I'm wondering if it's possible to have feelings for someone you haven't even met?

 

I've heard stories of people who met someone online and developed a relationship before meeting--can this work out?

 

I think from regular lengthy phone calls it can definitely happen. I'm not too sure about emails, possibly IMing because that's realtime, like speaking on the phone..