Break up due to stress/life circumstances

[xstar]

Hi guys, I have a post going in the relationship forum about some background issues with my boyfriend - we broke up after I posted.

 

He broke up with me because of circumstances. We are in a LDR, and he has multiple things going on (terminally ill father, two jobs, trouble at work). He said that he couldn't handle a relationship right now and felt very defeated and guilty for not being able to be a devoted boyfriend (even though I could careless). I think he might be depressed.

 

In any case, we didn't break up b/c of GIGS, another person or any of my personal issues. Purely "everything working against the relationship" type of situation.

 

I don't want to try to get him back - he obviously has his plate full and needs space, although it kills not to be able to talk to him or help him. I'm just hoping you guys can share some stories of a similar types of situational-break ups that some how worked out for the best. I need to give up but I also wish I had some hope that everything will work out for the best

[SeattleSigh]

That's hard. I feel for you. My ex and I were in a very similar situation, but we didn't break up. We tried to make it work through it all. Only the stress of it all was crushing and added to the demise of the relationship. It made us both do things and act in ways that we wouldn't normally. Now there's a lot of hurt and so we can't go back. If you let him know that you still care about him and want to support him, even if that means being apart, there's a chance you might get back together someday. Just make sure to take are of yourself though.

[Dragongirl]

Hi. The love of my life broke up with me a few days ago. We've been dating for more than four years. the reasons he said were that there are others who are far more deserving than he is and that he has a lot of problems. Last four years have been rough on him. He experienced the sudden death of his dad, brother got sick, and recently failed major subjects in his school. he blames himself for the death of his dad and puts a lot of pressure on himself because he said his relatives expect a lot from him due to his dad's death.

 

We have been in a long distance relatinoship since we live in different parts of the city and our jobs are so time demanding that he hardly has time for me. We rarely see each other and seldom talk. I have complained to him that he has more time with his friends in school than he has with me. i felt neglected but tried to be understanding and patient because of what he was going through. I told him that he should make time with me even if it's just leaving me simple messages. I have told this reasons to him and it gets better for a while then it will happen again. It's a cycle eversince he started school.

 

I asked him what he wanted and he said that he wants to continue what we have but ultimately he realized that things would just repeat itself. I asked if there was a chance that we could still be together in the future and he said, "maybe."

 

But he wasn't at all like this during the first 3 years of our relationship. What caused him to change this much was the death of his father. It affected him greatly. This may be too cliche to hear but I promise you that I was treated like a queen. He was the nicest guy I knew and a lot of women would agree that anyone who would have him is a lucky woman. Him prioritizing his friends over me just started last year when we lived in different parts of the city as we used to always be together. I guess the reason why I'm hoping for things to get better between us is because I know who he really is deep down inside and that who he is now is just a reaction from the circumstance that happened to his father.

 

His acting like this may also have been aggravated by the people surrounding him. His male buddies love to drink till their death, smoke, and other things. I asked him if there was another girl and he said there was none. All of our friends know that we broke up but he still hasn't told his family. I told him that I dont want to be just a label because we really had something. He said I was his bestfriend. We ended on good terms and we still talk (as it has only been a week since our break up).

 

I still love him very much and I am hoping that we still end up together. Do you think things will get better for us? What should I do?

[Jdominguez]

My story is not the same but similar that my bf broke up with me due to the stress in being a provider dealing with financial stress. Letting them go will let them realize how they can still have a time for a relationship or need. They will try and get back with you when the stresses begin to decrease but you will have to decide whether their reasoning stress for breaking up was worth the emotional pain you went through and if you really want to be with someone who you know when stress piles on they will let you go . I hope this helps a little . I'm just speaking from experience.

[Capricorn3]

Old thread and OP has not returned for 3 years. Thread closed.