What I thought came true...

[chadntx]

I found it funny that one day my wife loved me and then all the sudden filed for divorce. Today I asked her to please tell if she was with someone else. Sort of like a piece of closure for me I guess. After asking a couple of times she admitted there was someone else. the woman that believed faithfullness was so important and valued, lol. It hurt pretty bad to hear it but I guess I needed it to quit driving myself nuts trying to win her back. I know she's gone now, 5 years are wasted. It's hard to think when she had cancer I would have to dress her sometimes and help her with her makeup, only being a guy in my mid 20's it was alot. Then she is all better , and left. But you know I will have the memories in my heart forever. But after this I can't see trusting another woman ever again. I mean she had me bluffed the whole time and I had no clue.....

[Scout]

That's awful. Seriously. All I can do is ask you to consider trusting women again one day, because the majority would not do that. The majority of people - men and women - don't cheat. The majority of people - men and women - do not leave someone who stood by them when they had cancer unless there is something seriously wrong with the marriage (and not just because of another guy/woman.)

 

I am so sorry you are going through this. Please continue to post, you can get some helpful feedback from eNotalone posters.

[kungfumaster]

Hi chadntx,

 

I wholeheartely agree with Scout's post. When I read your post, I honestly didn't know what to say, but felt I had to at least try. I was reminded of a post previously that was so beautiful, that whenever I felt really depressed about my break up, I read it over and over again. I hope it will give you some relief from your pain.

 

YOU LEARN

 

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

You learn

That love doesn't mean leaning

and company doesn't mean security.

And you learn that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises

and you begin to accept your defeats,

with your head up and your eyes ahead

With the grace of a woman not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure,

you really are strong,

you really do have worth

and you learn

with every goodbye,

You learn.

 

Take care.

Kung fu

[lunatic]

OMG I read this post and I felt so bad for what you are going through. Dam your a nice guy and you stuck by your wife through a tramatic event and she still left ya. Geez what an ungrateful woman to be so cold to you. I would not even know what to do if that happened to me. I mean you dressed her, put on her make up too WOW. I give you SERIOUS PROPS!

 

I don't even know where to begin... I mean your a great person who deserves more from life than the punch in the groin you just got. I am sure there will be someone someday who will light up your life again. Remember one thing when it comes to people. Not everyone is out to hurt you and not everyone is a lying cheat.

 

When your ready and healed up from this disaster then you will find trust in women again. Right now your hurt and no your not going to be able to trust while you go through this. When the divorce is over and she is out of your life then you can start to rebuild your life but, first you have to get the pain out of your heart.

 

My god man heal yourself before you look for another relationship. Trust me on this because it will bite you in the butt one day. Take some time for you and think about what you like and don't like about yourself. Fix the little things that you don't like for example join a gym, volunteer your time for a charity or something you strongly believe in. Get out there and be in good company because there is nothing worse than going through a time like this alone.

 

Keep busy and try to put in place the NC rule as much as you legally can. Most of all keep posting here because you are not alone in this and I am sure there are others out there who can relate. Welcome to Enotalone.com my friend the best site out there for people going through a bad break.

 

Take care,

 

Hubman 8)

[still climbing]

hey!!! sorry to hear that.I was in the same situation,my ex wife was my world. When we had our first child she had to have a c section because my daughters was in the wrong direction.she couldn't get up for three months.I have to take a vacation from my job to take care of both of them.I was up 15 hours a day for three months.I did everything,from cleaning her,cooking,washing,help her take a shower or bath.dress her up,put her back to bed and i still have to take care of my daughter.God I love them.Yet after 5 wonderful years with her she had to cheat on me and wanted a separation. I don't know why women are like that.One day they want you the next they throw you back out.

[fantasia2004]

SHE NEVER GAVE AREASON WHY?

[chadntx]

She tell me she just don't love me like she once did , pretty much it.

[JohnnyTable]

Common enough... same for me!

[fantasia2004]

Me too, I had cancer and my ex left the first time when I had the treatment. Now he admits he could not handle it.

 

I feel your pain.