First date last night, need some opinions

[Batya33]

I went on many first meets that didn't lead to a first date. The way I saw it, unless we had a specific time and place plan for our first official date he was off my radar meaning if he called to ask me out great and if not then obviously he wasn't that into me. The "had a great time" and "call me to let me know you got home safely" were nice but I treated them as irrelevant to whether he wanted to ask me out on a real date no matter how well the first meet went.

[laura40]

No I have not, not that bothered by it anymore. Have accepted the fact that for whatever reason he just wasn't interested.

 

Sorry to hear he never got in contact.

 

Seeing as it's Wednesday now, I don't think he's interested. It's rubbish how things ended and I would be annoyed at him for not even stating his rejection. I know some people say that after only one date it's not mandatory to receive a response but it does bring closure to the situation and IMO a rejection is better than waiting around wondering why he hasn't called.

 

At least you can now shout NEXT!

[bebeblondie]

Sorry to hear he never got in contact.

 

Seeing as it's Wednesday now, I don't think he's interested. It's rubbish how things ended and I would be annoyed at him for not even stating his rejection. I know some people say that after only one date it's not mandatory to receive a response but it does bring closure to the situation and IMO a rejection is better than waiting around wondering why he hasn't called.

 

At least you can now shout NEXT!

 

 

Yea the first couple of days were a bit harsh, but now im pretty much over it...and looking back on it I can spot out some red flags anyway so no big deal.

 

It's just strange, cause after dinner he even asked me if wanted to go for a drink, but I explained to him that I couldn't because I had school in the morning, and since I already had wine at dinner, I didnt want to drink anymore because I had to drive home. He said he understood (which I truly believe he did, I dont think he got offended by me declining) and walked me to my car.

 

I really can't accuse of him being unfair in not stating his disinterest after a first date, because in his position I probably would've done the same. And who knows maybe he was interested at the time but then lost it, it happens.

[laura40]

Well at least you can chalk this up to experience and go find a new guy! Good luck!

[Batya33]

I wouldn't waste time looking for "red flags" on a first date that have to do with whether there will be a second date. It's simple. If he wants a second date (or a first date after a first meet) he will ask you for the date. If he doesn't ask for a specific time/place date by the time the date is over, you walk away, remind yourself of what a fun time you had and he is then off your radar- if he calls for a second date, great, if not you've already moved on so no "flags" to analyze. And the analysis is usually irrelevant - unless he asked you out or told you he definitely won't, the rest of it is anybody's guess no matter how much he complimented you (or didn't).

[april15]

I had this happen to me when I was dating. Lesson I learned was not to waste too much time communicating without actually meeting. Physical chemistry is very important in my book and if it is not there it is not there. Sounds like he wanted it to work but didn't feel the chemistry and then took the easy way out by not calling or texting instead of telling you it just wasn't there.

[bebeblondie]

I had this happen to me when I was dating. Lesson I learned was not to waste too much time communicating without actually meeting. Physical chemistry is very important in my book and if it is not there it is not there. Sounds like he wanted it to work but didn't feel the chemistry and then took the easy way out by not calling or texting instead of telling you it just wasn't there.

 

I actually agree with you 100%, I don't like wasting too much time talking before meeting up, but it just happened to work out this way in this instance.

[Batya33]

I had this happen to me when I was dating. Lesson I learned was not to waste too much time communicating without actually meeting. Physical chemistry is very important in my book and if it is not there it is not there. Sounds like he wanted it to work but didn't feel the chemistry and then took the easy way out by not calling or texting instead of telling you it just wasn't there.

 

For me the in person meeting wasn't just about physical chemistry but about actually getting relevant information about the person to see if dating was a possibility -how he treated the waiter or customer service people or strangers, his body language or "presence, etc

[lila...]

For me the in person meeting wasn't just about physical chemistry but about actually getting relevant information about the person to see if dating was a possibility -how he treated the waiter or customer service people or strangers, his body language or "presence, etc

 

But also keep in mind that most people don't show their true colors on the first dates. I don't think the "waiter test" is ideal, I think there are other signs to look out for. But that's another story.

[Batya33]

But also keep in mind that most people don't show their true colors on the first dates. I don't think the "waiter test" is ideal, I think there are other signs to look out for. But that's another story.

 

I was simply referring to the waste of time it is to analyze whether another date will happen. I agree that people often make a better impression than is "normal" but in a face to face meeting you have a good chance of catching the person off guard in how he deals with people other than you. I have many examples of that.