Broke NC after 26 days....

[Personal]

Welll myself and my x have had it difficult we split up start of january after 2 years (the last year was off and on).

 

It started with me asking my brother and his GF to unfollow her on twitter as she has it private and i didn't want them to see anything and tell me which they did, my brothers GF messaged her and told her she was doing that. Anyway my x messaged back saying "I hope hes ok. i hate not being able to just ask him how he is. I know i need to leave him to get on with things. please tell him i wish him all the best. last time we spoke it was arguing and i hated leaving it like that. I know i cant get in touch with him, itd prob just end up in an argument again. "

 

My brothers GF sent me that so i decided to break NC we spoke and she was upset she told me she has been causual dating a guy she dated when we split last august, she told me she hadn't slept with him. I played it cool and accepted that she also told me "i know deep down i want to be with you if there was no FB and twitter and friends didn't know everything its sad" She also said she wishes we had went to couples counselling when we first got back together. She told me she missed me and talked about me to her friends and work friends. We spoke for 2 hrs and again decided to go NC after the conversation unless it was for something serious.

 

I came off the phone and 2 hrs later she txt'd saying "do you know what it was so nice to just chat with you. if you ever want to talk im here" we sent a few txts back and forth nothing to serious.

 

My brothers GF just messaged me now saying my x has just sent this

 

"It's ok he's rang me. Had a good chat. God knows L** were a rite pair aren't we. Haha. But we've sorted it now so we've left it on good terms. Love him to bits but we just won't wrk, think he's realised that too. Dsnt mean it's any easier. U never know what's gunna happen in the future xx"

 

I feel ok and not to bad for breaking NC i just dont her to lose respect for me by me calling her i have asked my brothers GF not to message me her messages anymore as its not fair but i'm a little confused with the fact it seems like she is so much in love with me yet doesn't want to be with me. Personaly i think its a time thing as i did hurt her with little stupid things and i did let her down.

 

I won't break this NC now i'm just wondering if any of you guys could give me some advice, i really would love to get back together but i do feel time away is what we need..

[PaintWithLight]

I am happy that you got some sense of peace despite breaking NC. You need to get out of the message relay arrangement that you have with your brother's GF. This situation could easily create new misunderstandings. NC means stopping all contact so you can sort your life out and regain your bearings and direction.

 

The relationship is over. She has said as much. You heard only the sections that gave you hope; ie couples counseling, great to talk with you, etc. The bottom line is what she buried in her message to your brother's GF: we just won't work and think he has realized that too.

 

Immediately throw yourself into new activity and new experiences. You have reset the clock to zero by breaking NC and now have a whole new of false memories and expectations to sort through. Accept that she has moved on and begin a new plan for your life!

[Personal]

Thanks for the reply i know breaking NC was hard i'm pleased we have ended on good terms, From my point of view which is cloudy it seems to me that she wants to be with me but right now isn't the right time and we both need time apart. I'm going to move on and i have felt alot better the last couple of weeks so hopefuly this will continue.

[Personal]

For anyone reading this breaking NC is the worst thing you could do, its put me back to square one despite it being a slihjtly positive outcome.

[Guitarguy_82]

For anyone reading this breaking NC is the worst thing you could do, its put me back to square one despite it being a slihjtly positive outcome.

 

Thanks for sharing your story, Personal. I've been contemplating breaking NC (it's been about 30 days) and as much as I want it to be a "nice" outcome, the fact that there's more of a chance it won't be has kept me quiet. I hate being at square one. If there's one thing NC has given me is some small bit of control back in my life.

 

Good luck to you, hope this new NC works out for you

[EmmaJ]

"I won't break this NC now i'm just wondering if any of you guys could give me some advice, i really would love to get back together but i do feel time away is what we need.."

 

Just tell her that.

[sandrawg]

Just because it didn't work for you, doesn't mean it won't work for ANYONE.

 

I, too, broke NC after 2.5 weeks, just to try to get closure, and to hear my ex's feelings, straight from HIM, did me a world of good. I did it for closure, and it definitely helped.

 

For anyone reading this breaking NC is the worst thing you could do, its put me back to square one despite it being a slihjtly positive outcome.

[Personal]

I suppose it could work for some people, for myself though i was starting to feel ok and like you can see it wasn't to bad of a reply i got to know shes hurting (which sort of helped knowing am not the only one) and that she still loves me, I feel though am back to square one this time last week i felt so much better. Guitarguy i wouldn't break the NC if i was you it does set you back alot. Again though it could work in your favour..

[Personal]

I think she knows this herself, time is a great healer.