What Women Want

[Lonewing]

Haha...We didn't really go off in that route, slapping was often met with spanking...slap a brother, get another...

 

But I think you handled him well!

[Silverbirch]

I really don't like having my bum spanked either. Only had one partner who did that and thought it was hilarious. I did make sure I spanked him back much harder, but he seemed to like that.

[Lonewing]

I really don't like having my bum spanked either. Only had one partner who did that and thought it was hilarious. I did make sure I spanked him back much harder, but he seemed to like that.

 

...Those type usually do...the spank fetish.

 

I have no use for it, personally.

[Silverbirch]

Yes, he was childish and I know now very unsophisticated as far as sex went.

[Silverbirch]

Lonewing, I'm thinking about getting a dvd on Tantric Love. Have you seen any of these? I only know about Tantric kissing and my current partner and I find it quite amazing.

[Silverbirch]

Carla, it is the first type of kiss she outlines here.

 

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I know this sounds very teenager-like, but I remember the first kiss with him VERY clearly and how that happened and sometimes it just appears in my mind. I can't remember that with anyone else.

[greywolf]

A thread like this is going to confuse men more because we all want different things! lol

 

The things that I like guys to do would probably earn him a slap with another girl and possibly even some jail time...

[Silverbirch]

Yes Greywolf, but they should be able to see we are all different, that you won't know what we are like until they put effort into getting to know us - same for us with them - and they might work out which type they prefer. The ex who used to like spanking might well have found his match with a woman who likes it, but it aint me.

[greywolf]

I suppose what I like most in a guy is flexibility. I like a whole sort of things and it's always changing and evolving and I need a guy that can adapt to that.

 

Before I talk about the things I like, keep in mind that when I say "a guy" I don't mean just any guy. I could only do these things with the right person.

 

I like dominating. I like it when a guy wants me to dominate him. I like it when a guy wants to dominate me. I was really into the whole Master/sub thing for awhile, but I am recently starting to like the Daddy/little girl dynamic as well.

 

I also like feeling like we own each other's bodies, like "no" is not an acceptable answer when it comes to sex. I also sometimes see pain as an expression of love.

 

I get super upset when I'm expecting sex and I don't get it. I cry and sulk for the longest time. I wish I was joking about that. It's pretty embarrassing.

[Silverbirch]

Greywolf, I saw a film MANY years ago - I think it was a French film and might have been called "The Story of O". At the time it was made - more than 30 years ago, there were a lot of probs having it passed through the censorship laws at the time. It might actually interest you, but it did really creep me out at the time. It is about a group of people who were a type of society who met up on weekends and they were bound by their sexual preference of dominance and submission -likely a lot more extreme than you are into. I do think it was a brave film for it's time with the subject matter. See if I can find a link.

[Silverbirch]

I see there are heaps of links to info about that controversial film. Here's a quick one which pretty much sums it up:

 

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As a very young woman, I was also freaked out by the film "Last Tango in Paris" with Marlon Brando in the lead. I thought he was gross.

[JonasWaingaro]

'Last Tango...' was really good though. Very interesting and well made.

[Silverbirch]

Hey Jonas,

Good to see you here. Yes, Brando was such a good actor he made me hate him in that film and also in Acopalyse Now.

 

Oh,the bath scene in particular grossed me out when I first saw it - was about 17 years old at the time.

[In the Dark]

I really don't like having my bum spanked either. Only had one partner who did that and thought it was hilarious. I did make sure I spanked him back much harder, but he seemed to like that.

 

I had an ex who really disliked being spanked as well.

I never grasped the concept of it but when I was first in a relationship years ago, I decided to give it a shot.

She ended up behaving like an angry, sulky child which had just been spanked for being naughty, it was bizarre, but then maybe that's what she solely relates spanking.

 

So that was my attempt and a memorable one.

 

Now I just sneak up and goose my partners for amusement.....honk!

[stickman]

Good communication outside the bedroom can lead to great communication inside the bedroom. Since every woman is different, feedback and commincation is critical.

Eye contact, breathing, body language are included with the spoken word. As is with the outside the bedroom world....it is the smallest of things that add up. Could be as small as a gentle touch or great foreplay to get the motor running first and not the ending at all. As in life, it is more about the journey for a woman, than the "happy ending" which many men focus too much on perhaps.

But....I am a guy. I can always learn more.

[Lonewing]

...Sounds like my kind fun... ;P Haha.

[Lonewing]

Lonewing, I'm thinking about getting a dvd on Tantric Love. Have you seen any of these? I only know about Tantric kissing and my current partner and I find it quite amazing.

 

Nope. I haven't been involved enough, though, to be too concerned yet.

[greywolf]

Greywolf, I saw a film MANY years ago - I think it was a French film and might have been called "The Story of O". At the time it was made - more than 30 years ago, there were a lot of probs having it passed through the censorship laws at the time. It might actually interest you, but it did really creep me out at the time. It is about a group of people who were a type of society who met up on weekends and they were bound by their sexual preference of dominance and submission -likely a lot more extreme than you are into. I do think it was a brave film for it's time with the subject matter. See if I can find a link.

 

I have heard of that movie, but I've never seen it. I'm not so much interested in the movie, but I wouldn't mind reading the book. I like it when stories go into what people are thinking or feeling. I was reading some of De Sade's stuff for awhile, but his writing style is just very bland and always talks about what people are doing and very rarely about what people are feeling, and I don't like that.

[Silverbirch]

Greywolf, when I was at uni, we studied Fouccault (not sure if that is the right spelling). We didn't get into the stuff he wrote about the pleasure/pain principle, and I haven't personally read the Marquis, but have read about him and his writings. Well, he's definitely proof that SM has had a cult-like following for a long time. At uni, I recall the tutor discussing various social views on incest and what we call paedophilia throughout history in various cultures. It almost turned my stomach, and the tutor laughed when she saw the expression on people's faces. It's all proof that we are all different,think differently, and want different things in our lives and with a partner.

 

With regard to what you find attractive in men - well, the man I am currently with is probably the most attractive physically and as a person I have known. He's 6 feet 2 inches and a hundred kilos, none of it fat with a beautiful face and eyes that change color from hazel to blue when he is happy. He claims nobody else had ever noticed or commented so I took photos as proof while he was in my bed! He could crush me his hands if he wanted - but it's knowing he wouldn't ever hurt me intentionally which draws me to him. It's the gentleness which I find I'm very drawn to. I suppose to me, he has a mixture of tough and gentle - and in a very down-to-earth way highly intelligent.

 

PS You might also like some Anais Nin (she mostly did short stories and her journals), but I think that a lot of her work focused more on exhibitionism/voyeurism.

[greywolf]

Greywolf, when I was at uni, we studied Fouccault (not sure if that is the right spelling). We didn't get into the stuff he wrote about the pleasure/pain principle, and I haven't personally read the Marquis, but have read about him and his writings. Well, he's definitely proof that SM has had a cult-like following for a long time. At uni, I recall the tutor discussing various social views on incest and what we call paedophilia throughout history in various cultures. It almost turned my stomach, and the tutor laughed when she saw the expression on people's faces. It's all proof that we are all different,think differently, and want different things in our lives and with a partner.

Was this in reference to the Daddy/little girl thing? For me, it has very little to do with pedophilia or incest. What I like about it is that it is an unequal power dynamic that can still be sweet. Humiliation and degradation don't have to be involved. I dunno... I just think it's really sweet. Though I realize that most people would describe it as creepy. >_>

[Silverbirch]

No it wasn't on anything specific, the intent was that he had his own views on society and sex, but a lot of people have challenged his theories and opinions. I tried to read direct translations of his work - but way too difficult for me (and probably a lot of other people). His views would be described by a lot of people as very liberal I think. The area of his work which we focused on was more to do with social control of people (to stop people speaking out against governments and people in power), especially through instutionalisation and monitoring.

 

Hey someone I thought was very interesting, though my ex who was a psychologist thinks was a nut, was William Blake the poet and artist.

[Sim54]

Anais Nin is fantastic. I'm always lending her books to girls, who seem to love them: The Delta of Venus and Little Birds are her erotic short story collections.

 

Also, check out Venus In Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

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The term sadomasochism is made up of the names of Sade and Masoch. Sade being concerned with hurting others, and Masoch in being hurt.

 

Venus in Furs is an extreme story about a man who sublimates himself to the woman he loves to a great degree, and was the inspiration behind the Velvet Undergrounds song of the same name.

 

I saw a documentary about a tribe somewhere, South America, or Africa who had a tradition of bringing all the children in the village who could crawl up to the age of 12 or 13 and telling them stories and parables. These stories often had sexual over tones. One in the doc was about the women of the village going to the river to wash clothes but being chased away by the water demon who had an enormous erect phallus, etc etc. The kids were rolling around laughing their heads off. These stories were carefully constructed education and the community had no sexual deviancy, no rape, not sex crimes, at least not in Western terms. We are all brought up differently, no?

[Silverbirch]

Hi Sim,

I read Delta of Venus a couple of years ago, and also for a while was reading her journals. At that time, I also found her flowery style of writing very readable - as well as the plots. I saw a movie called "Henry and June"which was one of Uma Thurman's very early films and she was excellent in it. The movie was about her marriage and her long-standing relationship with Henry Miller who also wrote erotic books. Thurman played Henry's wife in the film. Maybe I will read Venus in Furs to see what it is about.

 

Interesting about the doco. I've heard it said that "Little Red Riding Hood" originally had sexual overtones and was a type of educational parable.

 

Sim, not entirely erotica, but around the time I was reading Anais Nin, I also read quite a few short stories written by the French writer Collette, and there other French writers I was interested in as well. Finally, I got to read Simone De Beavoir "The Second Sex" who made a lot of commentary on French writers and major writers. I gather that De Beavoir and Anais Nin knew each other though they didn't like each other. Oh yes, I remember a writer who was amazingly talented,and perhaps Greywolf would like her (because she writes a lot about what she was thinking and feeling). The book was called "La Batarde" by Violet Le Duc, and she was discovered by De Beavoir and Satre. Have you heard of it? There were so many great writers and artists romping about Paris during that time. Do you know if there are any docos about Paris and the writers and artists 1930s-50's. Think there may have been something similar happening in Germany.

[Silverbirch]

I think the article at this link is interesting. It's called: "The Celebrated Stable of Clandestine Erotica Writers"and it gives some information about how an American Oil Billionaire who led an almost double-life commissioned various writers to write erotica for his private collection. Amongst those writers commissioned were Anais Nin, Henry Miller, both of Robert De Niro's parents and quite a few other writers. There are excerpts of quite an interesting letter by Anais Nin to the collector.

 

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[Sim54]

I've been meaning to get around to 'The Second Sex' as it's pretty much required reading I think, in this day and age.

I haven't heard of the Le Duc author, but I'll check her out.

I'm actually reading a funny book at the moment, (bit off topic here) called How to be an Existentialist. It's a philosophical self help book. Very funny, and lot's of mentions of de Beauvoir and Satre, who were friends/lovers at one time.

 

I don't know of any docos about that time. If I come accross anything, I'll let you know.