wrgs Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 i have a "friend" who contacts me whenever he needs some kind of advice. we have a bit of history, in which he used to like me but i'd rejected him. we took a break from communicating until i initiated it to ask him a question, strictly business. then he began to text me, leave me fb msgs occasionally just to say what's up, and to also tell me about his new lovely girlfriend. fine by me. now it's gotten to a point where i'm just annoyed because we don't contact each other to really "talk." it's just a "hey, how's it going?" every so often via some virtual communication/text. yet whenever he needs some relationship advice, he contacts me and goes on for hours and hours. i listen to him, which at first i didn't mind, but now it's become his habit to contact me solely for relationship issues and holiday greetings. i could tell him off, but i don't wish to do so. i've been curt and rude with him back when he used to follow me around due to his liking me, and i was not the friendliest person since he was annoying me then. i was a little nasty to him back then and i do feel some guilt from it, so i don't wanna repeat that again. that's mostly why i'm being all ears and giving him advice. he thanks me for being there for him and hearing him out. i also have another friend - a good friend i've known for 3-4 years who contacts me daily about her bf problems, and it's been this way since 2 years ago when she started dating her ex-husband. this is about 98% of the conversation. i was her bridesmaid for her 1st wedding so i wanna believe it's because we're close. we no longer talk of other fun things as much. it's all about her job and boyfriend complaints. with her other friends she talks of vacations, fun events but with me it's all this kind of talk. when she gets really busy she stops communicating except to complain or when she needs some help/advice. with her i've tolerated it since i've known her for long, but since i also lead a busy life, i'm getting pretty annoyed. is this normal? i'm trying to be understanding since i do know significant others are a major part of people's lives. on one hand, i appreciate them asking me advice for serious issues since it makes me think they somewhat value my opinion (interestingly enough, i'm not sure they even follow through with what i say....why even come to me then?) but on the other hand, i feel like i'm being used. i'm not some guru in all this either. i doubt i even have the right advice. i guess, in short, i'm getting pissed i'm contacted for one purpose by these 2 people. it's not that i don't want to help - i do, but am i not fun for other discussions? i'm more pissed with the 1st guy i mentioned since we're not even buddies or anything. do i just tell him off? is it my fault for being too nice to them? or am i being inconsiderate that i'm feeling this way? thanks in advance! Link to comment
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