Women making the first move: A yes or a no?

[Derek]

I think there is a difference between "making the first move"

and leaving an opening for the guy to make the first move...

 

Know what I mean?

 

What is "making the first move" anyway? Mere talking? eye contact? or is

it making out in the back seat? Is it exchanging numbers? or the first "coffee" date?

 

I think there is nothing wrong with either sex doing the first move,

it probably is best if the guy takes the initiative to finish the move though =)

 

I think it is true that usually it is the women that is the final decision maker on the start of the relationship, even though he may not think so...

She is the gatekeeper...

 

 

[ShroudedSorrow24]

I think its great when the girl makes the first move (assuming first move is kissing). As long as its not TOO soon or else she might be viewed as..u know

[eggs8]

I don't think it matters who makes the first move.

I always say you never know until you try.

[Mun]

This is a really good post Tinkerbell.

 

I think a real incentive for a girl to make the first move would be to get a good idea of how beneficial it really is. Has anyone had a relationship that lasted a long time and was initiated by the woman? What was the quality of that relationship? How was it that she made the first move ? did she ask for your number, ask you out or go up and introduce herself to you?

 

There is some good information here.

[drahcir]

I think a relationship should be initated by both partners who already appreciate, care for, think of, cherish, honor, respect each other

[OmegaMan]

Girls taking the first step is fine by my standards, albeit a bit surprising, hehe.

 

Then again, I suppose women do make the first step once in a while. They just do it in a more subtle kind of way.

 

RIGHT ON!

 

E.

[angrybeaver]

O GOD YES........ GIRLS IF U ARE READING THIS MAKE THEFIRST MOVE!!!!!! PLEASE

[fantasia2004]

no I disagree.

[joe45]

women apporaching men-woow i love it. never had a gal apporoach me. being shy and quiet women apporaching me would be tops.

i heard nightclubs and bars where great places for gals hittin on guys but i never been, have u guys seen this happen.

[1899]

Seeing how much courage and thought it would take to talk to somone of the opposite sex, if a girl came up and talked to me, Id automaticly know there was atleast 90-100% intrest level in me, so that would take a lot of guess work out of it for me and I could simply proceed. Assumming I liked her back......

 

But im learning that if you see somene your interested,try flirting with them a little, and if they seem to like you, just go make up small talk to him/her (dont think about it, YOU make the move) and let them decide by thier actions if they like you enough to proceed. Dont worry about rejection because It will work or it wont, If it does, great!, ask for a ph. number, if it dosent, cut off contact, (be nice though) move on the the next person and repeat process. Your only trying to get to know the person. Its akward but natural to be interested in someone.

 

As a woman (or guy) if you dont make the move, you will never know whether your crush likes you or not if your waiting for him to make a move, and you may be missing out on somthing that could be good for you, so just get it over with. It will make you a better person and if you keep at it you will find yourself a relationship!

[bored]

naw i disagree girls who make the first move are ok to just play around with..cause u never know if shes makin a move on another guy behind ur back (usually not the case with someone shy)

 

also wid a aggressive girl it takes the fun out of trying to get with her..its really like a game play it well and u'll get somewhere..

 

if u guys got skills or confidence then u wouldnt need the girl to make the first move

[1899]

Just because you asked her out first dosent change a thing in that regard. There still is always a chance she may be doing somthing behind your back maybe somone else asked her out and she didint mention you??

 

I DO know that if she asks me that she is trying to get somthing she wants. Once she gets you she may or may not like you so its up to you to fullfill her expectations of you else she moves on..Hey, you failed she gave you a chance to please her...

 

Well im not at the stage where i think its fun to try to get with a girl.I still think its nerve racking.But im working on that. I put my best foot forward and be myself. She either likes me or she dosent, no playing. Only fun after its been accomplished.

[swedeace]

I know that in my defense, it's not very often I search for guys. I rarely flirt, and I'm usually not interested in approaching guys I think are cute. I feel I'm not ready at this point in my life for any dating committments.

 

My scenario just happened almost as though when I saw this guy (who is now a friend of mine), and it felt like Cupid shot his arrow at me. It was like "bam!" Then, I fell weak in the knees and took baby steps up through when I asked him out. I tried it and sorta failed but only due to the fact of one tiny barrier. But I feel no shame. I learned I can do it....

[jack1234]

i like to chase girls....so i can see there booty....don't like girls too chase me cause then they think to highly of me....and despite appearances, i'm really not all that....i think i like lesbian

 

 

 

 

[Mun]

Jack I think you make an intersting point. Not about the booty part.. the second part.. if a girl chases you I would suppose it feels like "pressure to be someone you're not" who would want that?

[1899]

jack1234.....Well for her to be interested in you, you must have been doing somthing right. As far as im concerned just be yourself and dont be clingy.

 

muneca....You think if you approach someone that they are going to feel like they should be someone they are not? come on!

 

Just because your a girl, dosent mean you should just sit there and wait for the other person to do all the work. If you chase and they act as if they are just being nice to you then simply stop chasing, because nothing is there between you two. But someone has to make the first move. If you think you are really interested in someone, go for it!

[Mun]

I see your point, but what I really want to know is will this lead to anything? or will a guy just be flattered and be nice to you and that's it?

 

Have you had a relationship that started out this way? the girl going up to you? because it has NEVER worked for my friends.. that's why I won't do it plus I'm too shy with guys.

[Tinkerbell]

Muneca,

I think that it's quite possible that the woman making the first move can lead to a relationship, but depending on how the man felt about her in the first place. And it works the other way as well, it's quite possible that the MAN making the first move will result in a relationship, depending on how the woman felt about him beforehand. In the end, it seems to me that what really matters is whether or not the person on the 'receiving end' of the move views the other as just a friend or possibly something more.

[Mun]

That's what I don't understand Tinkerbell. How is it that it will "depend on how the man felt about her in the first place" when you are out at a club going up to a total stranger and saying hello. He doesn't know her from Eve how does he know what he "feels" yet?

 

It's a risk of rejection both ways, I just think that if a man approaches you then you know he is interested in knowing you. I wouldn't want a man to think I'm easy or that he can just "have some fun " with me because I approached him when he didn't show any interest in going up to me to begin with.

 

And by the way.. how many guys would think that a girl is easy or not take her serious if she is the one to come over and say" hello" first? Would you really ask her out and start something or just flirt back and keep it there? have you ever asked any of these girls out?

 

I just want some answers, maybe you can change my mind

[1899]

Tinkerbell pretty much summed it up. Yes in High school Ive had girls try to make moves on me. they would sit next to me and just start flirting, touching, etc. Most of the time because of the girls attitude and personality they got my full attention and unless they were just unattractive to look at I would have been more than happy to go out with them. Imean i was technically availible, why not?

 

Ive also been in a situation where i was doing the chasing but it was only one sided so i simply stopped calling. I figured she was only trying to be nice but wasent really interested, otherwise she would have shown up for a date we planned.

 

But if you dont try youll never know if someone would be willing to go with you or not. It may work out for you if you try

[Mun]

I'm sorry guys.. I'm just analytical.

 

Theory is nice I just want to see facts and figures...something real and concrete.

 

Sorry to disrupt your thread Tinkerbell.

[ForAnother]

It should be either way. But I would think that if a girl did it first a guy would then thing "Is she like this with alot of guys, because this is rare."

 

As a guy I would hate to be approached by a girl... perhaps because I don't like those kinds of personalities. Simply I would prefer to be the initiator but it is necessary that she come right back at me with it.

 

ForAnother

[Gunther]

I have only read the first few posts, but I would love it if a girl made the first move. I know some peopel think that guys should make the first move and that does have some truth to it, but what if he doesnt? Why should you not anitiate?

[shortstop543]

well my personal opinion is ummm......no i think the guy should all ways take the first step...bu thtats just me i mean i am old fashion so like the guys always asks, alwasy pays, and always calls but that is just me

[red12]

Well back in the day when I was a little shyer I would want the girl to make the move. But now I think I would do it. This girl I am seeing right now changed me alot and im glad she did. Cause I learned alot of things.