SarahRose Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 Aggression does not work with these children it actually makes that much worse. I have ADHD and I got the occasional swat when I needed it and yes it did work. So yes it does work. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 Not with all of them and especially not with kids who are Oppositional Defiant , corporal punishment backfires a lot. Not everyone believes in corporal punishment. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I modify the curriculum for them to suit their own needs and style in which they learn. A teacher should not have to change the whole class just for one child. I understand if she gets distracted, etc, but I think the defiance thing should not be dismissed as a "disorder." I think that is just her personality and maybe there is just a different way to teach her about the consequences of her behavior. I believe it is a tendency, but I don't think it should be rolled over on. I have a cousin who works with special needs and she has several ADD/ADHD kids in her special ed class. Not all day, but just for an hour or two a few times a week to help them out, as they get a small group but time one on one individually with an assistant or the teacher. I had problems in school also and my parents remedied it by putting me in a smaller school. Does your area have a parochial school, waldorf or montessori? Even if it is not your particular faith, there were kids in my school who were not that denomination, and they thrived having the small class size, the attention and the rules and boundaries. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 What Karliah was saying was she changes THAT child's programme not the entire class. My son has his own personal learning programme, the members of his class that don't follow the class plan. That is what she is saying. I think people are not seeing there are two very distinct disorders here ADHD AND ODD. They are different but they are comorbid a lot of the time. As far as corporal punishment with someone who is ODD if you smack them around you can progress their disorder into a conduct disorder or anti social disorder. 50,30 years ago smack the kids around was the answer to everything. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 OP, be sure you know the laws also. When I was first diagnosed my school did not want to give me any extra help and it wasn't until she cited the law to them that they finally started giving me what I need. Google "Section 504" its part of the Americans With Disabilities Act. My teacher in 3rd grade wanted to take a seminar on how to teach kids with Learning Disabilities but my school wouldn't pay for it. My Dad ended paying for it without the school knowing. I don't want to throw schools/teachers under the bus but sometimes you will have to fight them to get what your child need. Please check out the link I posted earlier. F.A.T. City Workshop is a great program for parents and teachers. Link to comment
Alpine Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 A teacher should not have to change the whole class just for one child. I don't change the curriculum for the whole class... I alter tasks to suit THAT specific child's programme. In fact, it ultimately HELPS the entire class because the child with the individual learning plan stays more consistently focused on their individual task, and the rest of the children aren't distracted by their behaviour. It is my responsibility to create individualised learning plans for children who may have difficulty learning in any way - I just don't cater for the 'middle ground' in a classroom, I cater for each and every single child. What Karliah was saying was she changes THAT child's programme not the entire class. My son has his own personal learning programme, the members of his class that don't follow the class plan. That is what she is saying. Precisely! My teacher in 3rd grade wanted to take a seminar on how to teach kids with Learning Disabilities but my school wouldn't pay for it. My Dad ended paying for it without the school knowing. I don't want to throw schools/teachers under the bus but sometimes you will have to fight them to get what your child need. Great idea. You, as a parent, should start going to seminars about your child's learning difficulties because not only will you learn new things but you might meet parents in similar situations. BUT ALSO your teacher might have the opportunity to attend seminars on the topics, and the school should pay for it for her. Do you know how the teacher is feeling about the whole thing? Is she concerned/seem stressed? Or is she hopeful that your daughter is getting there and will start to integrate and settle in as her schooling goes on? Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 I commend you for all the work that you've done and continue to do with your daughter. Unless you've gone through this with a child, you really can't understand it. I agree 100%. There is no quick fix to helping a child with special needs. This isn't a matter of a child choosing to be "bad" or "bratty" or the result of poor parenting.... it is a form of disability/developmental impairment that has been deemed clinically significant by professionals with expertise in child development (pediatricians, psychologists, education personnel) has to be addressed carefully and properly. ADHD might be over-diagnosed but that doesn't mean that some kids really don't suffer from it. ODD isn't nearly as over-diagnosed, and I believe that if OP has been told her child has ODD, it is safer to assume it to be true rather than to write it off and blame her parenting abilities instead. Physically hitting a child with special needs is not going to help. You will just have a child with the same disabilities ,that is also scared of being hit- which will make it worse. It's a horrible equation leading to abuse that will do emotional damage, even more so than for a typical child. Also, if your child does not currently exhibit violent tendencies, hitting him or her will now teach that negative behavior and they might do it to someone else. Then they will be expelled from school and have a worse outcome. OP, it I am glad that you requested an IEP for your child. A teacher does not have to change the entire class for one child, but must make sure that the individual child gets what he/she needs by adapting the curriculum where appropriate (that goes for kids with and without IEP's- children are not robots. Teachers are trained to address a vartiety of learning styles and a good teacher will make academic adjustments when necessary). Hopefully if your child has an IEP, a special education teacher and general education teacher can collaborate to figure out the best way to meet your child's learning needs within the most inclusive, least restrictive environment. Hang in there. You sound like a great mom who is doing all she can do for her child. You know her best and as long as she has you advocating for her, she will be ok in life. Just don't forget to take care of yourself in the process too. . Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 I agree with Bella, you ARE doing a great job. I know you are frustrated ( I am the mother of an special needs child as well) and it IS frustrating and it IS hard to get people to listen to you and co operate. It is also normal to be frustrated with her. You don't have to feel guilty. I understand your despair. I used to cry and get upset and feel guilty and feel bad for my son and wonder how this horrible thing had happened to him. This is all normal. Really, it is. It is also normal to wonder how someone can be so bright and not be able to have that reflected because of disability. That still pains my heart for my son. Just keep being the great advocate for her that you are. Keep going because you can't give up and it DOES get better and easier. Also too there will be people who "get it" and people who won't. That is just life. Link to comment
mari2mila Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 How about the paddle? That seemed to work pretty good for most children. Didn't need expensive medications, doctors, expensive shrinks to tell parents to discipline their children. You would think. And, many people have suggested this. But, my daughter is not trying to be naughty. She wants to do the right thing, but her body reacts faster than her mind has time to process!! Beating your child doesn't equal good behavior. She's received some spankings, but with the ODD, she could care less anyway. So, I don't really resort to violence, because it would just make things worse anyway. Link to comment
mari2mila Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 Thanks for your story. It really does help to hear that there's light at the end of the tunnel! PERSEVERANCE is my M.O. Link to comment
mari2mila Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 I will ask about this at our next Dr. visit. Thanks for the tip. Link to comment
mari2mila Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 Good for you. But, it's not for everyone. Not for my girls. Link to comment
mari2mila Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 What Karliah was saying was she changes THAT child's programme not the entire class. My son has his own personal learning programme, the members of his class that don't follow the class plan. That is what she is saying. I think people are not seeing there are two very distinct disorders here ADHD AND ODD. They are different but they are comorbid a lot of the time. As far as corporal punishment with someone who is ODD if you smack them around you can progress their disorder into a conduct disorder or anti social disorder. 50,30 years ago smack the kids around was the answer to everything. Thank you Victoria66! I think there are some people who came accross this thread who understand what I'm referring to. The ODD really is the thing that makes it worse. I know that my daughter will hum, wiggle, whistle, tap, etc. in the classroom to try and keep her body still. Although those things may distract the others, it makes me proud to know she's really trying to do the right thing. But, the oppositional side really just magnifies the other issues. She HATES experiencing any kind of change, and severely rebels against it. She had a 3-week sub and acted out so much so, that the teacher has never experienced those kinds of things from her. Standing on the table, locking the sub out of the room. Then, magically, when her actual teacher returned from leave, she's an angel. Helpful, sweet DD is back. We laugh sometimes about her being a ball of fire, but it's a big problem. She's so smart, but the school did want the IEP last year. The only reason it didn't go through was because she was so good at the beginning of the year when I was still at home with her much of the day. I'm a single parent, which I know is a stressor in regards to time spent together, but everyone that knows me, knows that my girls are my first priority. Link to comment
mari2mila Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 OP, Please check out the link I posted earlier. F.A.T. City Workshop is a great program for parents and teachers. I did look it up, and it brought tears to my eyes. I want to read the guy's books too now. Thank you for sharing that. I wonder if the teacher has seen it before... It may be worthwhile to purchase it for the school even. Link to comment
mari2mila Posted January 30, 2012 Author Share Posted January 30, 2012 Do you know how the teacher is feeling about the whole thing? Is she concerned/seem stressed? Or is she hopeful that your daughter is getting there and will start to integrate and settle in as her schooling goes on? I think her teacher is hopeful, and probably stressed too. She is an experienced teacher who is firm and has a sense of humor. She has very good rapport with the parents at the school, so I think we got the right fit! Everyone is cheering for my daughter to succeed. And, aside from all the things she's done, I know for sure they really like her as well. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 My son does not like change either. He has given many a substitute a run for their money. He has rebelled a lot in his life. I know your pain. He is such a bright boy, but has so many issues. ADHD ODD OCD , Hearing Processing Disorder and Dysgraphia (which means he can not write) and he is in the autistic spectrum. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I did look it up, and it brought tears to my eyes. I want to read the guy's books too now. Thank you for sharing that. I wonder if the teacher has seen it before... It may be worthwhile to purchase it for the school even. The part where he talks about Fairness is so enlightening to me. But the part the really makes me cry is when, less than an hour into treating these adults like they have LDs, he starts yelling at one of the woman to name a story with a duck in it and she just can't come up with one. I don't know if he is still giving seminars but you would try to contact him and see if he would come to your child's school to give one. That is, if the teachers would be willing to attend. It would be worth looking into. Link to comment
Alpine Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 I think her teacher is hopeful, and probably stressed too. She is an experienced teacher who is firm and has a sense of humor. She has very good rapport with the parents at the school, so I think we got the right fit! Everyone is cheering for my daughter to succeed. And, aside from all the things she's done, I know for sure they really like her as well. Well that is fantastic You are very lucky to have such a great teacher! I'm sure your teacher understand that often school is a turbulent transition for children like your daughter. She sounds hopeful that things will settle down and I'm sure they will. Keep doing a fantastic job! Link to comment
Madar Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Hi You posted on here about your daughter in 2012. I found your post when desperately looking for advice. Would you be able to let me know about an update, advice....I AM GOING THROUGH ALMOST EXACT SITUATION.WITH MY 6 YEAR OLD. I hope this message reaches you. Link to comment
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