1 year NC with Ex Girlfriend.

[GaelicSoul]

Vow! Gaelicsoul, I am in my 7th month of NC after breakup and I passed through similar experiences (except it was not Asia where I went). So I hope that I will reach your state of mind one day.

You give inspiration. Thank you...

 

Thank you MrTango!

 

Your doing good mate!! Keep it up, and keep yourself busy!!!!!! It's the only way to take your mind off the breakup. You will have your bad days, and God knows i had enough of them. Your on the greatest learning journey of your life right now, and always remember to turn a negative into a positive....What have you learnt from this..what will i do in future.....what do i deserve....What is it i want. Keep telling yourself this.

 

Things are not always as they seems, so all you can do is live your life to the best of your abilities and be a real man and keep going.

 

Here's a little secret that works. If your religious or not it doesn't matter.. But prayer or Law of attraction really works and is more or less the same. Go somewhere you can be alone and at peace, clear your mind and ask for help or guidance or what you desire, and visualize in your mind what you want. Leave it all out and you will be very surprised what will happen. Keep your eyes and ears open. Good things are in store for you dude. I will post an update soon, as i have recently met somebody new and incredible, and has left me smiling non stop as im writing this...

 

More to follow...

[GaelicSoul]

Hi All,

 

This is just a little update to let you know how things have been going for me. Well i have been busy the last few weeks, as i finally got a job. It's with a really big company, so i was suprised i got the job, but very happy. It's a really cool working enviornment, and very professional, compared to my last job. And i'm making lots of new friends. I also found myself a wonderful apartment, so i can finally move out of the hostel after 3 months lol! Australia is expensive folks, espcially if your starting from scratch like it did.

 

Other notes, i gave up Cigarettes. I haven't smoked in 2 months. Lately i have noticed that lots of people have been coming to me for advice, even on relationships/breakups!!?! Ok... Well im glad to give advice.

 

I feel happy, and i also recently met a beautiful wonderful woman, however it's a bit of a problem though....As she is from Germany, and has recently moved home.... But thats an issue for another forum

 

Anyway, its amazing how much things can change in a year, if you want it too.

 

Never rely on other people for your happiness. Stay focused on what you want, and be true to yourself. Once your honest with yourself, you will never go wrong.

 

I dont think about my Ex much these days anymore. I hope shes doing ok with her life, and i don't wish any ills against her.

 

I found closure in myself, and became a better stronger wiser man out of the whole episode.

 

 

I am happy.

[Guitarguy_82]

Anyway, its amazing how much things can change in a year, if you want it too.

 

Never rely on other people for your happiness. Stay focused on what you want, and be true to yourself. Once your honest with yourself, you will never go wrong.

 

I dont think about my Ex much these days anymore. I hope shes doing ok with her life, and i don't wish any ills against her.

 

I found closure in myself, and became a better stronger wiser man out of the whole episode.

 

 

I am happy.

 

My god....this is amazing...

Truly one of the most incredible stories I have read on this site.

 

You, sir, are an inspiration.

[dumPI]

Another great thread on how no matter how hard it is we should keep NC and move on. The alternative is always HARDER.

[GaelicSoul]

Just a little update..........

 

 

 

Well I have met someone new in the last few months, when I least expected to.

 

She is so beautiful, smart, caring, funny, positive, adventurous, sexy, and knows what she wants in life.

 

It's early days, but we are falling in love with each other.

 

That heavy feeling of pain and sadness of missing my ex is all but a memory now.

 

I'm older, stronger and wiser.

 

We are taking things slow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life goes on.

[triste0508]

ohh man you made me cry reading your story and updates !!!

 

I booked a trip to Brazil for 2 months to saty with my family ....and I am kind of scard ....but you gave me some hope in my healing and future !!

[Divine010]

Gaelic,

 

I am happy to hear that you have over comed so many obstacles. But may I ask where are you originally from to go to Australia and start you life over is amazing. I live in the states and I may move down south, but to another country, that will be a big leap for me. You kind of remind of myself. I had being in a funk and feeling down, it's just not my make up, but when me and my ex of 2 1/2 years broke up this year (Feb 2012), I still have my bad days. But I know good days are ahead. I just found out he is talking to someone else and it's only been 2 months. This set me back alot today. I like to take the high road and Heal from my realtionship on my own rather than jump into a new one. And the less I think about how he could just jump into another one or even move on so fast, the better I can let go. To be honest, I think it's immature and selfish and kind of shallow for people to jump into another relationship without second guessing it. But hey people are people. Your story truly inspired me and I know that I will get over this and be in a much better and happier place. Sometimes I wish bad things on him, but then again, I don't want to put anything bad out there in universe. I strongly believe that God has someone or something better for me. All that I went through, can not possible go in vain. I keep telling myself. I am strong and I will be in a better place! I am happy to hear about all of your positive success. And that knowing that you happiness is not in the hands of NO MAN or WOMEN but from within! God Bless and keep us posted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life goes on.

[GaelicSoul]

ohh man you made me cry reading your story and updates !!!

 

I booked a trip to Brazil for 2 months to saty with my family ....and I am kind of scard ....but you gave me some hope in my healing and future !!

 

Hi triste0508,

 

White it may seem hard right now, believe me you will pull through this. Take your time to process how you are feeling. Your going through an emotional roller-coaster, but like all roller coasters they eventually come to a stop Some are longer than others. Once you get off, you will begin to feel normal again. I hope you have a great time in Brazil, sounds like fun! Don't be afraid enjoy the adventure and be proud of yourself.

[GaelicSoul]

Hi Divine,

 

Thank you for your kind comments. To answer your question, I'm Irish As you may have read, my country's economy hasn't being doing well, due to greedy bankers and our government selling out it's own people. It's in a huge mess.

 

My career was in a rut. I was working with the same company for 6 years, and while at first promising, the atmosphere got toxic when the financial meltdown kicked in. Managers, who had no experience in dealing with crises, turned on their staff. Lots of backstabbing, and * * * * * ing, and incompetent managers, job cuts, terminations, and workplace bullying. My workload was doubled, and no extra resources were hired. My quality of life was miserable, and often worked 60+ hours a week. Not getting paid for the overtime either, as were my colleagues. I no longer enjoyed what I was doing.

 

But I prevailed, and was loyal to the company. But It got so bad in the end, I just had enough. When you are getting brought up over every little thing, and no encouragement and resolutions from the business end, I said to myself I'm 28, I have more than enough experience now on my CV and it's time for a change. I don't think they expected me to leave. Had i stayed i would of ended up taking a massive pay cut (again) and an extra workload. It felt like prison.

 

It was a risk leaving a paying job in a recession, however I didn't have responsibilities like a child, wife, or mortgage. It was my plan to travel abroad for career purposes when with my Ex. But then the opportunity finally presented itself, and I took it. With what savings I had, I bought a plane ticket and packed my backpack to off on the greatest adventure of my life.

 

I cannot recommend enough in doing travelling. Please Listen to your gut! Ignore the begrudger s, and believe me as you well know, there is plenty people out there who will try and knock you down, and try and convince you that your crazy to go.

 

Listen to your gut.

 

Be honest with yourself and your desires.

 

Go travelling.

 

You will learn to rely on yourself, sharpen your senses, because you have too. No longer being in your safe comfort zone can be scary at first, but the funny thing is, there is so many people like you out there doing the same thing. Soon you will meet new interesting people like I did, and you get used to it. Then it no longer is scary, and you open your eyes to endless possibilities.

 

Your ex is gone. He is not in your life now. It's a horrible experience, and i know it all too well. But what's for you, wont pass you in life.

 

Show him and everyone what your made of. This is now your time.

[GaelicSoul]

Well it happened.

 

I never thought i would hear from my Ex GF again, then today i saw two emails in my inbox from my ex. I have been moving on with my life, and i'm happy, however it was a shock to see them.

 

Both emails were sent very late in the morning, so it's obvious from reading them she was drinking. We live in different countries now on the other side of the world.

 

Both emails were both or less the same, the story is my email account a few months ago was compromised, and sent a random spam mail to all my contacts, which she was in. She just messaged to say she hadn't checked her old email account in ages, and also that she she was sorry etc that it took so long to reply, and didn't know if i wanted her to with the spam mail i sent. Then it ended with a just a hope your well etc..

 

So there you go. After NC 18 months silence was broken. Will i reply, no. Breadcrumbs??? I don't know. How do i feel....Indifferent.....

 

Had i got this 12 months ago i would have jumped and cried... Now i feel moved on and heeled, and in love with someone new...still, I'm surprised

[discouraged]

I've always wondered, what does GIGS mean?

[GaelicSoul]

It's (Grass is greener syndrome) It's a one size fits all term used for certain type of breakups. There is plenty of posts on it.

[discouraged]

OHHHH I've seen both, but always separate and never put 2 and 2 together. now it all makes sense haha thanks

[GaelicSoul]

Little update Dec 12.

 

Well it's now almost 2 years since my Ex GF left me. In those 2 years of an emotion roller coaster I can now say I'm at total peace with myself. I travelled, had the time of my life, and got myself a new job. I'm much happier as a man, and since I came home, my friends have ALL noticed how much i have changed. And as per my previous posts, I found a new GF who is much more beautiful inside and outside. This year we are spending our first Christmas together.

 

I know all of you will get there too some day. There is no magic bullet that removes the pain of loss or betrayal instantly. But hang in there, trust yourself and most of all be honest. Live the life you want, no others. Once you can look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and smile because you're a good person, then life becomes a lot easier.

 

I have no idea what my Ex is doing with her life, her pedestal has long been removed.

 

My close family, best friends and the girl I love are the most important people to me. Do not take crap or disrespect from anyone, and please don't reward bad behaviour from those that have hurt you.. If someone messes you over, then move on with your life without them. Then your life gets better and happier.

[clochard]

@GaelicSoul. Thank you so much for your inspiring post. It really gives hope and perspective. And i am so happy for you that you are in a better place.

I am female, and my (younger by 8 years) boyfriend ended it 4 weeks ago, because he did not want to commit to me. I know that he is in a different life phase, he just ended his Ph.D and i was his first girlfriend. At the end he said he never loved me, which hurt a lot as i put a lot of energy into this relationship.

 

But i booked yesterday a flight to New Zealand for March, far away from the island i am living on I will learn how to be happy on my own, and not putting the happiness into other people. I still feel so sad every night and every morning, but life has thrown me this lesson and i will take it and will make the best of it. I hope one day i will be where you are, a truly happy person, seeing the good and the bad in herself.

[GaelicSoul]

Thanks clochard, I'm glad my story helps. You might not think this now, but it's the best thing that could happen to you. I mean that. This is your chance to do whatever you want, and congratulations on booking your flight. I'm not saying everyone should bag their bags after a breakup and move away But travelling and trying new things does help. You are well on your road to recovery, and a new you. It will have many up's and downs, but remember...when going through hell...keep going!

 

Make sure to start doing things you never did before, and challenging yourself. The anger, sadness, loneliness, and stress will all disappear in good time. Talk to your friends and family, and learn to enjoy being single now. Make a better you. Your ex doesn't know what he lost. I know you will meet a great guy someday, that's only if you want to

[Limiya]

This gave me hope that the pain will pass one day. I just have to keep pushing through it.

I'm so pleased you're in a much better place now.

 

Limiya

[GaelicSoul]

This gave me hope that the pain will pass one day. I just have to keep pushing through it.

I'm so pleased you're in a much better place now.

 

Limiya

 

Thanks Limiya, keep thinking positive, and surround yourself with positive friends and people. One day you will wake up, and that pain will have faded into memory. Focus on yourself now, and not on the other person. It's all about healing at your own pace. If you make mistakes, it's ok. You are human. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keeping going. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

[sportsguy9981]

I've been waiting to hear that on this message board, there is a light at the of the tunnel, for a very long time. Thanks you made my day.

 

What was it like traveling alone? Thats something I wasnt sure if I wanted to do much because I always traveled with someone else.

Also was it expensive to go the places you did? I enjoy doing new things but I cant spend thousands of dollars doing it.

[GaelicSoul]

Happy New Year everybody!