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discouraged

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Everything posted by discouraged

  1. I got your message, you're ready to move on, but why? why is it so easy for your but this difficult for me? how did you forget everything about us all of a sudden and now ready to move on with your life? please tell me the secret because i need to get over this too. You've told me that when you break up with someone, you always wanted them to come trying to win you back. Is this the same? do you want me to come running back to you and try? when we broke up, you came running back and tried very hard to get back with me. I know i have flaws, but those flows could easily be fixed. so why is it that you gave up on me? please tell me your secret so i can finally give up on you
  2. Day 7, i broke it just right now. I messaged her on Facebook and said "Im sorry for the way I acted during the break up. I should not have tried to convince you otherwise if you felt it was the best thing to do. I now know there are many things I need to take care of at the moment, so I agree with you that it was for the best for both of us. I wish things would have been different, but I know that will never happen as I am currently. I’m sure you have some hostility towards me after the split, so I will respect that and give you ample amount of space. You’ve always been the exception to every rule I’ve ever followed, and it still is true. I know I’ve told you that once I break up with someone, that’s it, but you’re different. I will always care for you and if you ever need anything from me, please don’t hesitate to reach me. Maybe one day down the line, after we’ve both grown, we could catch up. However, until that day comes, I will be focusing on my self-improvement to become a man and not the boy I’ve been in recent years. You’re an amazing girlfriend and woman; I was a fool to lose you. I know you’ll find an amazing guy that can meet all of your expectations and provide for you in the way that I couldn’t. I wish you luck and true happiness. -(My name) I messaged her because it was eating me up inside. Im not expecting a response ever, but i felt that i needed to message her. I feel 10 times better, like weight has been lifted off my shoulders. if somehow, she unfriends me, so be it. I feel like it was part of my closure because i believe, that if you truly love someone, you must let them know how you feel and fight for them to the best of your abilities. Im glad i messaged her, i think i can finally start letting go
  3. This is the first weekend since our BU. How've you been? Have you even thought about us? about me? I know that you've been going out and partying all the time... did you already find someone else? All I've been doing is studying for school, reading books to learn about programming, and be depressed every night. Ive been keeping an eye on my phone just in case you call, especially if you're ever in trouble. however, i know you're never going to call. Id be the LAST person you'd ever contact again if you are ever in trouble... but why? how did it end up like this? If you wanted to break up with me, why did you not mention anything to me until it was over? I broke it off with you a few times, but you wouldn't let me go. how did you all of a sudden change your mind? i have lots of questions and thoughts running through my mind and every night/morning, it gets ridiculously hard... how can you just forget about me? when did i stop being an importance to you? i just hate how you dragged it out this far... it makes me wonder if you ever really cared about me, or just wanted me there to support you because you were going through difficult times throughout the relationship. It was only recently where your life turned around for the better, but that means you should leave me behind? the one who took care of you everyday you were crying? especially those times you felt you had no friends, but i was able to plan a surprise thing for you with some of your friends??? its been 7 days since we broke up/NC, and I'm still frustrated and depressed. I miss you like crazy and keep hoping every morning you'd text me or drunk text me one night... I'm hopeless
  4. Day 3 Today was very productive. Picked up a 3rd person for my business venture, now i just gotta buy my plane tickets for boston and chicago. However, the times i thought about my ex, tons of anger and sadness rushed through me. why was i getting angry thinking about my ex? because i started to realize just how much of a hypocrite she was. She didn't have the drive and determination to find a successful job, she was jumping from job to job trying to find something she liked. her current "success" is an illusion that she believes because she didn't earn it, she just got super lucky. it can be taken away if she messes up once, and it'll be downhill from there. A part of me wishes it so she can be taken off of her high horse and realize her flaws, hopefully. After her current "success" she has no plans for the future. so what the eff? she said i had an idea of what i wanted to be, but didn't know how to get there. she herself is in the same damn boat... she has an idea of opening up a factory for shoes in the future, but has no idea on how to do it... I DONT GET IT!!! Ive had lots of anger today, sorry to rant...
  5. Day 2 Ok, i started out the day in a panic because i dreamt of my gf introducing me to a new bf... -_- great way to start the day... then i had to go to the beach for a work event, but i was depressed the whole time... that sucked. The whole way back i started reminiscing about the relationship and became worse =( Afterwards, i had dinner with a friend who's been trying to hang out with me to try to make me better. I vented to him and he kept trying to encourage me and remind me that i shouldn't rush trying to improve myself because I'm just gonna mess up if i do. I should take my time and do things right. I agreed and started to plan for my future again (I'm planning on starting a business venture with him this summer). That planning portion made me forget my sadness for a while and made me feel better. I started to think about posting "Ill be heading to boston and chi town this summer for business meetings" but realized thats petty and will stay away from Facebook until i know for sure that I'm good. On the way home, i began to feel happy that i broke up with my ex, but as soon as i got home, i got worse because my parents are going through a break up (father cheated on mother). Sigh... i hope tomorrow is a better day
  6. I like this challenge and will accept. DAY 1
  7. I know you broke up with me because I didn't have enough drive and determination to become successful in life, but i want to tell you that I have it now and I've never been so determined as I am now. Im pissed that you admitted i actually did change instantly after you brought up the reason of why you wanted to break up with me, but said its too late. Well now, I've been constantly trying to come up with something and to this day, I still hope you reach out to me and reconcile, but i know you're too prideful to do that and will never contact me ever again. Was I that horrible to you that i don't deserve more time? When you had such a rough time with school, family, AND work, i was there for you 24/7. I tried to get your mind off of it by taking you out, but now that you've become successful, i believe thats why you changed. I hate how money came into the picture and all you thought about now was how I'm not making nearly as much as you. Yes, i work part time and a part time student, while others out there are full time at both, but I'm working banking hours which does not let me get the engineering classes i need to take because those are only offered in the afternoon. Im pissed that you don't see it that way and only see it as me half-assing my life. Not everyone could be lucky like you and had your parents pay for your school and housing. I have to pay for my own way through school and survive on my own. Yes, i live at home, but you know my family is having financial problems and my parents don't even talk anymore ever since my dad cheated on my mom. Who knows how much longer they'll live under the same house... They can't help me because they have their own problems to deal with. Why couldn't you stay with me? what don't you see in me that you're looking for out there? you said i treated you right and taught you that there are guys out there like me that aren't jerks. Yet you still leave me in the dust? all of the sacrifices I've made for you didn't matter? This sucks balls knowing that you could just forget about me because you don't need me anymore to help you when you're down because you're sooo successful now. I seriously don't wish anything bad to happen to you but I'm not gonna lie, i am rooting for the day that you lose you're job just so this way i can see how you'd react when you're down in the dumps again. Im pissed at you and pray for one day i become so successful that you see my name on every corner you turn on just it becomes a reminder of what you * * * * ing gave up on.
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