stevef20 Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Well, its 1 year today since she broke my heart, I'm home alone tonight, feel numb inside, memories rush through my mind, I'm Sooo very sad, my heart is heavy and I feel tears streaming down my face. I lay here on my bed wondering how she is, if she's happy and enjoying life, I certainly hope she is, I want her to be happy, boy how I miss her still though. I know these things take time and I know ill continue to heal but for today, for now I'm going to allow myself this sadness, I'm going to cry myself to sleep and hope tomorrow is a better day. Thank you all for support Steve Link to comment
deeplongbreath Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Awww Steve, my heart goes to you! e-hugs Link to comment
butterflyburn Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Steve, one year is a long time... hug Link to comment
Day88 Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Steve, you'll get there mate. You know more than anyone that sometimes you can't simply turn these dark and sad feelings off so your doing the next best thing and acknowledging them rather than bottle them up. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you buddy. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 Thanks guys, you're words mean a lot. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 a year of ups and downs...highs and lows. a year of LIFE. it happens sometimes...if we're lucky. we get to actually live through things...instead of numbing out into complacency forever. a year isn't so long. but i bet the whole thing feels strange and surreal right now. i remember the one year mark for myself. as much as i'd healed and moved on...there was still a massive heap of letting go to do. it happened...bit by bit. always little pieces at a time. year two saw a lot more growth...mostly because of a choice to move forward. the mourning period ended...and life sort of started anew. you'll find that day, steve. it will come. things will feel fresh again. you have much to look forward to. glad you're here sharing your sadness though. it's important. onward!!!! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 Thanks 90, its nice to hear from an experienced head that this is normal behaviour, I'm very grateful that you stopped by. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 I'll echo 90 and say it's normal to still be processing things after a year, especially on the 'day'. It's okay to be sad and cry today. That's normal. You just have to remember how far you have come, how much you have healed. It's okay if you have more healing to go, I did at a year as well. Keep moving forward and you'll be okay. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 Thanks Jonas, I'm glad its ok to cry like a baby, feels natural to let it out today. Link to comment
OrangeMoon Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Oooh..sending you a warm hug. I know it hurts..but let it out. Tomorrow is a new day..and then you will focus again on the positive in your life. Go out tomorrow take a stroll, breath the air, have some coffee in a cafe or meetup with friends. It will be ok..there will come day where you will not remember THE DAY anymore and find yourself realizing that the 'anniversary' has past without you paying it any mind. It will happen.. Let it out.. and once again..the warmest hug for you Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 Ahhh, thanks Orange, a hug at this time is very welcome. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Thanks Jonas, I'm glad its ok to cry like a baby, feels natural to let it out today. Oh for sure it's normal and healthy. Getting sadness and grief out is good. Makes ya feel better. So let it all out. Then do as OrangeMoon says in her post. Link to comment
deeplongbreath Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 You know Steve, I've been crying a lot yesterday and it was my 11 months BU anniversary (although I didn't know so in the first place), but today I really feel better. Crying is human, it's healthy! Better cry than make a cancer, believe me! People here on ENA understand how you feel, so you'll never ever be alone Link to comment
peterepeat Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 be strong my friend i know its hard im in the same boat the year mark is coming up for me too. Link to comment
lord voldemort Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Well, its 1 year today since she broke my heart, I'm home alone tonight, feel numb inside, memories rush through my mind, I'm Sooo very sad, my heart is heavy and I feel tears streaming down my face. I lay here on my bed wondering how she is, if she's happy and enjoying life, I certainly hope she is, I want her to be happy, boy how I miss her still though. I know these things take time and I know ill continue to heal but for today, for now I'm going to allow myself this sadness, I'm going to cry myself to sleep and hope tomorrow is a better day. Thank you all for support Steve you won't believe but its also exactly 1 year today since i had a breakup with my ex..!!.. i can understand ver well that how you must be feeling.. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Thanks guys, your an amazing bunch of people. Link to comment
O-shen Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Hey mate, had not heard from you for a while, figured things must of been going smoothly. Like others have said, its all about ups and downs, and slowly having more ups than downs. I think its been about 8 months for me, and yeah i am still not over it, alot of which is my own stupid fault..... Keep ya head up buddy, i get pretty down on things sometimes too still, then i realise i should be grateful for what i do have. You have your own child which is a joy i know you love, and you even have him on new years!!! ( lol..i read that post, nice one haha, for the record, i was hearing ya). Christmas, ugh, over it already. Link to comment
Nugs Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Like the "Dear Heart....." at the bottom of your posts O-shen! I have been amazed at how "mere" emotions or thoughts in the brain can produce such strong physical symptoms in your heart, stomach, whole body. Steve, let it out - I've cried more in the last 3 months than the rest of my life put together - including when I was a baby, I'm convinced of it! This is not a great time of year for it, is it?! All the best, N. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Hi O'shen, good to hear from you mate, im sorry youre still struggling too, we were told all those months ago that things will take time, im just not sure we thought it would be this long, i for one have accepted that its going to take forever to get over this girl and beacuse of that im ok most of the time and even manage a smile occasionally, i really hope you are feeling at the very least the same. This is a mighty tough time of year and as you know now if you didnt before its the time of year with extra meaning for me now. be strong buddy, always here for you Steve Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Like the "Dear Heart....." at the bottom of your posts O-shen! I have been amazed at how "mere" emotions or thoughts in the brain can produce such strong physical symptoms in your heart, stomach, whole body. Steve, let it out - I've cried more in the last 3 months than the rest of my life put together - including when I was a baby, I'm convinced of it! This is not a great time of year for it, is it?! All the best, N Hi Nugs, Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and pain, youre right when you say that it is amazing how much physical pain can be caused by the brain giving off thoughts, like you i seem to have cried more in the last year than during the rest of my life put together (im 38). This isnt a great time of year, well at least not for me anymore and it sounds like not for you and many others too, it is a time when we reflect deeply on the past christmas and all that it meant to us, getting tearful just writing this. Anyways, you are not alone and i am always here for you Steve Link to comment
adarkplace Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 hey Steve....things are tough but I hope your hanging in there. Im at that point where information is starting to come to me about my ex through mutual friends and none of it is making me feel better....just grit your teeth and be strong...things WILL be ok Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Thanks my friend and likewise please stay strong during your difficult time, if you ever need someone to bleat at im here for you. Link to comment
AnnaN Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I'm sending you a hug, too! I hope it will be the last "anniversary" that you feel like this and you will be so happy with your life next year that you won't even remember the day! Link to comment
northpickle Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Hugs from me also! How are you feeling today? Link to comment
stevef20 Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Thankyou Anna, I wish for those things too. I saw your post on another thread and so know you're hurting, take strength from knowing it gets easier. I'm here for you. Link to comment
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