Alezia Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 The attitude that you are too good for non-music jobs (and are basically just a volunteer at this point in time), and you are currently supported by your parents would be an automatic deal breaker for me to consider a long-term relationship. I seek guys who have some kind of passion about life in general, and those who are driven by ambitions. While it's great to have ambitions, it's not so great to be blinded by them at the expense of everything in life. I would most likely suggest the drunk college-girl crowd at this point in time. They won't be looking for anything serious, and it may give you some kick of confidence to work in the real areas that need improvement in your life. It seems like you have a plethora of problems, and you seem to be focusing on the least important one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougie_D Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 When I say "upfront with your intentions", I mean, once you get a girl interested in you and wanting to date you who is your age, I think you owe it to her to tell that you're not looking for anything serious Yes, that's fine...but I'm having problems for girls from ANY age to have any INTEREST in me. Girls can be nice and all, but not a single girl have actually EXPRESSED INTEREST. There was one girl that I took to the concert with, movies with, but everyone on this forum told me she wasn't interested in me. And this is longest time I've ever hung out with the same girl. She also told me about her SEX friend. Also, I get really bummed when I'm with my friends. I went to the club with some people and one of them hooked up with a chick. Danced all night, make out, etc.. He then found out how old she was (after we left) and he bummed...She is 22 at the most and my friend just turned 30. The moral of the story is I have to get YOUNGER MINDED girls (21-24) age group to be INTERESTED in a 30 year old. Getting a girl is not easy for me. Getting dates and being around them would be a great start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougie_D Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Oh, also... The thing about the "scene" girls... I think the reason they are NOT INTO me, is because I DON'T dress like the rocker. I look more average, and probably a little preppy to them. I'm not going to drastically change my wardrobe. I don't put much thought in what people are wearing as much as others do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 The fact is, many younger girls (of that age) tend not to go for older guys because it's kind of "creepy" to them. Unless the guy looks like he's in his mid 20s (then they are attracted to him, and find out his age and not care), older guys are usually out unless he has a BOATLOAD of money or something. Just to contrast, I was talking to a lab partner a year ago about "older men". She is my age. She said "Oh I'm dating an older man!" She was 20 at the time, and he was 25. That sort of seems to be the cut-off for people in that bracket, give or take a few years. At the time though, I giggled because I was with a man in his 50s but I knew that she would likely think I was very *odd* if I told her this. You could always aim for the mid 20s crowd if you wanted, the sort of "in between" usually wanting to just have a good time and wanting something long-term. Scene girls do dress kind of crazy, I agree with you. As I said before, I think changing your situation will help you a LOT. You really seem to lack confidence now. It's a real boon to KNOW that you're independent and can support yourself. It's also a big turn-on for girls to know that you can hold your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capuccino83 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I agree with the poster that said that you have a plethora of problems and are focusing on the least important ones. If you get your life together, you'll probably have a much better shot of attracting a decent girl who's not going to care that much about boatloads of money or lack of experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I'm 26, and the boyfriend is 30. If I was single at this point in time, I wouldn't mind dating up to 33 probably. I could see that some (maybe not all) girls from 23-26 range be interested. I've noticed that most of my friends were starting to think more about LTR than casual dating around 25-26. I would say that the bigger the city, the longer the age (I'm not in a small village either). I still can't expect LA girls to go past 29-30 to start thinking long-term though... What type of jobs and schedules do your roomates run on? That might give you a clue on how to make it on your own in LA. It's great to choose your "Option A", but I don't think that it is a choice that will come to you very shortly. It's great to keep your end-goal in mind, but I would start generating a back-up plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougie_D Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 The majority of them have restaurant/bar jobs as waiters or bartender. I'm not sure if those types of places would hire me. Seems like they go after people with a lot of experience and stuff. Especially in LA. Too be honest, I really don't know what my roommates end game are. They both came out to do acting but only ONE has done a "reality" type based show. Their ages are 30, 27. I had 4 years of experience at Sam's club. I could probably get a "stocking" type job easy. I wouldn't get a lot of pay, but I would have a job. (Hopefully) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 You could work at Sam's club, yes, stocking shelves and whatnot. Bartenders at many places may want someone with some experience but you could be a waiter at a place that isn't so high-end and needs help, like a diner or something. You could also work in a gas station. Don't forget being a sales person at Wal-Mart or whatnot. You can stock shelves or work the register. YES you may have to work a register. It's a very common entry-level job and if a highschool dropout can do it, you can do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougie_D Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 Hey, for the girls that actually seem to care about me... I don't think girls can figure out if a guy has a "GREAT JOB" or anything like that from meeting them. Is it my LOOKS or the way I am? Is it because I'm too "CONVENIENT"? I'm not sure if I told people this...and MAYBE you'll understand the whole situation why I have always lacked self confidence. I was BORN with bad hearing. I used to wear hearing aids up until 6th grade. So you can imagine, my childhood sucked. I always went to the doctors and people in general always made fun of me. So, technically, I guess I have a disability and that's the reason why my parents always BABIED me. Also, I would assume because music was LOUDER, I was more involved with it. I ended up learning guitar and became REALLY good at it. MUSIC has always got me to where I'm at. And music has been where people accepted me and where I have gotten friends. I'm not deaf. I can hear people a little better since my surgery (6th grade....I have a fake bone in my ear) Sometimes things are not as CLEAR as I think they are, and in my head I start to think if it's me or just them mumbling (which most people can do) I start to think about the situation and forget to consume what's going on, so to the average person "I may seem a little slow when I don't recognize what they are saying to me." I actually HEAR the words, but because of my history, I sometimes get confused. It's quite possible that I have a NEUROLOGICAL problem. People don't say "Yo, why are you so loud? or Yo, you can't hear that well, do you?" .... But it doesn't mean I think they are thinking about. And what makes me feel good/bad/emotional every night is this statement: "You have good ears"....That's what people say when you believe someone has the "ear" to find talent, or you know what's a good song. Most good A&R's have GOOD ears. So, I truly believe I KNOW what I'M suppose to do. You know??? I mean, I have to have some purpose right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Well, the "great job" part does come into place with girls when it comes to talking about yourself ("What do you do for work?") as well as coming up with the money for dates. So that gets found out pretty quickly and you can't necessarily BS that. I'm not sure what you mean by "too convenient"? Do you mean available? Being too over eager can come off as a little desperate but women do like a man who makes time for them to hang out and whatnot, someone who isn't RIDICULOUSLY busy that he can't manage a couple dates a week or so. I'm sorry to hear about your ears and to hear that you're still having difficulty at them. To be honest, I'm surprised to hear you say that you're BETTER with listening to music than other people talk. Neurologically, the brain actually picks up on human speech sounds much better than those from music. This is why many people with cochlear implants are actually somewhat okay with human speech, but actually struggle to listen to music and enjoy it. Just doesn't work for that (yet) but we are working on the tech! This is unfortunate but I don't see how it would be an obstacle in terms of you finding someone. You can still hear, you just need to be more upfront about people ("Hey my hearing is a little bad, so I may be a little loud or have difficulty hearing you. I apologize") and people will be more understanding, I promise. I don't really believe in "purpose" as a predestined thing. I believe you make it for yourself. The choice is yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMS Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Dude its not about advertising your job, its about how you carry yourself. I have a great job (I am an attorney), but I hardly ever tell people what I do when I first meet them (hell I normally joke around that I am a butt model which is pretty funny), the thing is, I carry myself with confidence so girls I meet instinctively know that I am well set in my life, it can not be accurately described by words, it has everything to do with feeling, they have to feel your presence and your energy, your calmness, and your security about yourself. You have to be truly comfortable with who you are to achieve that, that can not be faked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Girls like an available guy. Don't start playing games. We enjoy it if the guy has hobbies of his own like cycling, running, curling, baseball, taking spanish etc... If guys don't have any outside interests then they start relying on you for happiness and source of entretainment. That is what is scary to women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Butt model... Will have to steal that one. Apparently engineering and it are conversation killers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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