Can you actually make your EX chase you?!

[1unforgettable]

Hi Everyone!

 

I want to see and document whether you can in fact make your EX chase you again by using Male psychology and their hot buttons!

 

So this is my story..

 

My partner and the father of my 6 month old dumped me 7 weeks ago after a year and half together, we didn't end on bad terms however i was still very much in love with him and his reason for the split at the time was that he didn't love me anymore, however 3 weeks after we broke up he started texting and ringing telling me how bad he feels but thing's had gone to far but he did still love me and always will i then found out he had started seeing someone else only a week after we had split so i put the calls and texts down to guilt! After finding out about it all i did NC for a week however having a baby means NC for longer than a week is not possible and taking the option of going through a family member to contact him just seemed childish. So.. we spoke as normal when he picked his daughter up and things remained the same he didn't contact unless it was to have her but things have all changed since last Monday i had contacted him on the sunday as my daughter wasn't very well and i desperately needed some medicine but because he had been on a night out he couldn't help me anyway the point is he text on the monday apologizing for not helping out we spoke on the phone normal maybe a bit to friendly but still.. and he agreed to bring me some money after work but that's when i started to get too confused as when he came round he was very nice, talking about the past and our relationship. Looking into my eye's and truly meaning what he was saying that he regrets leaving etc... the normal crap! As he was about to go i finally got the truth that my daughter had been near his new girlfriend i sent a very calm text but still getting my point accross he then replied the next morning with an appologie and again telling me that he loved me and if i need anything to contact him the texts then slowly went on to become flirty he told me he would come round wednesday to see his daughter however we ended up having sex but before this though he had mentioned how much i had changed as ive lost a lot of weight and with it have gained some much confidence anyway he left and went straight to her.. Since that night all i have done is research about men psychology and their hot buttons so.... im wanted to see if this really works so tonight i played "the game".

 

He already knew that i had planned to go out so when he picked his daughter up i was ready to leave dressed up to the nines looking my absolute best i didn't behave how i did the night we slept together i played it cool i got my daughters stuff together only speaking about her, HE was the one asking the questions.. where are you going? who you going out with? to which i replied that it was none of his business, he followed me around my flat while i was getting the last of daughters things even nudging me as i went past him he even tried to touch my bum too at which point i asked him what he was doing, he kept asking me what was wrong and i just laughed and said nothing was, he also asked why i was being different from the other day and i told him that i wasn't going to go from being THE one to now being a dirty little secret and he said i wasn't a secret but that is defiantly what i am. He kept saying that i was going to bring someone back and get with someone tonight i didn't disagree but that is for sure not going to happen any time soon anyway he left slightly angry and annoyed having not got the response he thought he was going to get, not having me all over him, not confessing my love, acting like i don't care and looking my best!

 

I will speak to him sunday when he drops my daughter off so we will see what happens.. but i expect by next week i will have him really questioning things if this does work..

 

FINGER'S CROSSED!

[pl3asehelp]

Why are you doing this? Out of spite? To be mean? I don't get it. Of course anyone can play games like you are, but it's immature, selfish, and hurtful - is that who you want to be?

 

If you're trying to get him back, well this is going to backfire and you should feel pretty bad about yourself when it does.

[lanaa]

Yes you can,men always want what they think they have lost or-cant have

 

Somehow make him think you are one of those 2 things

[donpeel83]

Yes you can,men always want what they think they have lost or-cant have

 

This isnt confined to gender!! Its natural human psychology to want what you cant have!! Gender is irrelevant.

[HeartGoesOn]

I would avoid adolescent game playing, and conduct myself in an adult way, especially with an innocent child added to the mix. Is he really such a prize who would make you stoop to this level? Are you forgetting that he walked out on you and his daughter, for another woman?

[1unforgettable]

I would avoid adolescent game playing, and conduct myself in an adult way, especially with an innocent child added to the mix. Is he really such a prize who would make you stoop to this level? Are you forgetting that he walked out on you and his daughter, for another woman?

 

I don't believe he walked out on me for another women but he did enter another relationship very soon after which i think is a rebound.

[1unforgettable]

Why are you doing this? Out of spite? To be mean? I don't get it. Of course anyone can play games like you are, but it's immature, selfish, and hurtful - is that who you want to be?

 

If you're trying to get him back, well this is going to backfire and you should feel pretty bad about yourself when it does.

 

 

 

As for this being seen as immature or selfish how can it be when all im doing is improving myself for the better and just showing him what he let go.. where's the harm in that? But least of all is it hurtful.. he left me and his daughter and he's moved on why shouldn't i pretend im doing the same.

[Thorshammer]

That is so typical of selfish people who end up having kids, and their selfishness starts to give them doubt (your babyfather). I dont see it as game, I see it as attraction. If doing this out of character (or more like things you did when you first dated that you didnt realize you did) to gather attraction is bad, then so is women putting on make up and spending hours in a hair saloon, using push up bras, thats not really them either (they dont sleep with pounds of make up, thats not a human face, lol), but thats all done for attraction. Its not like your attacking him in the night, or poisoning his drink, or using black magic.

 

I am experienced enough to know when a girl is using way too many "tactics" to get me interested. I see right through the push/pull, the "tests", them making themselves challenge to build interest. There was this one girl though... i was young, and i didnt find her physically attractive when a friend introduced me to her, i took her out on one date and was turned off, she messaged me many months later, came over, used some serious attraction on me and we ended up sleeping with each other. She had me chase a bit. I took notes from this girl for sure.

 

And this isnt gender specific. I would actually bank on it working more for men actually if i had a choice, since many men focus more on physical than behavior compared to women.

[DN]

This can backfire badly because although some men want what they can't have, other men don't want what another man has already had or is having.

[ambigram]

This can backfire badly because although some men want what they can't have, other men don't want what another man has already had or is having.

 

 

[lanaa]

This can backfire badly because although some men want what they can't have, other men don't want what another man has already had or is having.

 

 

well that's why i am avoiding to tell my ex anything,he has been asking me so much do i date,do i have anyone since we started to talk.I have only ignored it.It will make him wonder,but he will not know lol

[LDRohnos]

well that's why i am avoiding to tell my ex anything,he has been asking me so much do i date,do i have anyone since we started to talk.I have only ignored it.It will make him wonder,but he will not know lol

 

Yeah, based off the way you write these things it seems as if you're just enjoying him being in pain or suffering knowing you might be dating other people. I don't know what you're planning to get out of this other than some self-gratification but it's being handled like a teenager would handle it.

 

Rules of attraction be damned, you're being manipulative. What happens, he breaks down and says he was wrong and he can't handle it...then what happens...you...win? What?

[OrangeMoon]

You don't jump in a relationship a week after the old one has ended. You have been atleast emotionally connecting with this person for weeks or even months before deciding to make the jump. So whether you believe or not that she 'happened after' you guys split...chances are huge that this has not been the case.

 

The new girl is too good to leave..even having been with you for 1,5 years and sharing a new baby. So no matter if he still craves for 'sex with you...its th new woman he's with and has not left.

 

I know because you share a child and past you still love this man. But from where i'm standing I cant see a man who's worth being in your life other than to be your child's father.

 

Communication can be done through email, when you feel you feel weak when you hear his voice sexing you up. Pickups can be done through family for a period of time needed for you to do NC.

 

You have degraged yourself to hookup level ..or he has..and you have allowed yourself to degrade your relationship to one that is no more than a bootycall. Don't get fooled about his display of 'emotions'.

 

Stop the games, and start dealing with your new life as a single mom for real. This means start looking out for a new life for you and your child. Go study, get a job if you don't have one, go out and make some new friends. Many relationships end within 2 years. Its just unfortunate that you couln't have made it work despite having a baby. But your baby wants a strong and confident mom, who deals with her past and moves on from men who don't want all of her..and finds herself the guy that does.

 

You don't want this man. He's already shown you that relationshipwise he is a weak man. Be grateful that he's still around for his child and that's that.

 

Let this one go and no more gameplaying..just get real.

[Ms Darcy]

Maybe but only for a little while. I really think sleeping with a guy who is seeing someone else makes you seem like you do not expect a relationship.

[donpeel83]

well that's why i am avoiding to tell my ex anything,he has been asking me so much do i date,do i have anyone since we started to talk.I have only ignored it.It will make him wonder,but he will not know lol

 

Your antics im afraid to say are both immature and irresponsible. Your basically playing games with someone elses emotions and basically getting a kick, obtaining pleasure,. from his reactions?!? Sorry to say this, and I hope this dosent get pulled up as me "flamming" but I find that sort of manipulation to be appaling and pathetic!! I feel for your ex as he is clearly hung up on you and you are using his pain to pad out your ego!! Disgusting!!!

[Thorshammer]

Lol at these comments. Her baby-father left her and is with someone else, pulling and pushing HER while hes probably still with this woman.

 

Now shes displaying that she will not SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR HIM. Let him get jealous, go out and have fun, dont answer his questions, its none of his business. This shows that just because he is the father of your child that you will not wait out his "fun" time. A lot of baby-fathers walk out, get another woman, and expect their childs mother to wait, its more common than people think. You are not his priority, so return that to him in spades, let him know what reality will be since he walked out.

[pl3asehelp]

This isnt confined to gender!! Its natural human psychology to want what you cant have!! Gender is irrelevant.

 

Or not - I think it's ridiculous to chase after something I can't have and never do things like that. I mean when you know you're going to fail at something with 100% certainty, why would you waste your time with that unless you don't have a brain?

[pl3asehelp]

As for this being seen as immature or selfish how can it be when all im doing is improving myself for the better and just showing him what he let go.. where's the harm in that? But least of all is it hurtful.. he left me and his daughter and he's moved on why shouldn't i pretend im doing the same.

 

Because pretend is basically a synonym for lying. Just be honest - is it so hard?

 

If you want to improve yourself for yourself, good for you, but if you're doing it in hopes of agitating some guy who walked out on you, well you're only hurting you and your daughter.

 

I suggest instead of pretending to move on that you actually move on - for both your sake and your daughter.

[ParisPaulette]

While a part of me applauds you for dishing back what this guy has been doing to you, the larger issue is this--why would you want this jerk to chase you? Even if you get him back it appears he will only want you if he perceives he can't have you and that's not how a mature, real relationship is formed and kept together. He jumps from a relationship with you leaving not only you, but his child alone while he goes off with another woman. Then has the nerve to decide he wants to "have his cake and eat it too" by sleeping with you and then going right back to the other woman. No way. I think a better thing to do than game playing is to tell him straight up that as long as he is with anyone else then you two are not an item period--except that you do expect him to pay child support and you will take him to court if he refuses or welches on that. Then go out with friends and date for real and leave him in the dust. Seriously, it's unfortunate that this guy gets to be your child's father, but for your baby's sake at least insist he be a good father while you make it clear he's a lousy boyfriend/husband and you aren't buying what he's selling. Then get on with your life finding someone else who will love both you and your child who is the real deal. Not a spoiled little boy who expects it will only go his way and his actions have no consequences.

[donpeel83]

Or not - I think it's ridiculous to chase after something I can't have and never do things like that. I mean when you know you're going to fail at something with 100% certainty, why would you waste your time with that unless you don't have a brain?

 

Hi,

 

Again, id strongly disagree with your point from a wider perspective. In your actual, singular case, it might be the case that you’re correct as you know you better than anyone. However, from a wider general context there is countless physiological research which goes along way to proving that there is a massive element of it being natural human nature to crave something you cant have. There are 3 elements for why this is the case from what I have found:

- Heightened attention – when something is hard to obtain you automatically pay more attention to it.

- Perceived scarcity – if you believe that something is in short supply, you will crave it more and the perceived value will increase.

- Psychological Reactance – This boils down to people not liking it when they are told they cant do something or have something. This very much leads into not wanting to be controlled.

 

Again, there is plenty of information and research out there which does lend a lot of weight to this being a certified part of human psychology.

[donpeel83]

Lol at these comments. Her baby-father left her and is with someone else, pulling and pushing HER while hes probably still with this woman.

 

Now shes displaying that she will not SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR HIM. Let him get jealous, go out and have fun, dont answer his questions, its none of his business. This shows that just because he is the father of your child that you will not wait out his "fun" time. A lot of baby-fathers walk out, get another woman, and expect their childs mother to wait, its more common than people think. You are not his priority, so return that to him in spades, let him know what reality will be since he walked out.

 

I agree with your point but from looking at the OP's original thread is as if shes after a reaction from the guy, who as you rightly said left her for someone else whilst she is left holding the baby. The question the OP has to ask is why she wants to actually care about getting a reaction from this man? He doesnt deserve her attention and if she wants to have fun and go out she should be doing because she wants fun and to have her own life, not because she has a plan to use it get her ex back, who frankly doesnt deserve the OP.

 

Also Thor, my comment previous to your one was not aimed at the OP but at someone else who seemed to be extracting pleasure from her ex squirming at her behaviour. In that case I feel I was justified in branding that poster as immature and cruel for playing with someones emotions in a vindictive way.