Scared21 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 This is a bit of a story *sigh* Almost 2 years ago i met a man on a mmorpg. We hit it off INSTANTLY. Just clicked. never have i had something like that before in my life. Nice right? what could go wrong. I was 20 he was 40. we got past that. i honestly don't care about the age difference. he had many reservations about it. all of that is in the past now.. Here is where it gets bad. Many people on this game know a face that isn't really me. I did this for many reason, popularity on said game, free stuff (hey come on, hot chick on a game whats not to love) and many other reason. Never ment for it to amount to anything. And its a game, fun to pretend to be something your not. He came to see me as this "hot girl". I thought, "ok what does it matter i will have fun with this man, hang out on the game and move along." It didn't happen like that. One day turned into a month and a month into a year. We grew to know each other, love each other, as crazy as that sounds. he was in a really bad time in his life, and i was there for him. I would constantly see him on web cam, smiling, laughing, hell i even watched him shower once or twice but mine was "broken". We have spent every moment when not sleeping or working in some form of contact. 1 year and 8 months later, he has an amazing job, back on his feet, and finally has the money to fly me from the east coast to the west coast. I broke down one night and told him everything. So much crying, on my part, and some on his. A few days past, intense phone conversations, alot of talking, more crying and apologizing. He tells me he still loves me, that he would never forgive himself if he didnt see where we went. I got on cam, first it was just face for a week or so, then we moved to various body parts, Breast, vagina, ass. a little here and there. One day i moved back away he seen all of me. (here i say i am VERY self conscious. Always have been. I am no small girl by any means. And he is beautiful, sexy, hot, amazing. A man a woman would look at and just do a double take. Blonde hair, blue eyes, 6'3,220. The perfect man. a little balding but i just find that even more attractive. the man looks 32 not 42 (which is his age now, im 21) The camera made me look better then i really am. I will say i used a little angle on the cam for different things, But he says im beautiful. 5 days from now on Saturday im flying to meet him Im so afraid once i get there he wont like me, he will be disgusted. That... idk he will just wonder "what in the hell was i thinking: i am kept up at nights worrying. Should i just show him me in all my "glory" or wait till i get there and see what happens. I mean he has seen me, to a degree. we have overcome ALOT in the "almost" 2 years i have know him. but what if. what if. i cant get it out of my head. i dont know what im looking for on this forum... what i hope to accomplish.. but i had to let someone or something know my fears. Should i hope he doesn't care once i get there that im fatter then the fat he thinks i am lol. what should i do. i want to meet this man, i have dreamed of it. So far im prepared to just step into the airport and see how things go. what do you think? Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I suggest you be 100% forthcoming before you grab the plane ticket. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 You must be absolutely honest. I think that when you meet him that you need to take it slow. Don't stay at his place - get your own hotel that you pay for and make sure that no one spends the night off the bat. Dont let him feel like you owe him sex for him having flown you. This way you can get reacquainted and get to know each other. You will find out quickly if he's worth meeting agian, if he's genuine and if he doesn't care about the weight and is not just looking for some action. What i think that is more concerning is that you spent every waking moment together talking, etc. - i would keep my eyes open about boundaries. Some people come on strong and fast if they have those issues. And meet him in a public place. Also, if he is buying a plane ticket, why is he not coming to see YOU - to me, I would insist it work the other way. Not that it is all about the age difference but a 40 year old man flying out a young woman of 21 to meet him, etc, just sort of doesn't sit easy with me - you want to be in control of the situation and not put yourself in a sticky situation. Link to comment
Scared21 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 Well we have a hotel for a week in las vegas. We chose a place that is somewhat between us. And i WANT to have sex with this man. and if it is JUST sex, im ok with that. he has 9 1/2 inches, cant pass that up. call me like a man on this one but the sex aspect is one reason im going. i have craved this man for so long. i dont feel like i owe him sex its something i completely want. and we are spending the night off the bat. To anyone else i would say "are you crazy" but hey its what were doing. I trust this man with everything in me. Thats not the problem im dealing with Link to comment
AngelAmber Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I think the fact that u showed him ur body, and he said ur beautiful means that he really does think that, he still wants to meet up with u and isnt acting differently or weird towards u, so id say try not to be nervous! even if u did use a camera angle or whatever- im sure he saw enough to get th jist of what u look like also remember that if he is emotionally attached to u, he shouldnt care (and it sounds like he is attracted to u) I agree with a bit broken, make sure that u are able to be independent when ur there with him, just in case.check that hotel and hotels nearby to see if they have avalible rooms for u incase u need a separate room.always have a plan b is my motto There is nothing wron with craving someone and being attrcted to them! all women think these things -some just dont say it out loud, i fully admit to saying things like that out loud haha so dont feel bad or that other girls reading this will think ur 'like a man' for saying it alot of people meet over the internet and have successful relationships- some LDR and others move to a place to be together. make sure thought that a friend or family member knows where u will be, has the number of the hotel etc for emergencies- cant hurt right (plan B/ C even haha) have fun! try not to be scared, and just enjoy the moment let us know what happens ok! wish u the best hun ! Link to comment
Scared21 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 thank you angel. And my mothers has all the info. he sent me 500$ in cash for an emergency that will be my own. ( im a bit broke haha) what you said has made me feel completely better. Thank you so much. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I would not have sex with this man unless you have already thoroughly discussed birth control and you are willing to go together to a store there and buy backups. I think sending you cash on top of this is a bit suspicious to me, IMHO. I honestly would meet this guy in public for a meal right off the bat and make sure there are no obvious gut feelings telling you that you need to be alert. Link to comment
Scared21 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 i am on birth control. have been for years. condoms will be used of course. We are having dinner right after i land. Link to comment
Applewhite Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 The cash is a little suspicious yes! And I wish he had flown himself to your town. Please write back to us with details of where you are, how you are if you get a chance. I hope everything goes well and that you are safe. In terms of him not liking you, we are usually our own worst critics. Although if you knew the trip was coming up you could have worked out and gotten into shape! (That's what I would've done) Link to comment
AngelAmber Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 i dunno about the cash being strange? i think hes trying to show u there is nothing to fear, or worry about, but still of course dont let ur guard down and i think that its great ur going to meet for dinner first definatly let us know what happens Link to comment
Dubb Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I'm shocked he is even meeting you after what you did... Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I wouldn't worry about the issue of you being a heavier person, since he's seen you on the cam and he knows that the first pictures were fakes. If he freaks out because you're bigger than he thought, that's his problem, he should have been able to judge that properly from the cam. If he does that I'd just leave, not waste any more time. I wouldn't hop right into bed with him though, at least get to know him for a few days first! Link to comment
TheVP Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 You're sending him pictures of your privates before he even sees the rest of you? Maybe it's just me, but it seems some typical courtships rituals have been bypassed here. Link to comment
robintoronto Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Well my take has always been this - a relationship cannot happen based on deception. Just meet him, put your best foot forward and let the chips fall where they may. That's the best you can do really. But yes, please be safe, meet in a public place at first, chat for hours and then decide to be alone with him. And as already said, have lots of back up plans. Not just for convenience sake, but safety as well. I wish you the best and let us know how it went! Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Honestly, since you weren't honest about your appearance I doubt this guy will stick around. Deception is never good to start though I do understand why you did it. I met my husband playing an mmorpg game and I was very forthcoming right from the start. Even though he knew you never really know until you meet up. So I say go for it and be safe! Just realize you might not be what he's looking for and will move on. Maybe I missed but how much are we talking that you deceived by 20lbs, 40lbs 100lbs? Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 And its a game, fun to pretend to be something your not. I got on cam...we moved to various body parts, Breast, vagina, ass. if it is JUST sex, im ok with that. he has 9 1/2 inches, cant pass that up. Well, it sounds like this is built on all the right stuff. Lies, deceipt, and his 9.5 inches. OP - I'm also surprised he's still meeting you. The fact that he is, after you told him you've been betraying him for years, makes me think he has something equally grand that he's hiding. At the least, prepare to be rejected. Not so much because you're a big girl, but sheerly because if he is decent, he's going to want nothing to do with someone who was capable of lying to him for so long. I also wouldn't be counting on the 9.5 inches, either. If he's not physically attracted in person (and if he's that fit, assume he won't be). If I were you, I'd spare myself the drama of the in-person meet, and send him ACCURATE AND RECENT pics of what you look like. The vast majority of people who meet online end up being disappointed in person, even with supposedly real pics being exchanged. I can't imagine his reaction when he realizes he's been duped all these years. Link to comment
22n32 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I say be carefull have fun.. More then likely both of u guys will be dissapointed in eachother.. Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Dang a lot of negativity pointed towards the OP, although I do agree with everyone about not getting your hopes up for a happy ending. However I think you need to work on your self esteem a little, bit lying about you appearance, calling yourself a "fat girl" in you title, and being scared of what he thinks about you isn't good. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Dang a lot of negativity pointed towards the OP, although I do agree with everyone about not getting your hopes up for a happy ending. However I think you need to work on your self esteem a little, bit lying about you appearance, calling yourself a "fat girl" in you title, and being scared of what he thinks about you isn't good. Agreed. And apparently she thinks that her worth is all about her private parts because that is what she sent him. He may have been at first interested in her personality at least somewhere along the way, but any dash of getting to know eachother on a deeper level was quickly dismissed because she was very blatant about what she expected of him - sex. If it were me, i wouldn't be so worry if he "wanted me" but was HE worth of ME? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Agree with this and I think if you go back to a hotel room with this man you've never met in person (so for safety purposes, a complete stranger) you are putting yourself at a huge risk -you will be far from home, you have no idea who else will be in that hotel room when you get there or afterwards and you will be at his mercy (and anyone else he chooses to invite). Even if you just want sex I'm sure you don't want to be raped or assaulted. It's odd that he's still meeting you and since safety comes first when meeting strangers especially far from home I'd assume that his motives are not what they seem in his typing and talking. Link to comment
scklbad Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 face is more important than body for guys, and he said you were beautiful. Besides I doubt you are that big. btw wherre in thee east coast are you from? Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Agree with this and I think if you go back to a hotel room with this man you've never met in person (so for safety purposes, a complete stranger) you are putting yourself at a huge risk -you will be far from home, you have no idea who else will be in that hotel room when you get there or afterwards and you will be at his mercy (and anyone else he chooses to invite). Even if you just want sex I'm sure you don't want to be raped or assaulted. It's odd that he's still meeting you and since safety comes first when meeting strangers especially far from home I'd assume that his motives are not what they seem in his typing and talking. Geez Batya, your post has my spidey senses reeling a bit. What if he's some total crazy nutter, and is pissed as all get that that she lied to him like this for 2 years, and plans on bringing some friends to rough her up in the hotel room? I mean, it's Vegas. And people go to Vegas when they want to avoid their own backyard... It makes no sense that he would send her $500 in cash, and he wouldn't just spend that money to fly to her town, or fly her to his for a quick meet. It doesn't add up, when you think about it. Also, NO ONE stays in Vegas for a week. Two, three days tops. That's all anyone can ever handle. lol Link to comment
Scared21 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 The reason for this post was if i trusted him or not. it was me being scared and insecure. I just spend 2 hours talking to him, on cam. letting him know ALL my fears and well showing him myself. He laughed at me and said i was being silly. He worked hard for the money for us to meet. and we waited almost 2 years to finally meet. this man isnt a stranger to me. I know him better then i have ever known anyone. You might say "how can you be sure, you have never met him." we have been exclusive to each other this whole time. ever night i talk to him for hours. at 3 o'clock every day for almost 2 years i would call him on my lunch break. I have talked to his sister and his mother. He has talked to my mother. I trust this man even if others think im stupid. I know in my heart he would never hurt me. and as for me showing him my privates. thats nothing when you love someone. and i do love him. Not to mention i have seen him naked countless times. Sex and sexual things have always been apart of our relationship. I enjoy phone sex, web cam sex, hell i initiate it more then he ever does. Link to comment
Scared21 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 It makes no sense that he would send her $500 in cash, and he wouldn't just spend that money to fly to her town, or fly her to his for a quick meet. It doesn't add up, when you think about it. Also, NO ONE stays in Vegas for a week. Two, three days tops. That's all anyone can ever handle. lol the $500 is for food, baggage. and just encase something happens and he doesnt show up and i need a hotel room for a night (my ticket is a round trip) so if he dies in a fiery crash i have a place to sleep until i can get back home lol (the hotel is in his name) as for staying there for a week. we found a great deal on time share on ebay 350$ for 7 days was to good to pass up. And we decided to spend a week together. See some shows in vegas. but take this time to connect and be together finally after all this time Link to comment
Generation Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 If I were 42 and I was about to hook up with a girl who's 21, I could care less if she was 5'1 200 lbs. Besides that, sometimes I'll find myself looking up 'BBW' on X-rated sites so stop worrying. You also already have a connection too. Link to comment
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