How do I get this crazy guy to leave me alone?

[TearsofFate]

I have told him for the last 9 months that I am not interested. We have never met outside of the internet, but he acts desperate and it is driving me mad. He can e-mail me up to 8 times per day. I never really wanted to ever meet him and I let him know so. I let him know early on. He kept sending me pictures of his privates when I clearly stated I thought he was disgusting. He got emotionally upset whenever I insulted him, but I got up to the point of willing to say anything rude to scare him off. It's for his own good because I am not interested in him at all. He's 10 years older than me, not my type, and I find him boring (I have told him this).

 

He still swamps my email address. I threatened to make a new one just to get rid of him, but I am trying to avoid this since my whole family and all my ebay, facebook, and everything is linked to that email. Even my online schooling is linked to that email.

 

I found a boyfriend who I love and want to make it work with, but this guy keeps emailing me. Even if I don't talk to him for 6 months, he still bothers me asking where I am and when I'm coming back, when I made it clear to him that I am so not interested! I went to America for months on end where I don't have access to the internet. I think, surely, when I go back to Canada, he'll be moved on but, NO.

 

There they are, waiting for me ..50 emails all lined up in my inbox, all recent of him freaking out over where I've gone to. There they are, even though I yelled at him before leaving Stating: "MOVE ON! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

 

This is ruining everything for me. I keep thinking, if my boyfriend sees all these emails from him he'll think I'm cheating, or talking to random guys online.

 

How do I make this guy stop emailing me like a pest. It's got me in such a bad mood. I will go on for months not talking to him but he NEVER stops emailing me...and so eventually I cave in and yell at him telling him harshly to leave me the heck alone.

 

I've tried being nice about it. I've tried being incredibly mean about it. I've tried ignoring him for months. Nothing works, in fact it seems to make it worse.

 

Any help?

[Captain Obvious]

Depending on who does your email, you can block certain addresses

[Liraele]

I would block his email address. Nearly all accounts/providers will allow that. Problem solved. If he sets up a new address, just block that one too.

[metrogirl]

How difficult is it just to ignore the emails? Everytime you respond to his emails, you are showing him that he can still reach you.

 

When you stop responding and completely ignore him, then maybe he will move on and if he doesn't and you aren't willing to change your email address then everytime a new one comes in, just delete it. You don't even have to open it.

[Fudgie]

Who is your email provider? Gmail? It's easy to filter out his messages so they hit your trash and you NEVER see them or even get alerts. I would just do that. He'll give up and find someone else to harass.

[Jetta]

I vote for blocking the e-mail address.

[TearsofFate]

For some reason I can't block his e-mail. This is for msn. I do mark them as junk, but they keep appearing in my inbox anyway. I have tried ignoring him, but it always gets to a point where I can't believe how much stuff he sends me and all the times I have to try and hide it from my boyfriend. It's got me stressed out.

 

Does anyone know how to block an email on msn? I can't find it for some reason.

[Fudgie]

OP, try this.

 

It's not called "blocking" his email, it's called filtering it. You can filter all incoming emails that come from his address right to your junk or garbage folder.

 

link removed

[TearsofFate]

He sends naked pictures too. And pictures of him getting off. It just really bothers me to the point at telling him to go away and flipping out at him. Especially since my boyfriend uses the same computer. 9 months of this is enough, I have no patience for it anymore.

 

If anyone could help me with blocking him I'd be SO thankful!

[TearsofFate]

OP, try this.

 

It's not called "blocking" his email, it's called filtering it. You can filter all incoming emails that come from his address right to your junk or garbage folder.

 

link removed

 

Thanks I will try that

[metrogirl]

Perhaps you should just tell your boyfriend about the guy's persistance that way he won't think you are hiding anything from him. Why would he see your emails anyway?

[PaintWithLight]

Perhaps you should just tell your boyfriend about the guy's persistance that way he won't think you are hiding anything from him. Why would he see your emails anyway?

 

Yes, confide all with your boyfriend and show him the emails. That would at least take away of the fear of a surprise discovery.

 

Of course, your guy will have the normal questions: how did things get to this point with a stranger on the Net?

 

Still, having him in your corner will be a big relief. By confiding in him, you will show that you have nothing to hide and all the emails, attention and photos have been strictly one-way.

[DN]

He sends naked pictures too. And pictures of him getting off. It just really bothers me to the point at telling him to go away and flipping out at him. Especially since my boyfriend uses the same computer. 9 months of this is enough, I have no patience for it anymore.

 

If anyone could help me with blocking him I'd be SO thankful!

Call the police - what he is doing is a crime.

[eternalsunrise]

Msn...hotmail? Go to options>blocked and safe senders. Add his email to the list and save. Emails from him will be automatically deleted. Don't look or respond to him in any way shape or form. Don't tell your BF. Move on with your life. He'll go away.

[Staple]

So creepy! Block his address. You might need to notify police if there's a chance he knows where you live- don't take chances.

[browneyedgirl36]

First of all, I agree with DN. What this guy is doing is a crime, and you should report him to the police. Even if he's never threatened you in person, he is harassing you, and sending the naked pictures is DEFINITELY a type of harassment for which the police can intervene. He's basically stalking you.

 

Here's my suggestion, one I got from reading Gavin de Becker's fantastic book 'The Gift of Fear' (he advised a client who was getting harassing phone calls to do something similar): Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, respond to him ever again> If you respond after 50 e-mails, even to tell him to stop, the message you're sending to him is that 50 e-mails is what it takes to get you to answer. Instead, create a new e-mail account, preferably with a different e-mail provider. Then, work on "moving" all of your friends and family and school-related people over to that e-mail address while still keeping the other one open in case you have any stragglers who don't get your new address right away, or forget you've changed it, etc. After awhile, your old address will be sort of like a giant "spam" folder: You can check it occasionally to see if you have any important e-mails and leave it as a "holding tank" for the harasser's e-mails in case you need to show them to the police. You might want to save them into a folder, just in case. Then, close the account once you're sure that everyone you want to contact you has your new e-mail address. Whatever you do, though, don't respond to him ever again. Responding simply adds fuel to his fire, and if you respond, you'll never stop hearing from him.

[eternalsunrise]

That's a good idea. I did the opposite, actually, in the past... I sent a BCC'd email pretending that I was addressing friends and family. But really the email just went to my stalker. I wrote something like, "Dear Friends and Family, I just want to let you know, I've decided to go with YAHOO mail. My new account is xyz. I'll be closing this account in about a week. So, make sure to use my new account to reach me. Thanks!"

 

The dude fell for it. He started emailing me there. lol. I was able to keep my long-time email address and get that creep to stop contacting me there. I checked the yahoo account for a couple weeks just to make sure he was emailing me there. Since he wasn't trying to contact me in any other way, I decided to block him on that yahoo address too. That way I wouldn't get all bothered and upset to see a large number of emails from him there.

 

By the way, filing a police report comes with its own problems. The stalker would be able to see a copy of the police report and now have your address and phone number. That would really suck if all he had before was an email address and no real way to "find" you in the world. Nut jobs don't necessarily get scared off by a police report. I think the OP would just be opening another can of worms by filing a report. Do you even know his real name to file the report to begin with ??

[DN]

By the way, filing a police report comes with its own problems. The stalker would be able to see a copy of the police report and now have your address and phone number.

Are you absolutely sure about that - do you have credible evidence to back it up? It seems counter-intuitive to me that the police would allow a stalker to see the victim's address and phone number.

[eternalsunrise]

Are you absolutely sure about that - do you have credible evidence to back it up? It seems counter-intuitive to me that the police would allow a stalker to see the victim's address and phone number.

I spoke with a police officer at my local police department about it. He said that yes it would be in public records for anyone to search and see once it is filed. I point blank told him I was weary about filing it because I didn't want the freak to ever see where I lived. I decided it would be better to just ignore him and stop looking at his psycho emails. The battle is won if you can be strong enough to not read the emails (and obviously not reply).

[DN]

I think I would check that out further.

[dobbin]

i've been in your shoes before. an ex of mine from years ago broke up with me for another version of me (let's not go there). i kicked him out of my life so i could move on. he spent the next two years harassing me through email, phone and text. i took my facebook down. he found me on linkedin.

 

u MUST block/filter his email from msn. you can do this. i've done it. i never see his emails. i never answer when he called. i never reply to his text. over time they got less frequent and after 2 years he has finally learned to leave me alone. dont know if he still emails me because i never get/check those, but i am very glad he accepted my decision to keep him out of my life.

 

did i say he was a liar, cheater, manipulator, women-user, adulterer?

[TearsofFate]

Thank you so much EVERYONE! Thanks for helping me with blocking him! He's old enough to be my dad, it's so creepy.

 

He's finally on my block list. Although I hope he doesn't make another email to bother me with. I will take the advice and slowly make a new email.

 

The thing that actually scares me about him was when he started leaving stuff downstairs at my building. Like beside my REAL mailbox. Downstairs. Basically, what happened was in the early stages of us talking (9 months ago or so). I was showing him a picture of my Nikon camera I use for talking wildlife pictures. (This is back when we were discussing casual interests..at the "getting to know each other" stage.) I just thought I'd show him what brand of camera it was since he was curious about my pictures of wild animals and birds.

 

He kept that picture. Then later on he asked me where I take wildlife pictures. I said, along the lake by my place. I told him I take my bike out there often and look for birds and ducks. (Seemed like a casual enough conversation).

 

He wanted me to show him the lake I meant on google earth. (Google earth is a downloadable feature that shows you satellite views and street views of almost anywhere) I never gave him my address...but he somehow pieced together exactly which building I lived in by using google earth and the picture of the Nikon camera..which had my window in the background, and you could see the street view from out the window (even I didn't notice this!).

 

So he pieced together what the street looked like, outside my window! The trees and everything...and he told me "you should never take pictures of outside your window". Then he was like "So if the lake is there, and that's the street out your window, you must live in THIS building". I straight up told him I didn't live in that building. He told me "you don't have to pretend I'm not a stalker haha!" or something like that...to brush it off as something light.

 

But it creeped me out a lot. I felt uncomfortable. So later on he started sending me naked pictures (I mean probably 50-100 pictures) After the FIRST picture I told him he was gross and I wasn't interested anymore and I told him how I thought it was creepy that he looked me up. He thought it was funny.

 

He didn't take the hint that I wanted him to back off.

 

The part that made me really angry was when he showed up in my lobby!! Downstairs! He left me flowers, with my name on it. Totally and utterly uninvited. I couldn't believe it. That wasn't the last time...he's tried to mail he several things now but he keeps sending me angry emails saying "how come you won't give me your phone number? How come you won't pick this stuff up that I want to give to you. I wasted 50 dollars! If you pick it up I'll leave you alone, so then I know I didn't waste my money!"

 

I told him to go away ever since 9 months ago! I NEVER told him to give me anything, and certainly never told him to show up downstairs! I never told him my address. I told him his naked pictures where gross and he was filthy. I told him he was a pig.

 

I'm not going to send him any more emails telling him to leave me alone.

 

In a way I feel like telling my boyfriend. At the same time, I just want to forget this guy ever existed. It's a hard choice. I will start with making a new email though.

 

Thanks again for helping with the blocking!

[TearsofFate]

I thought about telling the police. I never would have a few months ago..but now I'm at a point where it seems like a good idea, if he bothers me again. I wish he'd just go away..

 

That would make life so much easier!

 

Is there a way you can make an anonymous call so the files/records don't become public?

 

I am hoping this blocking/ignoring/making a new email will fix the problem...but I swear, if he shows up in my lobby once more leaving me stuff...I will probably seriously consider phoning the police. The last thing I need is an internet stalker.

 

I am trying to pass my exam finals at school, and just be happy and he's really troublesome to me and very draining and creepy.