Very intresting last 48hrs...

[22n32]

So wed night go to my friends house a girl.. hanging out a girl comes over 27 very cute but I feel this vibe from her a connection. Very weird.. we talk hang out they were going out, and new girl goes u should come. Em like no.. but another time..

 

I go home. 20 min later I get a text from my friend the new girl thinks ur hot.. instead of I think she is hot too.. I write back I like her too.. cheesy but diff.

 

Friend calls yesterday. The new girl wanted to give me her number. I call her talk for an hr.. we meet up last night for few drinks its getting late.. she had her car at my house.

 

She comes in we talk for 3 more hrs very in depth convo.. but towards the end I kiss her and she said I'm so turned on and ur so hot and nice guy.. I don't want to sleep with u to het a wrong impersion. But I want u.. I'm like I understand I'm holding back too..

 

Then I said. U know it takes too. And I can't be a hyprocrite and look down on u for having sex.. so we ended up up stairs. Had sex made her cum 3 times. She was nobody has done that.. I feel so comfy and right around u like we have known eachother for months.. a Dep connection. We both shared things I never even shared with my ex..

 

On to the intresting.. she has been in a abusive Rel, 2 kids.. but she broke away. Because she is a sweet, kind person. But like any abuse she was trapped.. she said all she wants is to be loved and to love..

 

So this goes back to my ex.. she was drawn to abuse why we broke up.. I was too good to her.. so I'm like wow opposite of my ex.. she wants love and a kind man..

 

This has me thinking. With my ex and her ex it was a perfect recepie for us to come together, show, kindness, caring and love in a way..

 

Problem is she has issues in her life.. but for some reason.. she gives me what I didn't get from the ex and vice versa.

 

Can this actually go anywhere. That I don't know..????

 

Guess who called this morning. Yep the ex she could sense it..

[happyfrank]

It could work out between you too. I don't believe in rushing into bed but love can be found anywhere. Slow it down and get to know each other so you won't be each others rebound.

[mactownman]

Just roll with the flow. No expectations. Soon enough you should be able to see if there is anything there or not.

[Ariel85]

Um, she aggressively pursued you to get you into bed (it worked - lol).

 

Here's a tip about women who sleep with guys they've only known for a few hours - 99% will say, "Oh, I never do this kind of thing! There's just something about you! I feel a total connection!". A lot of women aren't comfortable admitting they like sex, and want sex, for fear of being labeled a ho, so they play up the whole good girl but you're sooo irresistible line.

 

Reality here is that she hard core wanted to jump your bones from the moment you met, so she went for it. Beyond that, take her words as a grain of salt. She's the female version of a player, and knows what to say to a guy to make herself appear as "sweet and kind and loving" as you seem to think she is, while still getting what she wanted from you (sex).

 

Will you see her again? I'm sure for sex, most definitely. You have a giant habit of meeting women and keeping very dark blinders on, and thinking they can all manifest into being "the one", even though the odds are clearly stacked against it, because the choice from the beginning is a poor one.

[22n32]

It could work out between you too. I don't believe in rushing into bed but love can be found anywhere. Slow it down and get to know each other so you won't be each others rebound.

 

Agree, rushed sex a little to fast.. I did not want too, and she didn't wanna a leave a bad impersion by having sec with me..

 

But its been a while for me, and there was a strong connection there.. so couldn't resist.. I know its not an exuse.. but will see.. right know I feel as we both give eachother what our exes didn't. So I don't know if that's the best bases for a Rel..

 

That's why we need time and really get to know eachother..

 

One thing I feel a lot more content that we had sex.. it feels like we got that outa the way we can focus on other things..

 

Will see. I have no expections.. I actually have another date tom night.. prob should cancel it..

[22n32]

Ariel85. Can't play a player. Haha...

 

That's the beauty of this one. I don't think she is the one at all.. or have any expections..

 

I'm just going with the flow..

 

Funny thing. I don't think it will work, but same time were very open and honest with eachother..

 

Which brought a bond of sort. But like I said. That bond might be for what I was lacking with my ex and vice versa..

 

But oh no.. I don't see her being the one.. I'm not really even all that excited about it..

 

I feel the sex is outa the way.. we can actually focus on seeing if were right and can make it work or not..

[camus154]

But oh no.. I don't see her being the one.. I'm not really even all that excited about it..

 

I feel the sex is outa the way.. we can actually focus on seeing if were right and can make it work or not..

 

Can you spot the contradiction here?

[OrangeMoon]

will you cancel it ;-)?--

 

The only way to find out if you can make things work is if you focus on one woman at a time. You are young and attractive. There will be many others waiting around once its clear that there is no future between the current one and you.

 

My feeling is just wondering if you are actually ready for this. The hold your ex got on you is still too strong..

 

This might just be yet another sexual infatuation you know..sex blindness..

 

But let's see where it will take you. Leave the other dates for now. You are not in a hurry. and you guys always know a line to feed the girls, so you could come back in a few months or weeks for that matter..

[22n32]

Can you spot the contradiction here?

 

 

Yes. I do. Let me rephrase that. I'm on my phone at lunch..

 

I meant more that I'm not pre projecting she is the one, just because of the connection..

 

But because there was a connection. Be nice too see if there is a chance..

 

But I'm very calm and okay about it with no expections..

[22n32]

will you cancel it ;-)?--

 

The only way to find out if you can make things work is if you focus on one woman at a time. You are young and attractive. There will be many others waiting around once its clear that there is no future between the current one and you.

 

My feeling is just wondering if you are actually ready for this. The hold your ex got on you is still too strong..

 

This might just be yet another sexual infatuation you know..sex blindness..

 

But let's see where it will take you. Leave the other dates for now. You are not in a hurry. and you guys always know a line to feed the girls, so you could come back in a few months or weeks for that matter..

 

I'm not that young. Lol

 

It's more then sex too me. I can get that anywhere..

 

Only reason I even had sex was of the connection. That I really didn't feel with the other dates..

 

Plus I think she is more infutated then me.. she seems to be more attracted to me then I am to her..

 

She said something like ur so sexy not just physically but as a man.. I was more attracted to that bond and care and love she brought to me that my ex didn't..

[johnnyp]

No offence dude but you remind me a lot of a guy I know that paints himself as a player and sleeps around quite a bit but is actually very insecure and lonely when push comes to shove. You say things like "I can get sex anywhere", "I'm totally over my ex" and "you can't play a player" but a lot of your threads paint a very different picture.

 

Maybe the way you're projecting yourself is why you seem to pretty consistently attract the female version of what you make yourself out to be (ie. a 'player'). My friend's exactly the same and all he attracts are the same kind of girls, when if he was just more honest about who he really is, he might have better luck in who he attracts, instead of the constant drama he ends up with from these loco girls.

 

A real player wouldn't get so hurt when women mess them around and also wouldn't believe a line like "I don't usually do this, but there's something about you". TBH a real player wouldn't be here at ENA in the first place Not a jab at you...just some advice about being yourself.

[OrangeMoon]

You are obviously still in that comparing phase..

 

Why do you want to be in a relationship so badly. All it might do is..you ending up in some 'good enough' situation..just to not have to be alone..

I fear for that young woman..i see hurting on her path.

 

If you want someone to connect with on an emotional level..get some girl friends..or have sex with some who can deattach themselves. But if this woman is obviously excited about your emo connection. combined with the love drug of your sexual chemistry..its a dangerous combo.

 

Especially since you are not into her on the same level. The ghost of your ex is still getting in the way. Every woman deserves to be connected to a man who feels 'she is all that' ..all that and more..your Princess..no your Queen!

 

You are not ready to truly connect yet. This might develop with some time though. But only you in your heart really know..if you can see her in that spot.

[22n32]

[RQUOTE=johnnyp;5074375]No offence dude but you remind me a lot of a guy I know that paints himself as a player and sleeps around quite a bit but is actually very insecure and lonely when push comes to shove. You say things like "I can get sex anywhere", "I'm totally over my ex" and "you can't play a player" but a lot of your threads paint a very different picture.

 

Maybe the way you're projecting yourself is why you seem to pretty consistently attract the female version of what you make yourself out to be (ie. a 'player'). My friend's exactly the same and all he attracts are the same kind of girls, when if he was just more honest about who he really is, he might have better luck in who he attracts.

 

A real player wouldn't get so hurt when women mess them around and also wouldn't believe a line like "I don't usually do this, but there's something about you". TBH a real player wouldn't be here at ENA in the first place Not a jab at you...just some advice about being yourself.

 

I never said I was a player Now!!! I changed my ways big time last 5yrs..

 

And I can get sex any where. Thats not my fault or problem. It just happens and I encoutre it a lot..

 

I'm over my ex. It's been 3 months. I think that's pretty good.. considering I loved her a lot..

 

I may seem I get hurt.. but Its a 12hr hurt. And over it quick..

 

I wear my heart on my sleve, when I was a player I didn't. But who wants to see an old aging player. Ive changed and for those reasons. I've changed my ways of dealing with it..

 

I'm on ENA because I'm forever learning and becoming a better person..

[22n32]

I'm sorry about ur friend.. but can't paint all painting with same brush.. in fact I'm not ever lonely. I have good family, friends...

 

I know why I chose certain women. Sadly it was looks and I thought I could build around that..

 

Just because my posts are all over with emotions.. means I'm true to my feelings and thoughts..

 

If u knew me in person. Then u would think as everone does of me.. I'm blunt I tell it how it is.. I don't lie.. if u don't like what I say.. don't listen.. I'm too honest at times but I've never waviered from that..

 

And this time, I didn't stritcly go off of looks.. its a trail and error..

 

But I'm not affraid to go outa my comfort zone.. that's what builds character and knowledge and who I am..

[22n32]

I don't wanna be in a Rel bad..

 

I might be comparing my ex. But its for the reasons that were lacking which is a good thing..

 

My heart feels ready to open and love for the right lady..

[CMS]

Haha, not quite true, a player can still come to ENA to learn something, I used to be a PUA but changed my ways when I met my ex and decided to learn more about what to do to keep a long term relationship after we broke up. A player can change their ways and want something more than string of one night stands, and often then end up here on ENA

[22n32]

Haha, not quite true, a player can still come to ENA to learn something, I used to be a PUA but changed my ways when I met my ex and decided to learn more about what to do to keep a long term relationship after we broke up. A player can change their ways and want something more than string of one night stands, and often then end up here on ENA

 

Exactly, its what happened to me..

 

Bunch of hot girls and one night stands will eventually get old after a while..

 

Can't tell that too a 21yr old guy.. Lmao

[johnnyp]

A player can change their ways and want something more than string of one night stands, and often then end up here on ENA

 

Yeah, that's my point. A player wouldn't come here...someone that used to be a player and isn't anymore would! A lot of what the OP says seems to be trying to paint himself very much as a current player, not an ex player, and it seems a little transparent TBH. But like he said, I don't know him from Adam, so all I can go on is what's said here. Was just a little advice from my own life and experience, based solely on how I read the situation and how I've seen this type of thing play out before.

[CMS]

Exactly, its what happened to me..

 

Bunch of hot girls and one night stands will eventually get old after a while..

 

Can't tell that too a 21yr old guy.. Lmao

 

Yup, haha I remember a few years back my old mentor told me he was giving up on sarging to become serious with this pretty average girl who is super cool and different. I did not understand him back then and thought it was the most absurd thing I have ever heard but I can see exactly where he was coming from now.

 

We all are going to grow out of our old ways and wanting something more, but you wont know or understand that till you actually experienced it yourself

[OrangeMoon]

so when does a former player know he is ready for the real work?

[22n32]

Yeah, that's my point. A player wouldn't come here...someone that used to be a player and isn't anymore would! A lot of what the OP says seems to be trying to paint himself very much as a current player, not an ex player, and it seems a little transparent TBH. But like he said, I don't him from Adam, so all I can go on is what's said here.

 

Common really.. once a player always a player in a way.. u will never lose how the game works.... ur main objective changes but u still know the details...

 

An ex football player after he retires isn't gonna forget how to play the football after he does..

 

U try to bring up some good details.. but u think in a very narrow vision.. u gotta think big and wide..

 

Just saying. Like u were

[GreenCupcake]

I think the transition is still tough for you even though you don't realize it. It's going to take a while.

[22n32]

Yup, haha I remember a few years back my old mentor told me he was giving up on sarging to become serious with this pretty average girl who is super cool and different. I did not understand him back then and thought it was the most absurd thing I have ever heard but I can see exactly where he was coming from now.

 

We all are going to grow out of our old ways and wanting something more, but you wont know or understand that till you actually experienced it yourself

 

Haha. That's awesome... Me too.. its how I feel..

[Batya33]

I think it's easy to be open and honest with a near stranger you lust after. So I agree with you that you have to wait and see whether you have enough in common for a long term relationship. Sounds also like you're turned on by being her hero/protector given all of her baggage. How do you feel about being a potential stepfather to her children? About being involved in a situation where their father (fathers?) abused the mother? Open/honest/multiple orgasms -all good - but there's a lot more to real life which I think you're sensing already....

[johnnyp]

No problem man. Worth considering though. Sometimes tough love can be hard to take when you're right in the middle of it and can't see that someone's just trying to help. If what I said was compeltely off the mark, I doubt it would've caused quite such a response. Doesn't really matter either way, as either I'm wrong or you refuse to accept my advice, which leaves no wiggle room either way

 

If I were you I'd definitely put more stock in the advice you get here from women though instead of other ex-PUA's. A player is by his nature pretty emotionally shallow, insecure and/or inept, based on the ones I've known well, otherwise they wouldn't behave that way or need tricks to get women to fall for them, so female advice here would certainly be preferable I'd say.