Daligal83 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I met a guy Saturday night at the bar. He started talking to me and we ended up talking for a couple hours and got along really well. He was flirty and mentioned going out several times to a specific place. When I left he got my number and mentioned again about going out to this place. Then about 15 minutes later texted me and said "have a good night it was nice meeting you" and I replied "Thanks! It was nice meeting you too Haven't heard a thing since then. I know there could be a million reasons why. Changed his mind, baggage, thinks the 3 day rule still applies, etc. It's just frustrating. I hate the waiting game. I hate not knowing. He initiated all of this, so why not follow through? He wasn't even drunk or anything. I feel like I always have one extreme or the other..the distant guy or the clingy guy. I was hoping this one would be the middle ground haha. Link to comment
Dubb Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 He will text you.. I would say in the next 24 hours unless something came up on his end. Link to comment
Jetta Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I ususally get clingy or not at all interested. Can't relate to distant but I know what you mean when you say it's frustrating. Link to comment
CookieMonster8 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Try to relax. It's been 2 days. If he doesn't text you by Wednesday count it as his loss. Don't cave and text him. Link to comment
Dubb Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Try to relax. It's been 2 days. If he doesn't text you by Wednesday count it as his loss. Don't cave and text him. lol it's not caving.. he already texted her the night he met. if a guy find you attractive a text from you isn't going to hurt anything.. you ladies sometimes...ha Link to comment
hers Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I say go ahead and write him tomorrow and invite him for coffee. Rules, schmules. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 God knows. Maybe he has a girlfriend and changed his mind. Maybe he has a boyfriend and changed his mind. Maybe he was recalled back into the Russian space program and is flying to the international space station next week. Maybe he lost his phone and can't find it. Maybe some other guy is going to call you that finds the phone. Maybe.... Maybe meeting guys at a bar isn't a good place to hook up anymore! Give it some time and just chill! Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 I have no problem texting a guy. I don't think it should all fall to him. But I really thought I'd hear from him by now. I'm not insanely upset or anything, just frustrated and disappointed because I clicked with him and would like to get to know him better. I was going to text him tomorrow night if I don't hear from him by then. I know it's ridiculous, but part of me is worried that he looked me up on Facebook and changed his mind. Saturday night I had my hair straight, makeup on and no glasses. My day to day look is no makeup besides foundation, curly hair and glasses. Maybe he doesn't like that look? People tell me all the time that I look very different with my hair straight, but that they like both. I know I don't get as much attention when my hair is curly though. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Okay seriously if he's that superficial that he looked at your facebook and turned the other way....what exactly are you waiting on a phone call for... He met you in person. The cards are on the table. Just wait for the flop. Maybe he already folded. You're holding a pair of pocket 7's. What do you do? Link to comment
Dubb Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I don't think it's that.. he talked to you in person for hours.. going back and looking a pics isn't going to kill it. He knows what he saw. Just chill a bit.. I really think you will hear from him very soon. if not, hit him up Wednesday afternoon. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 I hope you're right dubb. Just to clarify, I'm not freaking out so it's not a matter of chilling or anything. I can be disappointed and express it without it being me freaking out lol Link to comment
Dubb Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I hope you're right dubb. Just to clarify, I'm not freaking out so it's not a matter of chilling or anything. I can be disappointed and express it without it being me freaking out lol understood. I never not text a girl I text the same night meeting her.. It's a good way to show her you're a good guy and get your number in her phone right away Link to comment
CookieMonster8 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 lol it's not caving.. he already texted her the night he met. if a guy find you attractive a text from you isn't going to hurt anything.. you ladies sometimes...ha I'm old fashioned and I'm just saying he should be the first one to initiate a first meet up/date. I feel like a lot of guys I've talked to feel like if a girl texts them after giving a guy their number they think it means she is desperate. Better to be safe than sorry. If he is really interested he chase you. Better yet, instead of this texting crap let's hope he calls instead. Link to comment
Dubb Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm old fashioned and I'm just saying he should be the first one to initiate a first meet up/date. I feel like a lot of guys I've talked to feel like if a girl texts them after giving a guy their number they think it means she is desperate. Better to be safe than sorry. If he is really interested he chase you. Better yet, instead of this texting crap let's hope he calls instead. Hah, if I meet a girl I'm attracted to and we hit off..I'm going to be so much more at ease if she texts me and pretty damn happy. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 dubb, he called my phone right in front of me to give him his number, so he knew I had it and still texted me. There were so many positive things going on, that's why I'm surprised that I haven't heard from him. I have dealt with SO many flakes, it's hard for me not to assume this will go the same way. Link to comment
Dubb Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 dubb, he called my phone right in front of me to give him his number, so he knew I had it and still texted me. There were so many positive things going on, that's why I'm surprised that I haven't heard from him. I have dealt with SO many flakes, it's hard for me not to assume this will go the same way. I understand. I guess we will see what happens.. from my view it's looking pretty solid tho Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 You are beautiful everyday D- no matter how your hair looks. I'm sorry he hasn't contacted you yet. Hugs. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I know it sounds hard, but try not to think about it. Its true, there can be a million different reasons a man delays calling, and I would not even consider this a delay! I would recommend waiting for him to call/text, initiate the first meeting. If you really want, send a message after a week. The render-vous will be so much sweeter if he initiates. Men just don't get it. Women would love to get an invitation to something a few days out. It gives us time to do our nails, buy a new outfit, do yoga, or whatever it is a woman does "to get ready." When a guy waits to call...and I would not consider this waiting at this point, it does take a bit of sexiness out of the situation. If there is mutual attraction, a guy should simply not delay. If he does, he risks loosing her altogether. Just my opinion..... Link to comment
winniethepooh Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I know there could be a million reasons why. Changed his mind, baggage, thinks the 3 day rule still applies, etc. It's just frustrating. I hate the waiting game. I hate not knowing. He initiated all of this, so why not follow through? You answered your own question already Maybe he's also posting on here trying to figure out if you're interested or not . Have patience. Think of something you'd like to do in the next week or so, plan to do it, then invite him along. Try and think of something you'd enjoy whether or not he accepts. Whatever his response it, you will have more information, then you can post here again for it to be analysed to death by 20,000 ENA members Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Haha I don't know how people who don't have 20,000 ENA members to analyze everything exist! I think I'm sticking to the plan to text him "hey how is your week going?" and I'll probably do it tomorrow afternoon. I'm volunteering tonight and probably shouldn't be on my phone. Darcy, thank you so much for the compliment! I wish I had that confidence haha. I just get a little paranoid about it because people comment on the change in looks. I mean they say that they like both styles, but I always get those comments on how drastically different I look and sometimes people don't recognize me. Plus I struggle with making my curly hair look good...it's a bit crazy haha Link to comment
laura40 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I think you should text him. If he responds then great, you can both set up a date. If he doesn't respond then use it as an experience and move on. Link to comment
22n32 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 dating is so much fun... haha just kidding... 2 reasons are hes playing hard to get.. which are games... next... or he has a gf or seeing someone, and he liked u but changed his mind... either way this guy isnt worth it... ive talked to 7 girls last 5 days.. 1 is advancing to the next round... Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 I don't agree that those are the only two possible explanations. Life is too complex for that. Plus it's not like it has been a week, I just met him Saturday night. I ended up texting him a couple hours ago. He was very responsive, said he was just about to text me and after a couple chatty texts he asked me out. We decided on Thursday and he said he'd send me a text that afternoon to figure out the details. So we'll see! Link to comment
22n32 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I don't agree that those are the only two possible explanations. Life is too complex for that. Plus it's not like it has been a week, I just met him Saturday night. I ended up texting him a couple hours ago. He was very responsive, said he was just about to text me and after a couple chatty texts he asked me out. We decided on Thursday and he said he'd send me a text that afternoon to figure out the details. So we'll see! So let me ask u.. why would it take 3 plus days and he makes no contact??? No matter how busy you are u can make 5 minutes of time to send a hi text or something... My opnion its games or he is just not that into u.. but will play along if u make the effort.. which u did by contacting him. And do u really believe when u texted him he said oh I was about to text u? Common really.. I'm not saying its wrong for a girl to text first.. but after how u left it sat night.. maybe the next few text. He should of made the intital contact.. guys do like the Chase and women have a better understanding of the guys intrest.. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 Sorry, I just don't agree. It wasn't 3+ days....I left the bar a little after 2 am that night so it was like two days really. Maybe he really was about to text, maybe not, but he set the date up pretty quickly. If he wasn't interested or playing games I don't think he would have done that. There is no one way or the high way rules when it comes to dating for the most part. Each situation is different due to people's personalities, history, schedules, etc. I'm not saying that this will work out, but I don't agree that he's either playing with me or not interested just based off of what has happened so far. Link to comment
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