seretly posting on craigslist

[casey14]

My fiance and I have been together for about four years. Just this year we started talking about experimenting sexually and tried our first threesome. we met the other girl off of craigslist. Ever since then i've caught him twice posting ads on casual encounters of craigslist and replying to other womens ads looking for men without telling me. This made me feel like I don't do it for him anymore and I feel like he's not into me as sexually anymore. half the time he watches porn while we have sex. i told him i wouldn't mind so much about the craigslist thing only if he kept me involved and he hasn't been doing that. Just this week i saw that he made another email address separate from the one we share and use just so he could reply to craigslist ads. he doesn't know that i found the new email and i really dont know what to do. When i brought it up before he'd act mad when i'm the one who's supposed to be upset. How do I go about telling him that I feel like I'm not as attractive to him anymore without making him feel like an ass and getting mad? when i brought it up before he said he'd never really do anything and that it's just for fun.

[metrogirl]

It's not about your level of attractiveness. You opened Pandora's box when you agreed to a threesome. This is exactly why threesome's don't typically work out because now he's got the feel of two women at once and he's not going to be willing to give it up.

 

It's only a matter of time before he meets up with these girls and cheats on you.

[Notagoodninja]

Yep I am sorry but I agree with the above poster. He WILL cheat on you hun. You have to leave him now. That's kinda how I felt about my man. I was like "we can look at porn together" etc but instead he just went back to being a porn addict and womanizer and ultimately cheating...all while completely ignoring me and NEVER wanting sex!!!!!!!!!

[Notagoodninja]

(I mean, he didn't want sex from me much anyway and was a porn addict when I met him even though he lied and said he wasn't. But he had tried to not look at it cause then he wouldn't want sex. But he just stopped having sex so I thought looking at porn together would save us basically...but it just ruined us more...)

[FathomFear]

It's not about your level of attractiveness. You opened Pandora's box when you agreed to a threesome. This is exactly why threesome's don't typically work out because now he's got the feel of two women at once and he's not going to be willing to give it up.

 

It's only a matter of time before he meets up with these girls and cheats on you.

 

Well, I don't think it's fair to say that all people who enjoy threesomes are condemned to commit infidelity.

[metrogirl]

Well, I don't think it's fair to say that all people who enjoy threesomes are condemned to commit infidelity.

 

Perhaps not, but he is already secretly emailing other women which leads me to believe that he will likely go astray since he isn't exactly forthcoming with his communications to these other women.

[rocio]

Ew, why are you putting up with this?

[Mesemene]

First - you don't say how old you are, but it sounds like your fiance is wondering how much untasted cookie flavors he left on the shelf by picking his favorite 4 years ago. And it seems, whether he knows it's wrong or not, that deep down, he finds the flavor of forbidden fruit adds spice, and he's dipping his toes in the edges of that forbidden pool.

 

Second - Whether he's cheated yet or not - he's flirting with and enjoying the concept/idea of it. Nobody can be as fresh and exciting as they were initially - while you can introduce new adventures into your bedroom, if your fiance has too much adventurer/risk taker for a monogamous relationship to keep him satisfied, nothing you can do will change that - it has to come from within him.

[casey14]

I agree that I did start something that maybe I shouldn't have.

 

Mesemene: I'm 23 and he's 26. And he's never cheated on me. I know that before we started dating he didn't have alot of sexual experiences so that's probably why. When I brought this problem up to him before he said that he feels insecure about his leg (when he was younger he was in an accident where they had to stick a metal rod in his leg giving him a noticeable limp and for his leg to be noticeably smaller than the other) so he does these things to make people want him so he can feel good about himself.

 

thanks for the opinions guys. Just wanted to hear something from someone else so I don't go crazy.

[Notagoodninja]

Wow what an excuse lol "it's all because of my hurt leg, it's not about my penis!" ha yeah right!! I know you feel sorry for him but you're just gonna get hurt!

[casey14]

(I mean, he didn't want sex from me much anyway and was a porn addict when I met him even though he lied and said he wasn't. But he had tried to not look at it cause then he wouldn't want sex. But he just stopped having sex so I thought looking at porn together would save us basically...but it just ruined us more...)

 

yeah i wanted to watch porn with him too, because yes, i like porn sometimes, but he didnt seem as interested watching it with me than he would be watching it by himself.

[casey14]

Wow what an excuse lol "it's all because of my hurt leg, it's not about my penis!" ha yeah right!! I know you feel sorry for him but you're just gonna get hurt!

 

yeah i was thinking, well what about my feelings? Him looking for other women makes me insecure. thanks for the input. I just needed a fresh view of the situation. =)

[DylanNotorious]

Sorry, but did you really believe him when he said he only set up another email account just for fun? You don't honestly believe that do you?

[Notagoodninja]

Yuh that pissed me off too....................I'd be like, "let's look at porn!" cause I was feeling kinky and he'd be like "no thanks not today"

then he would just go off by himself and do it. F that. Any man who has a woman willing to LOOK AT PORN with him is a lucky bastard non deserving.

[Ms Darcy]

Well, you probably aren't enough for him anymore. He now knows and enjoys other options. I agree that this is what happens when Pandora's Box is opened. No more threesomes in your next relationshp.