lostinthecloud Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 I dated my ex for about 2 years (beginning of senior year of high school - end of freshman year in college). We were completely head over heals for each other. We had a very deep and meaningful relationship. I was his first sexual partner. And he was my 5th. We had the best sex during our 2 years together. It was passionate, intense, emotional, and very fulfilling. I had never experienced anything like that with any other guy. All the other guys I had been with were just...hook ups. He was the first guy I ever made love with. We ended up breaking up and had no contact with each other for about 7 months. It was the hardest 7 months of my life. It was devastating not having him in my life and it was crushing to go on dates with new guys and never have any spark what so ever. He finally contacted me and we slowly started talking again. At this point he was still living at his parents house. About a month or so after re-connecting, we met up. He had told me that he just moved in with a "friend" in order to escape his parents. A few days later he disclosed that he had sex with her and it was only sex, nothing else. That was very crushing for me to hear. For one, we had been talking for a month saying I love you and have missed you etc. Then he goes and has a casual fling with some girl. I took that as a betrayal. We ended up getting back together and he moved out of the apartment and back into his parents. We've now been back together for almost 5 months. Things are going well, but I find myself not wanting to have sex with him much (which is new because we used to have sex a lot). And when we do have sex, it is not nearly as intense or good as it used to be. My feelings during sex with him have dropped way lower than what it used to be. I don't know why. Because I do love him so much. Maybe it is because it still hurts me that he slept with 3 people while we weren't together. Maybe I feel that sex isn't as special as it used to be. I don't know. We've talked about it and he just keeps telling me to give it time and that sex will get back to the place it used to be. But I don't know. Link to comment
civilservant Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Ultimately it isn't your place to feel betrayed by anything he did while you weren't together, because, well, you werent together. That isn't to say this isn't partly the cause of your lowered sex drive or being 'as in to it' as before. I didn't really see a question in the post, so all I can assume is that you want to know if those feelings will return. They may, they may not. Have you discussed with him how you feel about the 'betrayal'? Link to comment
cocoon2012 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 why did you guys ended your relation in the first time?......., i am sure there are unresolved issues from that break up! Link to comment
jennysilver Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 sex with ex is generally bad idea. somebody usually has unrequited feelings... Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 There is no way I would or will ever do that... Link to comment
lostinthecloud Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 We have discussed how I felt betrayal. He understands and he tells me that none of that would have ever happened if he knew we were going to get back together. I know nothing could be changed, but at that time it didn't mean it would hurt less. Link to comment
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