loulou37 Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Had to post... Well my ex bf should be back at his flat tonight after his weekend at his wifes house with the kids... i don't know why but i expected a text to ask if he could call me but yea you guessed it, nothing i feel so hurt by his actions, this guy was so in love with me just 2 weeks ago, how can he just drop me like this....I'm so confused. I had it in my mind today that if i heard nothing from him then i know it's time to let go, so i guess that's it. I feel so numb from it all (for the moment) i know tomorrow it'll all start again, the sickness, the acid burning in my stomach and a pain like no other in my chest. sorry had to come here and write. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 He is your ex. He no longer cares to have you in his life. His silence verifies that. He had probably lost all feelings for you long before he told you. He most likely did not love you two weeks ago, he just said he did. Find someone who truly loves you. They are out there and a great guy is just waiting for you to show up. Link to comment
feellikeafool Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 He is your ex. He no longer cares to have you in his life. His silence verifies that. He had probably lost all feelings for you long before he told you. He most likely did not love you two weeks ago, he just said he did. Find someone who truly loves you. They are out there and a great guy is just waiting for you to show up. hey jig, i think your response is a little harsh, she knows there was love and is love, she knows he cares but is going through a hard time with a break up as we all are, only bcos he does not call does not mean he does not care, silence does not verify that, what it does verify is that he needs the time and space to get himself together. Lou as much as you wanted to hear from him and it hurts that he did not contact you, take the positives from this, if he had made contact no you would be back to day one and your healing process sent back to the start, keep up with the no contact you both need it, let go of the hope that you will get back together, if you do without him dealing with his current issues then you will only be back her after another breakup. let him do what he has got to do, accept that it is over however hard that may seem. then when he does contact you it will be a nice surprise and you will know that he is serious about you. but in order for this relationship to work at all you have to give him the time and the space needed to repair the damage that was done from the breakup with his wife and having to leave his family, that is a lot to deal with before jumping into another relationship. once he has dealt with it and you still chose to be together then it will be a healthier more fulfilling relationship Link to comment
loulou37 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 thank you so much feel, what you wrote there means a lot to me...you have put a smile on my face and made me feel a whole lot better. thanks for taking time to read my posts, i appreciate it x Link to comment
feellikeafool Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 thank you so much feel, what you wrote there means a lot to me...you have put a smile on my face and made me feel a whole lot better. thanks for taking time to read my posts, i appreciate it x hey lou, no worries, thats the purpose of this forum so we can all help, support and encourage each other at a time when we are at our lowest and feeling weak and vunerable, you will get there i promise, your doing really well, just think how much strength you have within you, he did not contact you but you also had the strength to stop your self from contacting him, thats a great achievement Link to comment
loulou37 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 hey lou, he did not contact you but you also had the strength to stop your self from contacting him, thats a great achievement you're right, thank you, how is your day going? Link to comment
feellikeafool Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 you're right, thank you, how is your day going? days going ok, a little slow but i'm ok, yesterday i was angry, today the tears have come, im trying hard to look at the positives a song just came on the radio and i thought that its so true, the words 'i deserve to smile' stuck out to me, have a listen, its leona lewis better in time do you work lou? Link to comment
loulou37 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 crazy you say that i was thinking about that same song this morning!! i only work part time, i try to keep as busy as possible but today it's hit me and i can't move Link to comment
feellikeafool Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 crazy you say that i was thinking about that same song this morning!! i only work part time, i try to keep as busy as possible but today it's hit me and i can't move you will make it through, think of positive things in your life and things that give you strength like your kids, what can you do to improve your own life, moving on really is the hardest part but once you accept, give up the hope it will make it easier for you to move on you will be surprised the small things that will give you a lot of pleasure, plan your afternoon with your kids, what would make them happy? go on a picnic, football in the park, reading a book or lazing on the sofa watching a fav movie of theirs, you will find peace and happiness through their happiness keep strong, we will get through this Link to comment
northpickle Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Just popping in this thread to say hello, ladies I'm nearly a month after break-up and I'm just finding the strength to start living my life again properly, small steps at a time. Don't beat yourself up if you don't feel up to doing much but just think about what you DO want to do, and as soon as you feel up to it put those plans in action Link to comment
quirky Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Just wanted to send a hug and say that I hope you Loulou and feelikeafook and pickle are hanging in there. These things take time, time is your only friend at the moment. Be strong (((hugs))) Link to comment
loulou37 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 He was in love with you 2 weeks ago but now he's your ex and he's got a wife and kids? Wow he moves fast, if I could accomplish that much in 2 weeks I'd probably be a CEO of a major company or something. this isn't my main post aniona Link to comment
loulou37 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 Just wanted to send a hug and say that I hope you Loulou and feelikeafook and pickle are hanging in there. These things take time, time is your only friend at the moment. Be strong (((hugs))) thank you quirky xxx Link to comment
digdug Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Hey you ... hang in there. You have been doing great. I understand reaching out and asking him to call you. I did that with my GF they day after we decided to need a break, and she did not respond. In retrospect, it was the best things that could have happened. It gave me time to work on myself ... concentrate on myself. I decided at that point that if I was going to be alone, and without her, that I needed to fix me first. That if I wanted to be any good for anyone, her or someone else, that I needed to be the best person I possibly could, to avoid this happening again. Yes, I had a good day yesterday, yes she and I are talking, but there are no guarantees that this is going to go anywhere for me. I STILL need this for me, and hopefully it will help our relationship evolve. Please take good care of yourself. Don't dwell on what he is doing, and do let it dictate how YOU are going to grow from this and have a future. I know that right now it feels like you have no future, but the fact that you are on here, seeking advice, shows that you care and you want to heal. We all care how you are doing, but we can't heal for you. You need to do that on your own, so that you can feel that sense of pride and accomplishment of having overcome such a difficult period so that it doesn't happen again. You will have a renewed confidence in yourself, and life. You'll know better what you want from a relationship and a partner, and that knowledge is key. Go find that for yourself. You deserve it and I for one have your back and know you have it in you. Link to comment
Liraele Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Hang in there. I go through the same cycle... it hurts like hell that he hasn't called, text'd, IM'd, emailed.... and it's tempting to initiate the contact just in the vain hope of easing the pain, in thinking that talking to them and reminding them that you exist, that you're hurting will somehow help or change their mind. Talking to someone who doesn't want to talk to you - or who DOES, but doesn't have the guts or the heart to initiate contact with you, and only will limit the conversation by their terms... hurts just as much if not more than no contact. Stay strong, and the pain gets easier to bear. Until then, one day at a time...one day at a time. Link to comment
northpickle Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Just wanted to send a hug and say that I hope you Loulou and feelikeafook and pickle are hanging in there. These things take time, time is your only friend at the moment. Be strong (((hugs))) Thanks Not my thread so I won't take up space but thank you for the kind words x Link to comment
loulou37 Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 Hang in there. I go through the same cycle... it hurts like hell that he hasn't called, text'd, IM'd, emailed.... and it's tempting to initiate the contact just in the vain hope of easing the pain, in thinking that talking to them and reminding them that you exist, that you're hurting will somehow help or change their mind. Talking to someone who doesn't want to talk to you - or who DOES, but doesn't have the guts or the heart to initiate contact with you, and only will limit the conversation by their terms... hurts just as much if not more than no contact. Stay strong, and the pain gets easier to bear. Until then, one day at a time...one day at a time. thanks liraele x Link to comment
feellikeafool Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Just wanted to send a hug and say that I hope you Loulou and feelikeafook and pickle are hanging in there. These things take time, time is your only friend at the moment. Be strong (((hugs))) thank you quirky, its really nice of you to leave us a msg like that, means a lot Link to comment
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