Angry that fiance broke my trust

[confused9]

I'm really angry that my fiance was just extremely disrespectful to me in front of his friends this afternoon. He had had a few beers and was a bit tipsy by the time I had met up with him, and I was with them he started joking in front of everyone about how I wouldn't let him go on all these trips last year b/c he hadn't bought me an engagement ring. This is partly true b/c I was upset that he had continuously been telling me he was going to propose but didn't have the money for a ring, yet wanted to travel to all these other countries. I never said he couldn't go, but I did say that he was making choices with his money that conflicted with what he was promising me.

 

We had a really rough year last year because I was so tired of him telling me the engagement was coming and then it not coming, he had upset me many times. And now he just threw it in my face in front of his friends. I know he thought he was being funny, but even his friends said he was taking it too far. I'm so angry that I don't want him coming home tonight. I don't know what to do. He was making fun of me for other things, smaller things that wouldn't normally have bothered me, but it just pissed me off more.

 

I don't know what he can do to make up for this. It made me feel like I was marrying a child. Who says that about someone that they want to marry? Does this mean he doesn't want to marry me? That's what it felt like.

[OptomisticGirl]

I wouldn't have any kind of conversation with him until he is sober.

[DN]

Looking past the drunkenness and the fact it was inappropriate that he bring this up in front of his friends, i think it likely that he still harbours resentment over the ring issue and at some point you should address that with him.

[Mesemene]

Looking past the drunkenness and the fact it was inappropriate that he bring this up in front of his friends, i think it likely that he still harbours resentment over the ring issue and at some point you should address that with him.

 

Have to agree here. When he's sober, tell him frankly that you were hurt when he was promising engagement to you and saying money was the issue at the same time as he was proposing spending a lot of money on other things, that to you, it felt like his promise and the engagement were less important to him than the trips.

 

Maybe if you can talk about it without arguing, he'll understand better where you were coming from.

[DN]

You should also ask him if he resents forgoing those trips - they may have been more important to him that you know.