floridagirlal Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Men with low testosterone, I need your answers. My husband was recently told that his testosterone was low and the dr put him on androgel. It seems to be working too! The reason that he went to the dr in the 1st place was because I wanted it way more than he was able to give it. He would have been happy to go for a week and only do it once. I want it every night. I want it in the middle of the night. I want it in the morning. I want it whenever I can get it. I'm 39 and he's 40. How do men with low testosterone feel about having sex? Are they repulsed by it? Does it gross them out? I don't him to be grossed out by me wanting to be with him. I REALLY want him to initiate it in the middle of the night or in the morning. He has NEVER done that to me. I know he used to do it to his ex-wife because I found a note that he had written about it. Is he not as attracted to me? Why won't he do those things to me?? Sometimes, like today, I'm taking it personally. What is it really like to have low testosterone? Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 As men age, and depending on their overall health, testosterone diminishes. And at the same time, your estogen level are decreasing and your testosterone may be increasing....so you've got you wanting more and him wanting less! Ack!!! I would think that as it is a hormone, it will take a while to "come up to speed", but just talk to your husband and see if you can't find a compromise. They are not repulsed by it (they are still men!!!), but it's not a driving force. And, depending, they still want to perform --- but they ain't 20 anymore!!! Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Judging from your post it seems like its all about you. He is at least doing something about it and taking drugs, can you compromise with him? I mean thats how relationships work right? Link to comment
floridagirlal Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 Ack!! is right! I spent 18 years trying to avoid sex with my ex husband and now I can't get enough! I guess the tables have turned! I know that all those years that I was trying to avoid it, I just became disgusted with the thought, a kiss, a touch, everything! I DON'T want him to feel that way about me!!! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Remember too, men have the highest testosterone levels at like 18-23 . Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 While the hormone therapy will help, a conversation about how he feels would help more! Link to comment
floridagirlal Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 Guynextdoor - My only choice in this IS to compromise. It's pretty obvious that I can't MAKE him do this if he doesn't want to or doesn't feel it. If you go back and re-read my post, you'll see that I'm asking for guys to respond with the way that they feel. I'm not trying to find answers on how to make him do it my way. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 It seems like the diagnosis of low testosterone is all the rage these days. While low sex drive is one symptom it poses problems in other areas as well. Fatigue, insomnia, weight gain, etc, are often what alert doctors to the possibility. I highly doubt that this is the origin of all your issues. You need to remember that you're at your sexual peak age (~40) whereas he is not. You're essentially the equivalent of a a young 18 year old guy with raging hormones. And I really doubt he's grossed out by sex. Perhaps indifferent or not interested due to his sex drive problems, but I doubt he's grossed out. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 It seems like the diagnosis of low testosterone is all the rage these days. While low sex drive is one symptom it poses problems in other areas as well. Fatigue, insomnia, weight gain, etc, are often what alert doctors to the possibility. I highly doubt that this is the origin of all your issues. You need to remember that you're at your sexual peak age (~40) whereas he is not. You're essentially the equivalent of a a young 18 year old guy with raging hormones. And I really doubt he's grossed out by sex. Perhaps indifferent or not interested due to his sex drive problems, but I doubt he's grossed out. Exactly, women peak in their 30's and men peak very early in life. Link to comment
floridagirlal Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 Mhowe - I can't get him to open up very much about it. He only tells me that he just didn't want it very much. I already know that!! I want to know if he's thinking, "Oh no! I have to do it again?!!??" lol.... Link to comment
happyfrank Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 floridagirlal do you have kids with husband? Link to comment
mhowe Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 No pun intended, but let it go for a few weeks until his body has completely assimilated the new level of hormones. You might find that now he wants it more -- it really wasn't totally under his control. Try to focus on non-sex related fun --- men don't like to talk about not performing. And the use of didn't hopefully means that he may want it more now. Hope this has been helpful.... Link to comment
floridagirlal Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 No, I don't have kids with him. I do have kids, though. Link to comment
Alezia Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 There is a huge difference between a low sex drive and being repulsed by someone! Don't jump to conclusion unnecessarily!! He's obviously putting some effort by going on meds, so I would imagine that he is still into you and would like to please you. Link to comment
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