xStitches Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I'm at the point where a lot of people are offering advice like, "Move on" and "He doesn't deserve you." I can understand both of those sentiments - especially since it is hard for people on the internet to have an idea of whether or not your relationship was good enough to fight for. But I can't be the only one that just doesn't want to give up hope that we will get together? I'm not talking about shutting myself up inside and weeping myself into premature old age, but I do think that I can work on getting over the relationship while still having the goal of reconciliation. Does anyone else feel this way? I mean, it's the "getting back together" board, so I feel like I'm probably not alone. I've been reading a lot about relationships and break ups. I've been reading a lot about reconciliation. I vacillate between hope and despair. But at the end of the day, I do feel like I'm in the prime situation for reconciliation. For one, our breakup wasn't bad. I listened to his numerous reasons (most of which can be summed up by his paralyzing fear of the future and of failure), and I feel like I responded well. I let him know that I didn't want to break up and felt we could deal with his issues together, but I would respect his decision. I told him that my door was open to him if he changed his mind, but he would have to prove that he had dealt with things. In turn, he responded by telling me how much he loved me, how great I was, and how he was sorry that we had met while he was so young and confused. Second, he has demonstrated that both the attachment and attraction are still very strong between us. Finally, after four months, he is still trying to "pull" because he misses our friendship. It was very upsetting to him when I told him that I needed NC to begin to heal, but he said he would rather miss me than keep causing me pain. So here I am. One week NC. I would be lying if I said that I didn't hope it would bring him back. But even more, I want it to give us BOTH time to heal. I hope it will give him time to see that the "grass isn't greener" and also to mature. I want him to see what it's like to be without my support and learn to appreciate it - instead of feeling like it makes him weak. I want to deal with my need to take care of him - something he listed as his main problem in the break up. Just being in NC will force me to accept that I cannot protect him. I want to give him a ring in a few months and start LC. I want to see if we can rekindle that early spark, but take better care of it. What do you think? Link to comment
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