princess5 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Hi everyone... just want a quick bit of advice. Have been feeling a little down lately.. I'm not working as I am doing a new course in order to change my career. At the moment Im living at home and my boyfriend is working in a city almost two hours away. I've noticed that he isn;t calling me as much. Like today, I heard nothing from him at all until half past eleven tonight. I'm lonely and bored and he knows that. I'm a bit annoyed that he made no effort to contact me at all today. I didn't contact him as I thought he may be busy in work. But he isn't busy in the evening time. He could have checked in on me. Am I wrong for being put out by this? I know I could have called him first, but I'm just feeling down. Advice? Link to comment
indea08 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I don't think you're being petty. Long distance is very hard to handle. It's really hard to be into someone that you can't hang out with, lay together and watch movies, or talk about your day with. I wouldn't worry too much, though. Maybe he's one of those people that just don't like to text all day? I know it's cute sometimes when they text just to say hi, but if he did it everyday, it wouldn't make you smile anymore, it would be expected. See what I mean? Just be patient until one of those nights come when you get in a really good talk, and things will be good again. Link to comment
princess5 Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 He usually calls and texts a few times dring the day but nothing today until really late. I guess he would say, you could have contacted me first... but it would be nice to have heard froim him Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 The problem is that you're lonely and bored, and that the lack of other interests and stimulation in your life means that you're more dependent on your boyfriend than is really healthy for either of you. I don't think you're being petty or wrong, but you're looking for your boyfriend to be the source of your good feelings - and this really doesn't work. Partly because those good feelings need to come from within - in whatever way works for you - and partly because it is a huge pressure on another person and likely to make them pull away a bit. I'm guessing that this is what may be happening. It's not your boyfriend's responsibility to 'check in' on you as if you were a sick child and he were your parent. It's not your boyfriend's responsibility to alleviate your feelings of boredom and loneliness; if your life is feeling empty when he's not around - what a great opportunity to fill it! This will not only make you feel better, but make you a more interesting person and have more to give your relationship. At the moment it sounds as though you are feeling so down you have nothing to give, and are expecting him to take care of all that. This can feel a bit of a burden for the other person. If you're just feeling down at the moment, and can pick yourself up - that's great. If you are feeling more serious depression and this is part of an ongoing situation, then think about getting professional help if necessary. Good luck, whatever happens! Link to comment
indea08 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I know how you feel, I did the distance thing for awhile...I was always excited to hear from him, and when I didn't, I felt like he was more into doing whatever he was doing instead of simply saying hi to me. Then I wondered, what could he possibly be doing that's so enticing that he can't spend 30 seconds to send a text? If he usually texts/calls everyday, I bet he was sitting at home thinking the exact same thing you were doing. Ask him? Link to comment
princess5 Posted August 29, 2011 Author Share Posted August 29, 2011 I was thinking about leaving it until tomorrow to talk to him.. i'm just a bit off and don't wanna snap at him. Is this a good idea? Link to comment
indea08 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 you're looking for your boyfriend to be the source of your good feelings - and this really doesn't work. Partly because those good feelings need to come from within well said. something i'm still trying to work on myself. Link to comment
indea08 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 yes, it's a good idea. things always look brighter in the morning. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I was thinking about leaving it until tomorrow to talk to him.. i'm just a bit off and don't wanna snap at him. Is this a good idea? Yes, it's only been one day.....if this becomes the norm then you would have something to be slightly concerned about. There will naturally be days you don't speak as often. Link to comment
feenyx Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 The problem is that you're lonely and bored, and that the lack of other interests and stimulation in your life means that you're more dependent on your boyfriend than is really healthy for either of you. Agreed! Pick up a hobby. I notice that I perk back up once I start working or when I'm enjoying myself. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 How often do you call or initiate communication with him? Link to comment
greywolf Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Did you already contact him today or were you just waiting for him? If you had already contacted him, then I get why you're upset about it, but if you were just waiting for him to contact you, why couldn't you just go ahead and contact him if you wanted to hear from him? Link to comment
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