The Shy Story- Calling all Shy and/or "Nice" Guys!

[vacation]

Starting this as young as 22 is a great thing. Because you are at the stage where you are trying to get your "life handled" by applying to different jobs and testing the waters trying to find what you like/are good at. This is the perfect time to approach women and also find out what you like because you are still young, inexperienced, and likely will not take rejection as bad as a 30 year old. Also at 22 your ego will take a bit of a hit which is a good thing and make you more humble and in time, a true chick magnet.

 

Not being able to hold a conversation or not knowing where to pick up women are common questions and problems guys have when they first start out. The mentality guys have is "what do I need to say to impress this girl" instead of "what is it about this girl that I am so attracted to"

 

The first frame of mind "what do I need to say to impress a girl" will always keep you in your head thinking about what to say next which means that:

• You won't hear what she's saying
  
• You wouldn't care
  
• You're going to run out of things to say
  

 

Whereas if you're trying to find out "what it is about this girl that makes her so attractive to me" then you will

• actually LISTEN to what she has to say
  
• Will not suck up to her
  
• Hold your own opinions
  
• End up having a looongg conversation
  
• Ask certain types of questions without holding back
  

 

The mindset is different. You are 22 which means that you have 22 years of life experiences to share. Anything from travelling, school, friends, and interesting stories. Link them together and practice how to tell them in a story.

 

I don't have a problem with guys going to clubs. You can meet lots of women there but just know that rejection comes a bit more harshly. If you can get over that your learning curve will be HUGE. Loud places like nightclubs are a great way to break the touch barrier and make things intimate by whispering in her ear.

 

Go out to nightclubs if you want. I'm not gonna advise you against it. Try different things and see what works for you.

 

For nightclubs make sure you;

• Dress Appropriately (Wearing a 3 piece Armani suit to a bar is not appropriate). Look at the guys who do well and see what they're wearing.
  
• Approach women the second you make eye contact
  
• Ice breakers are effective when talking about what they're wearing
  
• You have to have a game plan (logistics to bring her home)
  
• Constantly keep escalating physically
  
• A hint of a cocky attitude will get you further
  

 

For other places and meeting women scroll back to my original post and even the 2nd or 3rd page. I've made some relevant posts there that are worth reading.

[ClarenceRutherford]

I see AdviceWanted, MNF, Bluesman & even Vacation are gone.

Corvidae's still posting on ENA, though.

 

Would be interesting hearing any updates.

 

How are you guys doing with your approaches to women?

 

Vacation offered some solid advice here. Would be good to hear if any of you applied ( & experienced success with ) some of the advice he provided.

 

MODS: I know this is an old thread, but the advice is useful & could help many single men in similar situations. Please allow it to stand.

[Loners]

I have to admit that this thread is very inspiring and the advices sound good. But it just feels awkward to try them out. Nobody else in my surrounding campus or otherwise do these things unless they are in clubs or at parties and since I am not interested in those environments I feel strange when I try to look random girls in the eyes. I feel I am weird and strange simply because nobody else do these things.

 

And the last few days trying looking random girls in the eyes has also felt weird. At the beginning, I thought it to be fun and I actually enjoyed it. However, three days later I now feel wrong about doing it. Now I have difficulties even trying to look random girls in the eyes. I mean, what is going on?! Isn't it suppose to be the opposite way?

 

I am beginning to get discouraged about doing this...

[Capricorn3]

Thread is seven years old and the OP has not returned for 6 years. Thread closed.