Does he like me? Or is he just a nice guy?

[Goddess4ever]

How do you tell the difference between a guy that like you....or is genuinely a nice guy? For starters, I got out of a 5 year relationship 2 months ago...so it has been awhile since I have had to stop and figure this out. I am almost 25, he is 28...and it is a guy that I work with. He is aware that my ex and I broke up....anyways.....my one friend thinks that he likes me based on what I have told her...however, I am not sure if he is just being friendly/nice. So here is the rundown:

 

1)He always calls to see if we all want coffee, so he can bring it in on his way to work. Numerous times I told him I didn't have any money on me...and he said "get me next time...or don't worry about it"..and would get me coffee anyway...or would refuse the money I would try to pay him.

 

2)A few times we went to get coffee, and on the drive over he would tell me some "personal" things about his family. When we would get to the coffee shop he would open the doors for me.

 

3)He asked me to do him a favour with ebay...so we exchanged email addresses. I emailed him about a particular item he wanted...to see if that was what he wanted. He responded with the info. However, the email started with "Good Morning Sunshine!" with a big happy face. Then asked how I was, if I had a good sleep, and to have a good weekend and not party too hard.

 

4)One day I called in sick due to pneumonia, and I was joking around about what they had all said about me when I was gone. It seemed as though they did say something (They didn't), but he wouldn't tell me. So after about half an hour of me bugging him, I got a little upset...didn't talk foe the rest of the shift and left. The next day he called me aside and said that he was sorry for making me upset, and didn't mean to offend me etc, etc. I just tolf him a was screwing around and don't get offended easily.

 

5)I am always joking around with him...and some mild flirting...but the jokes I make are usually sexual in nature. He laughs at what I say

 

6)This past week, I have been in a bit of a funk. I haven't been talking a lot at work or joking around. I went to get the movie that I lent him back in another room and he kep asking me if I was okay. I was like "yeah I am fine" And he said "well, ya know, you have been so quiet...." and made reference to talking to him if I needed to....or helping me out, "being there for me"...or something along those lines. And said "You are not making fun of me like you usually do!" I said "Oh, I get it! You just like the attention"...and he kinda blushed laughed and smiled.

 

 

So that is the basic run down. My friends think he does...but I think he is just being a "nice guy". The thing is, I always tease him, or flirt a little....and he just laughs, and doesn't say anything back. I almost always have to initiate a conversation....as he rarely does. He doesn't "stare" at me...and I don't think I have ever caught him "looking" at me. SO...from an outsiders point of few.....do you think that he does...or is he just being a friendly nice guy? Any help would be appreciated!

[TOA]

Bloody girls! haha - why can't you say if you like him or not! Why does the poor bloke have to do all the work?!

 

It kinda does sound like he likes you, but I even offer to pay and not accept a ladies money, of course any gentleman should always hold a door open for a lady!

 

I think he does, why don't you invite him to a party or show interest in something he is doing on the weekend, see if he invites you?

 

Have fun!

[nenez]

Yes he does. And he is a nice guy so if i were you id go for it. its not as if there are that many nice guys out there going loose!

I suggest the following,

Take him to one side and thnk him for all the nice things he has been doing for you and how it has helped.

Make it clear that you are over your ex and feel much better.

Ask him if he'd like to do somehting out of work, keep it light and casual.

If he responds take it from there.

If he backs off you can retreat gracefully without having risked the friendship.

Remember not too play to many games with his feelings at work; if he does really like you it will wind him up and confuse him. Be staraiight and nice to him as much as you can. If you feel down confide in him before he has the chance to be brushed off and feel hurt.

Keep sexual jokes to a minimum. They are ussually used as a keep out barrier between men and womn not as a come on oddly enough. Locker room stuff esablishes you as both on the same side and in this case you need to be on opposite sides if you see what i mean.

Good luck with it

Nenez xx

[Goddess4ever]

He is hardly doing ANY of the work...lol....that is why I am not sure. I have made comments about the weekend, and he says nothing! He really is a nice guy, who is happy and laid back...that is why I am confused!

[nenez]

In that case you need to ask him outright if he would like to go out. No hints. If he says no, you'll have to take it. If he says yes you're on. However if you have hinted that hard and he hasnt taken the bait, maybe he is just a nice guy.

Id go for it. At worst he can say no, at best it will be something good.

Even if he says yes to going out it can still be friends, theres plenty of back off space.

[DopeStar]

He does like you but hes to much of a wuss to ask you out. If you really want a guy like that to take you out your gonna have to do something.

[TOA]

How do you feel about him?

 

Are you over your ex?

[Goddess4ever]

I am not sure how I feel about him. I am definitely attracted to him, not sure if I would "date" him. I am over my ex for sure...but I do have some lingering emotions that have more to do with me than the ex (like self-esteem....which I am working very hard at). My self-esteem hasn't plumented by any means....but I am working on fixing those negative thoughts I have on bad days. Also...I forgot to mention one thing...that REALLY made me start to wonder. I usually wear my hair up....well last week I wore my hair down. And he said "OH! Your hair is down. Looks good"...then later asked me why I chose to wear it down that day.

 

To be honest...I have had dates/realtionships where I have had to do all the work and initiating. Normally I may have acted on this...but I would like to be chased for once....but I am not sure if I like him in a romantic sense...is that weird? I was thinking of just emailing him, thanking him for his concern today....would that be weird?...lol. Like I said, I have been out of the loop for awhile!

[Goddess4ever]

ummmm....anyone else?

[aireyc]

Bleh, well if you're posting you must care some for him. Personally, I'm a nice guy and do nice things for ladies. Sadly, they never appreciate it and just try to use me (I always put a stop to it though). I say that since this guy is nice, he probably doesn't dislike anyone, or at least you. If he's nice to you he either likes you or doesn't hold grudges... either way you can win. It's hard to tell how much he likes you since he could be just nice (I am the same as him).

 

I would do the same to him, just in different ways. Always be sure to say "hi" and act friendly, and return the niceness. If he does like you he may open up more and reveal it. He may be testing you to see if you are the nice girl he thinks you are. I'd just act nice for now, and if it was meant to be you will find out.

 

Chris

[Derek]

Life is too short.

 

Ask the dude out to a coffee or drink or casual whatever, outside the office.

 

If he is such a nice guy, then he won't be offended if you read the signals wrong and the friendship will not be messed up because he's so understanding right?

 

But my guess is he is nice guy that is not sure where he stands with the girl on the rebound so he is too scared to risk rejection on the nice girl. So you need to do the first risk for him, he can take care of the rest.

 

 

 

[Goddess4ever]

The problem of course is that I work with him! I did email him and tell him I was sorry for seeming rude to him....and ty for all the coffees he brings me. He did tell me some more personal stuff at work yesterday (about an ex). I was bugging him...and joking around, asking if he was lonely. He told me that sometimes he is. After he told me that and about the ex....I asked him if he was ready again to get back into the "dating game" and he said yes. After that he seemed a little distant or something, and I didn't really talk to him the rest of my shift. That is what I mean....he just stops talking sometimes, and walks away. So most of the time I think that he doesn't have feelings for me THAT way. Sorry...but I don't want to chase anyone who is not interested...and I don't want stuff going around at work. If I got a clear signal from him, maybe I would act on it. I think I am sending HIM some pretty clear signals. Anyways....thanks for everyone's input!