Ways to Tell if A Man is a Pick-Up Artist Con

[Silverbirch]

So what types of techniques are you guys talking about that only work PUA and not in lasting relationships?

 

LaKings, sounds like you have your head on your shoulders right with your employment, studies, and yes, the girl really doesn't sound like great relationship material for anyone. Nice idea for a tattoo! Hey, my father was Italian too!

[GhostRocket]

So what types of techniques are you guys talking about that only work PUA and not in lasting relationships?

 

It's quite simple. Pick up artists employ techniques to do just that, pick up a girl. Get their foot in the door instead of being normally rejected 15 seconds after they've introduced themselves in a normal approach. But that's it. Relationships are more complicated. There are way too many variables to account for. That would be like asking for techniques on how to perfectly raise your children. PUA is simply mundane and serves only as a means to get to know someone initially and attract the opposite sex through mostly means of conversation. Nothing more.

[Silverbirch]

Oh well, in that case, PUA is a lot less than I thought it was. I was thinking more in terms of scamming. I wouldn't mind reading some of those books though - just for fun and interest.

[LaKings55]

I've even heard of some that have actually used women in developing their materials. David DeAngelo comes to mind. Generally most of these seem to deal with general appearance, demeanor, and just how to approach women.

 

And thanks Silver, like I said. I realize now that I can go farther in life alone. Maybe down the road I'll meet someone who takes my breath away, but I wont seriously consider marriage before 30. As far as my tattoo. Even my folks who weren't thrilled when I got one actually really like the design. My dad is actually jealous, since his is some demon on a motorcycle thing that he regrets and has faded and blurred the older he gets do the amount of detail. Mine is so simple and clean, that I can easily get it touched up, or just leave it and it will stay clear enough. It's great for me to have that little motivation everyday. It's what gets me to run that extra mile on the treadmill, or do that many more reps with the weights. Not that I'm condoning tattoos. I was going through a really rough time, and I happened accross that phrase while doing research on Rome and latin. That phrase inspired me, and as I turned things around, I felt compelled to have it done. As far as my ex goes, it will take someone with a lot of patience and understanding to handle her. I tried my best, but it was too much. But, since she was still in love with her abusive ex and loves to be a victim, she'll never go for someone like that. In the end, the guy will either have to be a major pushover or a complete jerk, so either way, she loses

[LaKings55]

I mean women aided and were surveyed/interviewed for these materials

[Silverbirch]

It's going to all work out well for you LaKings. You piqued my interest in learning what my own family motto is. How did you search yours? If I want to google it, what are best keywords?

 

Just did a quick google, and looks like my ancestors were French, but in my family's case, migrated to Italy. The surname IS very French sounding - same spelling and meaning in both languages. Ta.

[LaKings55]

Oh, it's not a family motto. Not sure if my family has one, though my great-aunt said something about a family crest one time, might need to look into that. It's just one of those roman/ latin sayings, like in vino veritas (in wine...truth) vide et credere (see and believe) vincam qut moriar (I will conquer or die) labore et honore (by labor and honor) But yes, I was raised to be very proud of my Italian heritage (not flaunt it like a Jersey-shore sideshow, lol) but to appreciate the culture, language, and history. I wanted something in Italian, but la bella lingua, though very pleasant and the closest living language to Latin, is a little too soft for tattoos. So, I went with Latin and the Roman symbol for honor and strength, the eagle

[LaKings55]

Sorry for continuing to go off topic here, but I even went the extra mile of using Roman style text, I guess what you'd expect on Roman tablets or monuments. Think Roman numerals. I've seen other "Luctor Et Emergo" tattoos before, but they always go with loopy, scrawling text. I needed something that would continuously remind me of strength

[Silverbirch]

LaKings, just found out my family crest bears the words, "In Veritate Victoria" - translation - "Victory in Truth" - I like it!

[LaKings55]

Yeah, that sound awesome. In fact, kinda makes me want another tat, lol.

[Fudgie]

PUAs creep me out, to be honest.

 

I've read their stuff and it seems kind of back-handed and a little manipulative. Hitting on multiple women to raise your "social status" before you go in for your target? Give me a break. I think you should only flirt with and hit on women who you're genuinely interested in. It's just plain rude to hit on someone and give them the wrong impression, only to not pay attention to them anymore as you go in for your target. If this was done to me, I would think that the guy was a total douche, not a "omg awesome dude!" Do PUAs really think we are that stupid?

 

PUAs just turn clueless guys into douches. You want better skills with women? How about taking up some hobbies and making female friends? No better way to learn how to relate to women than to be friends first and see what they like. No manipulation involved.

[LaKings55]

Never heard of using multiple women then going for one specifically. The one's I've heard about are all about creating attraction. Well, maybe what I'm referring to aren't "PUA" methods, but more just creating confidence, attraction, etc. What you describe does basically sound rude and manipulative.

[Fudgie]

Never heard of using multiple women then going for one specifically. The one's I've heard about are all about creating attraction. Well, maybe what I'm referring to aren't "PUA" methods, but more just creating confidence, attraction, etc. What you describe does basically sound rude and manipulative.

 

It's just what I've read in one book (forget which one). But I have heard that flirting with multiple women and going on "practise dates" with women who do not know that they are being used for "practise" is one PUA technique.

 

I don't agree with that at all. I would not want anything to do with a guy, romantic or even less, who is like that because it shows that he thinks so little of others' feelings. They are just "pawns" he can use to work on himself so he can actually get laid.

[galaxy71]

I do admit that having purely platonic female friends might make a guy less needy around women because he will be less likely to only look at women as potential targets. However, none of the female friends I made ever instructed me directly or indirectly on how to flirt. They never talked about how to be interesting without trying too hard. When I hung out with my female friends, I never heard them compare notes on how different guys approached them. The only thing these female friends talked about were their hobbies and interests and gossip about people in their social circle. They didn't talk about how their boyfriends and male friends went from shy, socially awkward boys to charming, confident men. I don't know what I can learn when some female friend of mine is dating some guy who looks like Fabio.

[Fudgie]

Funny, I am friends with a lot of males and am happy to tell them (in a platonic way of course) what women like or may like, or how to approach certain situations, or how to be a better partner overall.

 

For some guys, the mere idea of going up and talking to a female can suffocate them. So I think having female friends is a step in the right direction to just get them comfortable and TALKING to women in general, not just romantically. He'll be much more likely to approach a female if he is comfortable with them on a friend level rather than no level at all.

[Silverbirch]

Yes, I read about that horrible method of hitting onto multiple women before moving onto the real "target" in a book review of "The Mystery Method". That was the book I was referring to when I said I was also creeped out. I don't think the guys posting here are referring to that type of strategy though Fudgie. I agree it is very ick. With regard to female "friends" though, there are also guys who collect a circle of female friends and line them up (I'm sure there are women who do this too) so that they will have a member of the opposite sex to fall back on if they tire of their present relationship. The thing is, it's also hard to tell if a person of the opposite sex does genuinely just like you as a friend. One of the strategies in one of those books is for the men to give a type of story as to how they are only available for friendship so that women let their guard down. Similar (or maybe even the same) as the strategy previously mentioned earlier from "The Mystery Method".

[Fudgie]

I haven't had any problems finding genuine male friends. A good way to do this is to find those who already have girlfriends (not hard), find them doing an activity that you like (PUAs will scour bars and clubs for women, not be in a book club!), and if you're friends for a while and they haven't talked about or done anything inappropriate plus (extra brownie points) you meet their SO too, then chances are very good that they are genuine. Those who aren't tend to try to hit on you in a very short amount of time because just doing the friendship is too much effort.

[Silverbirch]

Good advice Fudgie!

[Fudgie]

I like yours too! Gotta be careful out there!

[Silverbirch]

Hey Thanks Fudgie

[LaKings55]

Frankly, all the female friends I've ever had give the worst advice. Everything is glossy, Disney-esque, princess fantasy world type stuff. I've heard many a women describe what basically comes off as a wussy as their dream guy, yet the men they date are jerks, huge disconnect. Why? Because the attraction isn't there with "very nice guys." Now, I get that system you described is wrong. Yes, using some women as pawns, misleading them, all very wrong indeed. I've seen others that recommends men should just get in the habit of talking to random women throughout their day. At work, at stores, wherever. This gets men over their fear of speaking to women. Now, I know a lot of women who take nearly every guy who walks up to them as a "player," and seem to get creeped out if you just ask what time of the day it is. On another note, a lot of women are with men who will not tolerate them being around other men. I don't know a whole lot of guys who take too kindly to their girlfriend hanging around other guys on a one-on-one basis, or even as a group. Case in point, my ex (who had become my friend through another friend before we ended up together, had a a****** bf before me) She said multiple times that she couldn't tell him that she was going out to clubs/bars, or doing anything with us, because he would flip out that she was around other men. And guess what, when they broke up, I ended up with her, and frankly I could have had her before that as well. So the jealous, controlling fear is not unfounded sometimes. Just as women fear when their bf goes to Vegas without them, guys fear similar things. Everyone might say that's a trust issue, and irrational, but it's just how people are. People may say what they want in a partner, and give advice on how to attract members of the opposite sex, but a lot of the time they're skipping out on reality. People say things like "Oh, if you like a girl, you should just tell her!" Yeah...like that works. All you get is a rejected man who feels slighted by women. Let's face it, rejection sucks. Men get rejected a lot, so they turn to these systems hoping they don't get rejected as much anymore, or they shrug it off and move on the next. Women hold the upper hand with selecting a partner, since I don't know a whole lot of men who would turn down a chick who comes into a bar, walks up to them and says "let's have sex" Obviously, that wouldn't work for a man. And finally, not to put a damper of make you doubt your "genuine" guy friends. But I guarantee you that if they're straight and you're even somewhat attractive, they have imagined having sex with you dozens of times

[Fudgie]

Probably...who doesn't fantasise once in a while? But as long as they don't actually want to be with me, then that's what matters.

[LaKings55]

Yeah, I definitely disagree with being misleading. I've been misled by women, and seen women misled by men. If you're not interested, then don't waste someone's time.

[capuccino83]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Every pick up artist that I've ever met was so transparent that two sentences into the conversation I could tell what he was all about. You have to realize that most of these guys read a book or watch a TV show, pick some routine or story and come up to you asking for 'advice' on a situation. It's completely transparent and unoriginal. As long as you are not desperate and have a good head on your shoulders, you will be fine.

 

Most of the players that I've met have not been pick up artists. They were just natural born and trained jerks. These are the ones that you need to worry about!

[magnoliatree]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Every pick up artist that I've ever met was so transparent that two sentences into the conversation I could tell what he was all about. You have to realize that most of these guys read a book or watch a TV show, pick some routine or story and come up to you asking for 'advice' on a situation. It's completely transparent and unoriginal. As long as you are not desperate and have a good head on your shoulders, you will be fine.

 

Most of the players that I've met have not been pick up artists. They were just natural born and trained jerks. These are the ones that you need to worry about!

 

This!!!!!!