Jaydedgirl Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 So i have a bf and he seems to be worried about the fact that I have changed ever since i became more spiritual. I love to read about God, the afterlife, Prayer, near death experiences, angels,etc. I am also a very shy,reserved person and much rather be at home then go out partying. I dont have friends and i dont need one. I love being by myself and I love to blog. I dont have any need or desire for sex, I dont like the idea now more than before I became spiritual. I feel that there are more important things in life to learn and discover. My bf thinks im gone mad and that hes not liking the new changed me. I still am the same person,its just that I have different views on life and would much rather watch the moon and stars than have sex. I think if he cant accept me this way then he should leave. I do love him but I am my own person and I can handle the heartbreak. I am also a big Michael Jackson fan and he hates that...his music is the only music I feel i can connect to and that i love. So am i normal to feel this way? Link to comment
TheDoctor Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 LOL not sure how that bolded part is connected to everything else you said. You are definitely normal, in the sense you are spiritually connected with your essence, and that is a beautiful place to be in life (I'm not there at the moment due to a break up). However, your man IS A MAN and if he is used to sex and doesn't have any religious reasons to not have sex, then he is going to be tormented. It's a very difficult situation for him, if I may ask has the sex decreased or just completely stopped? Link to comment
Jaydedgirl Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 LOL not sure how that bolded part is connected to everything else you said. You are definitely normal, in the sense you are spiritually connected with your essence, and that is a beautiful place to be in life (I'm not there at the moment due to a break up). However, your man IS A MAN and if he is used to sex and doesn't have any religious reasons to not have sex, then he is going to be tormented. It's a very difficult situation for him, if I may ask has the sex decreased or just completely stopped? Its completely stopped..in fact i dont care for it anymore...i dont feel the need to be sexy or anything of that sort. Im just changed and I like being this way... Link to comment
Joshb Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Its completely stopped..in fact i dont care for it anymore...i dont feel the need to be sexy or anything of that sort. Im just changed and I like being this way... So do you not find yourself being selfish in anyway, being a relationship takes two to tango? It's not just about your needs, but his needs, and the needs of a relationship. With the MJ thing, sounds like your just making excuses. Sex is very important to men, and a lot of woman. Sex is an integral part of a relationship. It is going to be very hard on him for many reasons. You are not the person he fell in love with and you have changed a lot of your views on things and life. You say your the same but if your views change....well then you have changed. Link to comment
Jaydedgirl Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 So do you not find yourself being selfish in anyway, being a relationship takes two to tango? It's not just about your needs, but his needs, and the needs of a relationship. With the MJ thing, sounds like your just making excuses. Sex is very important to men, and a lot of woman. Sex is an integral part of a relationship. It is going to be very hard on him for many reasons. You are not the person he fell in love with and you have changed a lot of your views on things and life. You say your the same but if your views change....well then you have changed. Maybe i should just be single then,that way I will be happier..xx Link to comment
charity Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 you are right that there are more important things in life to explore and discover. but for most people intimacy and love and sex are a part of those things too. having a love relationship is a beautiful and very challenging thing to have. if you have no interest in sex or intimacy for your bf then that is a massive incompatibility and its not fair on him unless he is like that too, which it sounds like he isn't. how long have you felt this way? by the way i'm not saying theres anything wrong with how you feel, not at all. if you're single that is...... Link to comment
Joshb Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 and he will be happier because you are only thinking about yourself, doesnt sound like a relationship is for you right now. Link to comment
AquaaBubbles Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Im exactly the same as you (I don't read about God or anything but Im very mindful and spiritual). I to do not desire or have a need for sex. Obviously I'd like to at some point, but there are countless things that I prefer to sex. I also never feel the need to dress up sexually, I wear comfy clothes. Clothes that I am all warm and comfy in, not tight tops and a short skirt >: I love to watch the moon and stars as well and I also just generally love going out to lovely places with my boyfriend and just having a laugh. Luckily my boyfriend is like me... he is also very spiritual and does not desire sex. Which Im very lucky for... If your boyfriend cannot accept you for who you are, you need to talk to him and sort things out for the both of you, If a relationship in general is not what you fancy at the moment, then maybe just tell him that, and do what makes you happy until you find someone who accepts you for YOU. Link to comment
Jaydedgirl Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 Wow where did u find ur guy? lol i dont know any man that doesnt need sex. You are blessed and lucky to find someone like that. I know this is unfair to my bf but I know I am much comfortable keeping my clothes on and reading or watching a movie. I also feel cluttered in my relationship where my bf is thinking of marriage..etc and im not. He knows im not ready but still goes on and on about it. I dont want to be some house wife doing his laundry and cooking his meals. I am my own person and i am not here to make him happy...so I hope he understands this. xx Link to comment
Jaydedgirl Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 you are right that there are more important things in life to explore and discover. but for most people intimacy and love and sex are a part of those things too. having a love relationship is a beautiful and very challenging thing to have. if you have no interest in sex or intimacy for your bf then that is a massive incompatibility and its not fair on him unless he is like that too, which it sounds like he isn't. how long have you felt this way? by the way i'm not saying theres anything wrong with how you feel, not at all. if you're single that is...... Ive felt this way for six months now and I am fine this way.. Link to comment
whysoalone Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 God hasn't shown he's around to prove he exists, my mum's an alien and the 'light' people see when dying on the operating table, is the bright light above the table. All in all, I dunno. It's good that you're in touch with yourself, but you'll eventually turn on the news and watch it change. Link to comment
quirky Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 I dont want to be some house wife doing his laundry and cooking his meals. I am my own person and i am not here to make him happy...so I hope he understands this. xx This is a strange statement..it really doesn't sound like you're working as a team. When you are inlove with someone you do want to do things for them that will make them happy, albeit not all the time for sure. It sounds like you are mainly focused on your spiritual enlightment. You are not scared of breaking up it seems so why are you with him? I get the impression that your interest in transcending your mind has taken over physical needs or a desire to connect with earthly things. Link to comment
Joshb Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 God hasn't shown he's around to prove he exists, my mum's an alien and the 'light' people see when dying on the operating table, is the bright light above the table. All in all, I dunno. It's good that you're in touch with yourself, but you'll eventually turn on the news and watch it change. This is a strange statement..it really doesn't sound like you're working as a team. When you are inlove with someone you do want to do things for them that will make them happy, albeit not all the time for sure. It sounds like you are mainly focused on your spiritual enlightment. You are not scared of breaking up it seems so why are you with him? I get the impression that your interest in transcending your mind has taken over physical needs or a desire to connect with earthly things. I agree with both of these. As quirky put it "I get the impression that your interest in transcending your mind has taken over physical needs or a desire to connect with earthly things.". Are you sure this is not just a phase? Don't act quickly and do something you regret, unless you are 100% sure that this is where you are going to be for some time to come. If so I would consider being single, clearly you aren't into your partner or a relationship at present. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 There are many different paths in life, and it appears you prefer a monastic one. I would be honest with your BF and tell him that you don't want to have sex or to focus on building a relationship with him, and this is not changing. Set him free to find a woman who wants to have a normal couples relationship including sex. Link to comment
Benville Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Echoing what several have said here, I think you need to let your boyfriend go so he can be happy. "He should accept me as I am" is a double edged sword. You expect him to be understanding of your new spirituality and lack of interest in physicality, but you have no understanding of his needs too. I also don't understand how marriage automatically equates to being a housewife doing laundry. Whenever I hear that from a woman it just sounds like a cop-out because they're afraid of commitment. Link to comment
Dionsauce Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Well are you sure you are nkt just over men.. And might be into women??? Because spiritual or not.. Sex is important to the human mind and body.. Its very important.. Poor man of yours.. Let him go.. Dont keep him around.. Find yourself 1st then you can give yoh self to another human properly.. Have sex.. Then after look at the stars and the moon and feel how great life is... There are men and women out there who love god and michael jackson.. And Im sure that might be the thing to turn you on.. Makin love under the starz listening to you are not alone.. Sounds beautiful rite.?? God created us to be sexual.. I just dont think you found the rite mate.... Link to comment
Tresha Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 If you are completely neglecting your man and expect him to just "accept and love" the new, self-absorbed, superior, transcended you ... you have not gotten past the "me" phase yet. You need to be single so that you can be selfish without hurting your BF. Eventually, on your path, you may find that transcendence is not really about "you" after all. At that time, you will be able to give more and could possibly sustain a relationship. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 You just haven't met the right man yet. Once you do, you will know it and you'll want to share the moon & stars with him. Link to comment
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