Men want 3 somes

[sunnyp]

Can some one explaine to me why a lot of men want 3 somes with their wife and her friend? My husband wants this. I am discusted by it! He knew he was going to hurt me for he said it! I just dont understand this problem. I need help with this.

S

[Hero_99]

With a suggestion like that you might as well tear up your marriage license.

 

Not all guys insist that there shoud ever be more than one woman present at a time, by the way.

[Jyebo]

Being a male, I guess I can speak generally. I would love to experience a 3some with 2 other women, I'm not sure why, but its a huge turnon, and something that I've said to myself I want do before marriage LTR etc. I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. I did occasionally think about it, but I came to the realisation that it would have only hurt our relationship. For many reasons - which i'm sure you are aware of. So generally speaking I think that a lot of men would love to experience a 3some, however, there are just some things that you cannot do with a long term partner (unless however they are also into it). And you sacrifice things for people you love.

 

As for your problem, I think your husband has probably been thinking about this for a long time. I don't think he should have mentioned it. But to solve the problem, I think the best way would be for you to tell him how it makes you feel about it. I know if things were reversed with my ex, and she wanted a 3some with another guy, I would have felt pretty low and it would most likely had serious effects on our relationship.

 

Sex to men is more physical, while for women its emotional. This is where the problem lies, at the end of the day, I think your husband needs to be more sympathetic and understanding, you can't always have what you want, and more importantly he should love you enough to think about it from your perspective.

 

Don't blame him, its normal.. Try some porno movies, excite things up a little in the bedroom. Thats my advice

[mamamaria]

this might sound stupid to you, but you have to be selfish in relationships...i dont mean, i want this, i dont want this, you better do this, blablabla..i mean if its somethin you really dont feel comfortable with this and dont think youll benefit in any way then 'self sacrafice' will not only upset and hurt you but you hurtin is gonna cause problems with your marriage as well, cause you wont be happy.

i know that guys in marriage sometimes jsut get bored and want variety, so maybe this is what he wanted for variety but if your not for it, this is not the kind of self sacrafice thats good for a marriage. maybe ask about other ways of mixin it up, and really explain to him why itd hurt you to do this, especially with a friend..help him understand

[dpressedone89]

well general answer? guys want it because its like cheating with out the risk of getting caught. just an answer to ur question i wish you luck

[ComputerGuy]

well general answer? guys want it because its like cheating with out the risk of getting caught. just an answer to ur question i wish you luck

 

That sounds like about right to me. Personally I could never do something like that but that does make sense.

[Mike_Wazowski]

It's funny..A guy wants a threesome with two other women..but wait...Watch his interest in a 3P turn to disgust when his wife tells him that she wants two guys.....Wow...another penis invading His territory....and maybe a much bigger one than He's got!

 

if your Husband wants a 3P...just for the fun of it say "Sure Honey, so long as the third person is a guy with a much bigger One than you got."

[peanut15]

I am laughing at your post Mike. My husband and I were talking about desires and fantasies once and of course the 3some came up with him. It was more like a fantasy that he'd actually never ever fulfill but I told him that sure we could have a 3some just as long as its another guy His mouth dropped and he said, I don't think so.

[life_can_be_painful]

like was said, you have to realize that with guys, sex is all about being physical. not emotional. and every guy fancies a threesome (yes, every guy... including your boyfriend/husband) because it represents a few things:

 

- the very act that 2 girls would have sex with a guy at once means that the guy can be sure that the girls are interested in the same thing, on the same level of sexual desire... ie. physical

 

- it is kinky. its the pure concept of doing something naughty and special just ...maybe... once. the number doesnt actually matter. it could be 2 or 5 girls. they are just as desirable as each other. its just the fact that its more than just 1 girl.

 

- the guy doesnt have to focus too much on pleasing the other person and focus more on pleasing himself

 

- seeing your girlfriend/spouse make out with another girl? what could a guy ever desire more as mental imagery to have for the rest of his life?

 

(the reason most guys wouldn't want the thressome to be with another guy is because men distrust each other by nature... but we know that another woman is less threatening, as it is same sex)

 

- the act of over-indulgence. all humans want to over-indulge in what they find desirable... food and obesity is one example.

 

 

Maybe there are other reasons to include... Im trying to think up as many reasons as i could possibly imagine.

 

To be honest, while every guy fancies in the back of his mind about it, most do not have the guts to ask or would not want to risk upsetting the gf/wife, making a fool of himself, have it revealed it public to be ridiculed and feeling guilty for the rest of his life. And then some guys realize that theres a good chance, even if his gf/wife agrees to, only strong relationships can survive such encounters, as swinging partners can lead to relationship conflicts and distrust.

 

 

I dont think you should be too insulted him asking (unless theres more to the story that i dont know about), because it might show that atleast he is completely honest with you and feels that your relationship is strong enough to take the chance... or maybe he has complete disregard. I didnt get enough info from you to know which of the two it is.

 

but be upfront with him about it and have an open discussion, although making it clear from the beginning exactly what your final answer is, and this might let him open up and might make you realize his motives for asking...

 

 

me? i love my girlfriend and would never want to take any of the risks involved in 3somes. She is enough for me.

[bleeder]

It very much depends on how you look at it.

 

You can take it negatively by going down that 'oh can he even conjure such a thought in his head' road. Or, you might even take it positively in that he is honest about it and he voiced it out to you first, instead of sneaking round your back to have an affair with Jane Doe.

 

The choice is yours really, and it all boils down to one's attitude towards sex and fidelity in the end. We all have different boundaries.

[mb37kids]

Is this the first time your husband has ever suggested any sexual games ie. dress up, toys, videos? If it is then I can understand your shock and surprise.

As with most of the males responses to your, my husband has also voiced this fantasy on one or two occasions. It has never been taken a step further because

1. sex with strangers or friends would be too weird-we are not swingers

2. MOST inportantly, our relationship, if it needs spicing up, could be done with any of the things i mentioned above.

3. Its called a fantasy for a reason

 

If he still persists, go with Mike's idea of suggesting that you MIGHT consider it if it was two men!!

 

 

 

 

[Day_Walker]

For most guys it is a fantasy and for most it will stay that way. The idea behind it is pretty simple, 2 is better than one. As far as being disgusted by the thought of you having a 3 some with your friend, thats understandable. For your situation it doesnt seem that the relationship could handle a 3some.