Karma

[Luigi68]

I separated 3 years ago after having an affair with my wifes close friend. There were many contributing factors to why me and my wife of the time split but stripping all that away I had an affair!

Guilt has played a huge part in my life since although I moved forward with the person I had an affair with and we have had generally a good relationship for three years although guilt on both our parts (her husband subsequently committed suicide) prevented us from moving on.

Since christmas our relationship has struggled as she couldnt see a way forward and I suspected that she was being sought after by my mate, this subsequently turned out to be a correct assumption and very quickly she has moved him in. She has seperately told a female friend of mine that she felt the only way to end the two of us was to get someone else and went out and got him and moved him in to her house and day to day family life.

This has devastated me and I have posted under break-up and reconciliation forum at length on this.

I am now getting feelings of sadness as the way I am feeling at present must be the way i left my ex-wife feeling. I now understand just exactly what I put her through and these feelings keep coming back to me. She had some poor support after our seperation and I feel she has never moved on, being particularly bitter and vitriolic toward me at times although at other times around the wellbeing of our children she has been fantastic.

I suppose I wanted to post just to get my feelings out - I bitterly regret the part the affair had in our seperation and subsequent divorce and now acknowledge that had the affair not happened then we could have at least had a go at getting us back on the right track.

There is no way back now after all this time and as crazy as it sounds I still have the strongest of feelings for the woman who is putting me through this living hell at present.

So for my ex-wife - I AM SO SORRY TO PUT YOU THROUGH WHAT I DID AND HOPE THAT YOU CAN GET YOURSELF TO A STAGE WHERE YOU CAN MOVE ON HAPPILY. WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE A LINK THROUGH OUR TWO BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS AND I HOPE OUR RELATIONSHIP CAN GROW TO BE THERE FOR THE TWO OF THEM AS THEY GO THROUGH THEIR LIFE X

For the person who is putting me through the same hell - I WANT TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOU EVEN SO, I UNDERSTAND YOU MORE THAN ANYONE EVER HAS OR WILL AFTER WHAT WE BEEN THROUGH. I REGRET THE FACT THAT WE DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO JUST GO FOR IT AT ALL COSTS BECAUSE IN WAITING AROUND WE HAVE COST OURSELVES THE CHANCE TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOUR NEW RELATIONSHIP, DESPITE BEING PUT IN PLACE JUST TO FINALISE US WILL SEEM HAPPY AND PROGRESSIVE AT PRESENT AS IT IS NEW, JOBS TO BE DONE, TIME TO BE SHARED - ONLY TIME WILL TELL WHETHER THIS SEEMINGLY RANDOM REACH OUT TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO CAME ALONG WILL BEAR FRUIT IN THE LONG RUN. YOU KNOW THIS IS A TRAIT AND I HOPED WE COULD COUNSEL EACH OTHER TO GET THROUGH IT. I HOPE TO BE AROUND AS A FRIEND FOR MANY YEARS TO COME IF I CAN GET THROUGH THE INEVITABLE PAIN I AM GOING THROUGH AND I HOPE YOU CAN SEE YOUR WAY TO DOING THE SAME. X

SO TO THE TWO LADIES WHO HAVE HAD MY HEART I AM SORRY THAT I COULDNT BE THE MAN YOU BOTH WANTED ME TO BE

BE HAPPY XX

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Sounds like this woman is a real loser...why do men gravitate towards women like this! I think it is not a good idea to be this woman's friend.

[Seraphim]

She sounds psycho to be exact and I guess I wants every man in the world but the one she has at the time. Her husband killed himself and she is still out there after every man. She sounds like SCUM.