Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Really? I think I fell right off the path and hit a car.. Have you read post no. 59 (page 6)? Link to comment
fourty6and2 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Sorry...I Just read the first page since I didn't realize there are more.... Anyway... now I've read all of it and I think you could still try to kiss her...but be careful not to end up with her thinking you will do the same to her like others.Because she is there for a short while, this already started as a short term relationship. There is still hope though. I don't really know for how long this has been going on, but my opinion is that things should have been started already.If they did not yet...you have nothing to lose.She knows you like her and she likes you too but the whole thing is on hold. You have done a lot to show her that you like her. The "giving space" advice is a very good one at this time.It's kind of giving her the chance to pursue you. Give her a couple of days. When she comes close again(and I'm sure she will) you could move things forward by kissing her gently.Slow moves in going in for the kiss are always good. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Okay, it is going to prove extremely hard, but I will try and give her space by not asking her to hang out with me. I still have my doubts that she will come to me on her own though.. I mean what if all she told me the other night was just lies in order to avoid hurting me? What if this girl actually only wants casual flings.. Link to comment
NightLily Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 To me it sounds like she was horny earlier and was hoping you would make a move. You didn't so she went away and then hooked up with some other guy. Now she is seeing you want a relationship but since you are sensitive she doesn't want to lead you on. It is possible she became frustrated that you weren't doing anything about it. At this point I would agree to let her comes to you and then be romantic. Sounds like she was nearly throwing herself at you.. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Well I saw her the first time today at dinner.. She was sitting beside me but we hardly said a word to each other. Anything that was said was from me, to which she would respond.. All of my family are now watching a movie (along with the other two students), but 'my girl' is up in her room doing some work apparently.. (just as she was doing last night) So I'm just sitting here down in the other living room, hoping by some miracle she will come down and join me.. like she used to.. Guys I am finding it so hard to resist going up to her room, knocking on her door and having a talk with her.. Is this definitely not wise?? By the way my mom was trying to urge me to ask her to come for a walk with me tonight.. but I resisted that temptation as I remembered what you guys said about giving her space.. Anyway what shall I do guys??????? I am in agony here. I just have this desperate need to know where I stand TONIGHT. I can't take it anymore. Link to comment
dali Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Hang on... This girl actually lives with you? Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Hang on... This girl actually lives with you? Yes! Since near the beginning of this month. Link to comment
iBroken Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I hate to say it but I think you missed out on your chance. She was making herself available but you didnt react. I suspect she felt a bit slighted about it and has distanced herself Nonetheless, do not go and knock on her door. Just give her some space and let her come around. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 I hate to say it but I think you missed out on your chance. She was making herself available but you didnt react. I suspect she felt a bit slighted about it and has distanced herself Nonetheless, do not go and knock on her door. Just give her some space and let her come around. But I confirmed my desire to be in a relationship with her last thursday night (as described in post no. 59 - page 6).. She knows I want her... Link to comment
hanalei Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Go get her. No scared em go get em. Never know unless you try. What you more afraid of rejection or regret..hmm. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Go get her. No scared em go get em. Never know unless you try. What you more afraid of rejection or regret..hmm. You mean for me to confront her in her room? Link to comment
dali Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I'm not sure about barging into her room at this point will be a good move.... Btw it sounds like your courting someone from 1800's. confirmed your desire for a relationship? Asking permission to kiss? Very sweet but are you re-enacting a Victorian play for theater class? Sometimes you don't get second chances, that's why you have to live in the moment. Sounds like you had a few presented to you by this girl previously. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 I'm not sure about barging into her room at this point will be a good move.... Btw it sounds like your courting someone from 1800's. confirmed your desire for a relationship? Asking permission to kiss? Very sweet but are you re-enacting a Victorian play for theater class? Well actually I never went out and said 'I'd like to be in a relationship with you'. It was she who kind of turned it into that.. saying she can't do another LDR, and she doesn't want hurt me ect.. I did however tell her a number of times that I really liked her, thought we have a connection, and that I wanted her to feel the same way I do before I'd kiss her.. Link to comment
dali Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Well.... can't you tell if she wants to kiss you or???? Link to comment
NightLily Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 From what I saw, she doesn't want a relationship with you. She may have just wanted to hook up. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Well.... can't you tell if she wants to kiss you or???? Well no man I actually could not tell for certain. You have to remember that I've had zero experience with girls before this.. I've been dropped in the deep end. I had noticed her looking at my lips a lot during times we were talking, but that's about it. I wasn't sure if that meant anything. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 From what I saw, she doesn't want a relationship with you. She may have just wanted to hook up. And now I am okay with that too......... I realized that a relationship was out of the question when we had the deep conversation last week.. That's what I have been trying to tell her this week (that I am okay without something casual and short term).. She just obviously won't give me any of her time so that I can tell her this.... Link to comment
NightLily Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 She was hanging out with you for a long time at night on the couch alone and letting you play with her hair AND CUDDLE HER. Short of initiating herself that is about the best you could get. Link to comment
NightLily Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 The problem you may run into here is that she might have been flirty with you and interested in hooking up while she was in the mood but now the excitement is gone and she feels put off. I'm a little concerned that you may have too much invested in this right now but either way, I would consider this a step in the right direction and a victory. Link to comment
Shudder Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I noticed that you kind of set yourself up for fail. you overanalyze everything to its little detail and you also try to plan things. I used to be like you but not to such an extremity. The only way that corrected was to not put all your eggs in one basket. theres other girls out there. this girl is only living at your place temporarily. I didn't want to say it, but the other posters are correct in saying that all the signs were there, you just didnt act on it. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 I want her more than ever now though.. I don't even have time to think about how this was an experience for me because I am so emotionally and sexually frustrated right now it's hard to even explain.. Link to comment
dali Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 yer didn't know you had 0 experience... explains your situation somewhat. but Nightlily is right that time on the couch was the right time. If you blew it well, you blew it though now you have some experience to learn from. sounds like you need to lighten up a bit, i wouldnt want to be freaking out now. Link to comment
Bluesman89 Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 I don't see why she won't give me another chance though if all she was after in the first place was a hook up... That's why I'm thinking if I tell her I am okay with that, I might get something out of this... Link to comment
fourty6and2 Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 No offence but you sound desperate about her.Girls don't approach guys in this situation, unless they feel the same.I would say to be cool about everything....I can understand your frustration, I've been there too...it is hard...but try to focus on other things. Try to appear as confident as you can while not giving her that much attention. It sounds tough, but if in a month nothing much happened, I don't know how much will happen from now on....Like I said before: you have nothing to lose, (only to win) either if you go for it either if you ignore her at this point. She doesn't seem that serious like you. Did you wait too long to make bolder moves? Yes. Is that wrong? No. If she would have wanted it as bad as you, things would have moved on quicker. Specially with american girls...believe me, I know... So, whenever you guys get to be by yourselves again you could try to kiss her and see where things lead from there.At least you will have an answer and not be so uncertain about where you stand. Or not do anything, but I doubt you'll back out now. She likes your attention, because it makes anyone feel good if someone is crazy about them, but not reciprocating or at least giving a straight answer about how she feels is not such a good sign. She said she is "messed up" that sounds like me when I don't really want a relationship but I don't want to lose the frienship either. Thank got I've matured enough to be able to put my feeeling straight out specially when it's a no. I hope this helps you! Link to comment
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