ferna3069 Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 first of i wanted to thank every one here on ena for any advice i was ever given. at this point im done . im done feeling bad for everything. im done feeling guilty that i posted here. at this point my ex can get mad all she wants but this is my way to let go of all the anger.she thinks i havent been moving on but thats all i been doing.she says she never bad mouthed me yet her mom tells me off on only the things my ex and i knew. i honestly thought she cared for me as a person but i see that wasnt true.she told me that yeah she told her mom and her friend but i told the whole online community. well you know what i say to that? shame on me.shame on me for not telling my family. all this time all i been trying to do is protect her feelings. my family my friends dont even know. only one who has been helping me cope with things.she can say every one online knows but i have it in my concios that not one single soul even has a clue to who my ex is even is. this is my way to vent and get support and this is the way im going to keep it. im not going to be bitter about anything. im going to let go of everything that ever botherd me on here and be a better me. my ex got mad that i said something about her mom yet never manages to see my side. if my mom would call her four times in a row. then two more times later on when my brothers working and after that answer one of my questions on yahoo. who wouldnt get mad about it?its wrong that she put my name out in public like that.so yeah of course i would get mad and sound bitter and say things i dont mean.she only manages to think of her feelings. at this point im done with trying to protect her feelings. im done with trying to please her. i whent out of the way to make a account for yahoo with a fake name and get an account on here just so my family would not know about the situation. her mom calls me to tell me off. they call my mom and my mom doesnt even know who it was so she hangs up on them. later on i tell them and she feels bad about hanging up on them.all i ever wanted was to keep the drama out. honestly if it botherd her that much i dont know why she had to go tell her mom about it instead of comfroting me. her mom said that i was mean and controlling towards my ex. she said that i wanted to sleep in my ex gfs bed every night and actualy got mad when her and her husband said i couldnt sleep with her. well first off it never happened that way.my ex would follow me to bed ever day or we would be cuddling in her bed and then she would tell me to cuddle with her till we fall asleep or she would just tell me to sleep with her. in the beggining i told her no because i respect her moms house. later on we fell asleep together. her step dad said that he did not like it to my ex gfs mom. and her mom told her it was ok because she trusted us. all i tell my ex is i told u we would get intruble. she gets mad and said we wernt even doing anything hes doing to much.then her mom tells me i called her all kinds of names. the only name i ever called her in two years was pathetic and thats because i was so stressed out. every one that ever told me i did not do that bad was right.when i first came onto this forum i felt like i was a monster i felt like i was the worst person in the world. but thanks to every one on here i realise the truth, her mom or my ex can say anything about me but at the end of the day i did more good in her life then bad.when every one tured there back on her i was there. when her mom made her feel bad about herself and talk to other people about it i was there. when her brother made fun of her i was there. when her step dad and her would argue i was there. when she felt like she was ugly i was there. she went from telling me she did not like herself to one day telling me i made her feel beutiful and made her feel like she can do anything she wants even be a model.when her step dad would argue with he because she did not have a job. i opened a ebay store just so she could make money and they wouldnt argue. at the end the idea didnt work out but i tried. when she wanted to be close to her mom i would encourage her. i got a cable for the computer later got netflicks just so they can spend time together. when she needed undies i got her undies. when she told me she was bored at home the whole day bought her tools and clay just like she wanted just so she has something to do. when she was living in that toxic house i gave her the courage to move out.when she told me she wanted to e a photographer i supported her traveled 3000 miles so we can go to school together and support her to be what she wanted to be in life. there is way more to add to the list. all i know is that when most people would of left becaus eof the drama i was there. you know every one that said i wanted her to find this forum. in a way i kind of did. never really thought she would look for it but she did. all of you are right all i wanted to do is tell my side of the story. i made a mistake lesson learned. at the end im not going to let this break me like it did some of my friends im going to let it make me stronger.her mom can say i wasnt a man because i dont have a license but at the end of the day im happy. because when my family needed me the most i had three jobs to help out.when my gf needed me the most i was there for her to. so in my conscious yeah i made some mistakes but did more positive then bad. 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Bcom Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Dude everyone makes mistakes! Those who say they never did are either liars or sideliners! I am glad you are getting over it! I woulda had a tough time ig I were in your shoes! Hope it all works out! Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Hey Ferna, I hope things get better for you soon. I wish you all the best with everything. If you ever want to IM me, please feel free. Hugs. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 thank you silver birch you been alot of help. and bcom thank you your right . im gratefull that i admited my mistakes. if she cant see that this is a way to heal and cant admit her mistakes thats all on her. this is my way to take all the bitterness away.i guess at the end it hurt her to see the truth. but hey this is about my healing not hers Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 this is about my healing i edited your post for you. it's just you now. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 i edited your post for you. it's just you now. true. the situation was like no other i been in. and im sure if alot of people where in my shoes they would of done the same. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 true. the situation was like no other i been in. and im sure if alot of people where in my shoes they would of done the same. of that...there is no doubt. Link to comment
staying strong Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Ferna...i'm pretty sure this experience will make you a stronger man for your next relationship. Just learn from this and move on and one day you will look back and thing, ' * * * was i thinking with this chick?' Keep your head high and move forward. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 Ferna...i'm pretty sure this experience will make you a stronger man for your next relationship. Just learn from this and move on and one day you will look back and thing, ' * * * was i thinking with this chick?' Keep your head high and move forward. thank you staying strong. i cant believe i felt bad for posting on here. if it wasnt for here i would of still been depressed. every one on this site is great. Link to comment
staying strong Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 thank you staying strong. i cant believe i felt bad for posting on here. if it wasnt for here i would of still been depressed. every one on this site is great. honestly i thought she was different . she pressured me into things. told me that she didnt feel beutiful if i didnt do anytthing or that she didnt feel like i love her. all she did last time she read that was laugh at me. acted like it never happened. we argued about it for so long. People on this site are supportive bro. Set boundaries for yourself and know what you will put up with and won't put up with and stick with them. Don't let this girl ruin it for your future relationships. Move forward and don't look back. You will feel a lot better about things. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 People on this site are supportive bro. Set boundaries for yourself and know what you will put up with and won't put up with and stick with them. Don't let this girl ruin it for your future relationships. Move forward and don't look back. You will feel a lot better about things. im not going to let it ruin me. im going to let me get stronger. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 has any one ever have one of there ex's parent tell u off? Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 ferna, I wish you luck with moving on. Remember, people can only play with you if you choose to stay in the game. Do not engage or respond in any way and it will soon die down. Also, make an effort to stop yourself from obsessing over various dramas of the past involving you, your girlfriend and her mother. It doesn't help. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 ferna, I wish you luck with moving on. Remember, people can only play with you if you choose to stay in the game. Do not engage or respond in any way and it will soon die down. Also, make an effort to stop yourself from obsessing over various dramas of the past involving you, your girlfriend and her mother. It doesn't help. thank you drama llama.and your right.i just never seen this situation happen before.if i never went threw that. and some one told me that this happened to them i would think its the wierdest situation Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 It is weird. But you have to admit that you did keep on feeding them when they were looking for a reaction. I don't know the specifics of what happened, but generally speaking, know that her mum sounds strange and immature, so it's best for you to move on now. Stop focusing on it. We've all given you validation that it is them that are immature, but you musn't give them any response if you want to move on. Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 yeah your right. on the other hand im happy that i wasnt bad. i no longer blame myself. i admited my mistakes. i hit rock bottom at one point all i been doing is getting myself to live a better life. im going to be the doctor i always wanted to be and be there for my friends and family. her mom can say that im not a man because i dont have a license. but a man is some one who is there for the people who care. im not bad im good. Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 Don't listen or even think about what her mum thinks. She sounds kind of crazy to be honest. Who is she to judge other people anyway? Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted June 1, 2011 Author Share Posted June 1, 2011 thats what i realised today. i took a step back. looked at the whole picture. because of everything that was said after the break up i blamed myself for so much. but after this event after her posting my name in public like that and saying what she said. i looked at it for one sec . said to myself. omg this is all a lie. honestly from that event i cant help but not blame myself any more.its like getting set free by seen the lies. it botherd me for so long . yet seen what she said made me realise the truth. it wasnt me who did anything.and like i said erlier my ex can get mad all she wants because i said it was dumb that she did that. but not many people would sit there and be ok with that Link to comment
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