What do you think happened??

[butterfly6585]

Hi everyone!

 

After almost a year of being broken up with my exbf (after a 3 year relationship), a few weeks ago I finally decided to put myself out there & start dating again. So, far, I've gone out on dates with two different guys. In this post, I'll talk about just the first guy that I went out with.

 

For my first date with him, we met up for coffee & it seemed like we both really hit it off. He texted me within a few hours of our date telling me he thought I was a really cute girl & that if I was interested, he'd really love to see me again. Within the next few days after that, he texted me & asked me out on date #2 which was going out to lunch & to see a movie last Sunday afternoon (his idea). So far, so good, right?

 

Saturday night, I decided to go to a local bar to check out a live band that I'd heard good things about that was going to be playing there. None of my friends were available that night & I didnt' have a date set up for that night, so I just went alone figuring I'd stay there for just a little bit to enjoy the live band & then head home. However, I ended up sending him a text while at the bar & asking what he was up to. Turns out, he wasn't really doing much either & so I texted him back and told him "your welcome to join me if you want". He asked where I was & said okay, I'll be there in 45 minutes (how long it takes him to get from his city to mine). So, I figured that was a good sign. Seems like he was obviously interested in me if he headed down to see me immediately as soon as I made that offer to hang out. lol So, we ended up having a few drinks together at a few different bars & when he kisses me goodnight (our first kiss), it was a pretty amazing, steamy kiss. lol (The drinks probably didn't hurt with that). lol I then told him that even though I had a great time with him, that if he didn't feel like driving all the way down to my city the next day, I would totally understand. He was like no, no problem at all. Looking forward to it.

 

So, date #2 the next day also seemed to go really well although there was kind of an akward moment when it came time to pay for lunch. He insisted on paying (which I thought was really sweet of him) & when I asked if I could get the tip he looked a little annoyed for a second & was basically like "Sure, if you really feel the need to". I wasn't sure what to do at that point, so I just went ahead and put money down on the table for the tip. Other then that particular akward moment, the whole rest of the date seemed to go really, really well. We had a bit of time to kill between lunch & the movie starting so he suggested going for a scenic drive which was really nice & gave us a good opportunity to talk & get to know each other better.

 

Last week I barely heard from him at all. We talked a few times (via text) but I think maybe only once of those times was him initiating the conversation. I ended up texting him a few days ago asking if I had by any chance done or said something to upet him. (I know, I know. Lame. SO wish now that I hadn't done that but was just kinda bewildered cuz it seemed like we'd had a great time & like he had been SO interested in me & then suddenly it's like he more or less just "disappeared" & was kinda surprised he hadn't asked me out on another date again. He texted me back almost right away & was like no, you definitely haven't done anything wrong. Just had a really busy week. He also mentioned that he had family from out of state visiting this weekend & felt like he should probably visit with them while they were here. I was like oh, of course you should spend time with them while they're here & I hope you have a wonderful time with them, etc.

 

However, it just seems like if he was really that interested in me, he probably would have managed to find the time to at least send a few quick texts to me this week, right? Any advice on how to handle this would be great. Should I just stop contacting him completely & only talk to him if HE initiates contact with me first? I'd really like to see him again but I'm just kinda getting the feeling that maybe he's lost interest for some reason...Also, what if he does contact me again, but let's say it's not until like a couple of weeks from now? Should I just act really friendly & not mention a word (even jokingly) about how long it took for him to contact me after our last date? Just give the impression that I've been so busy with my own life that I really didn't even notice that I hadn't hear from him lately? It just seems kinda weird cuz it seemed like he was SO into me & then all of a sudden...nothing.

[onemoretime]

Play it cool. If i was the guy and I liked dating you, I wouldn't flood you with attention either because I wouldn't want to ruin it.

[butterfly6585]

Thanks for your input onemoretime. I'll try my best to play it cool then. Doesn't it seem though that if he was really still interested in me that he would be at least sending me an occasional text or something? I'm also kinda surprised that he hasn't suggested a time that we get together again for another date. But...seeing as he's not even texting me, I'm thinking that even though our last date seemed to go really well, maybe he's just suddenly lost interest in me all of a sudden. He could very well be playing it cool although it seems like even if that was the case that he would at least be shooting me a text once in awhile.

[rosephase]

Relax and don't play games. Give him space until he has more time and then hang out with him again when you both have time. He s being very clear that he is into you don't panic about it.

[Ariel85]

I don't think you'll hear from him again. I don't think he's playing it cool, I think he's lost interest. That's pretty clear.

 

Whatever you do - do NOT contact him and in the future, never EVER ask a guy why he took so long to contact you. Ugh.