Am i suffering from depression??

[Jaydedgirl]

Im 24 Ill be 25 in August. The year 2010 and this year hasnt been looking too good for me. I still live with my parents and i dont have a great job but its better than nothing, I work as a receptionist. However I tend to buy things that I think will make me feel happy but in the end it doesnt. I even eat eat chocolate for comfort. I had a brain injury 8 years ago and ever since then my life has changed.

 

My family are disappointed in me coz i had an ex bf that they hated and when i used to date him I never used to listen to my parents. Right now I am so over that guy and im happy hes not in my life. We dated for 4 years then i ended it coz of his lying,cheating ways..its been 4 years now that we are broken up but I do regret going out with him. But i feel like I wasted my life being with him.

 

I dont have my own car so if I need to go somewhere Ill ask my mum or my brother for help. My father never speaks to me or my brother and sister. Ever since he became a lawyer ,he has this ego about himself like hes better than us. Today he yelled at me really loud and with so much of anger only because I opened the car door and it mistakenly touched the gate but there where no scratches on the door although my dad was looking for one. He always speaks in such anger as if we are the cause for his life problems. I think everybody would be better off without me, they would be so much happier.

 

At night I wish I would sleep and not wake up. Throughout the day I feel as if im just existing...I feel dead inside and nothings makes me happy. I have no real good friends who are there for me, nobody to cry to or tell my problems..so here i am. I am thinking of visiting a medium ,im really serious about doing this and i just want some answers to my life. I feel really old when Im only 24, I should be out there enjoying my life,making new memories and just being in the moment. But I feel so sad,alone and empty to even live. Nothing makes me happy anymore..the only time i was ever happy was when i was a child.

 

Maybe Im overreacting but its the truth. I had 2 dreams that puzzled me but now im losing faith........I am of hindu religion but these dreams i had 2 months ago still has me thinking. The first one I saw white bright light but it wasnt hurting my eyes and in the light stood Jesus Christ in a white long robe. He held a book in his hand and on the book stood a white dove. I remember feeling this calmness, peaceful, love engulfing me. Jesus never said anything.he just looked at me and me at him. It lasted for 7 seconds and i woke up to darkness. Then 2 weeks after that dream i had a dream where i was standing outside in my yard looking up at the sky because i could hear voices singing..it was a beautiful sunny day and the voices got louder...bubbles started floating down from the clouds and then 3 angels appeared singing gloriously. I was happy ( actually very happy) to see them, they sang so beautifully and pure with such clarity. The 3 angels flew down to me and sang around me while bubbles still floating with them.. and then i started singing with them. It was a great dream but why do i feel so empty , sad ,alone, worried? Why did i have those dreams when im not a Christian? what does it mean according to my life now?

 

I just dont know if ill ever be happy again....am i depressed? I took some anti-depressants the other day but it made me feel even more sad...

[dramallama]

I think that everyone would be better off without your dad.

 

Have you looked into getting some hobbies of your own? You could catch public transport to them. It will give you a sense of purpose and socialising.

 

Get a doctor to check your vitamin d levels as that has been linked to depression. Try to eat well. Excercise every day. Meet new people.

[allsunny]

Try to save up and take a few classes at a community college. The more education you have under your belt, the better you'll get paid. Try to force yourself to go for a walk. Read positive books. Tony Robbins has great books. I turned to them every so often. Pick a goal, any goal and make a plan to reach it. Think of one thing you can appreciate in your life, and focus on just that. Focus on the positives in your life. Think of something that is making you sad, and think of things you can do to make it better. Don't count on other people to change, because you can't control them. But, you can control your actions and your thoughts. Take baby steps, and start changing one thing at a time.

[Miss Firecracker]

How did you get the injury? That could very well be the problem.

[Jaydedgirl]

I think that everyone would be better off without your dad.

 

Have you looked into getting some hobbies of your own? You could catch public transport to them. It will give you a sense of purpose and socialising.

 

Get a doctor to check your vitamin d levels as that has been linked to depression. Try to eat well. Excercise every day. Meet new people.

 

Yes i do have hobbies..I read,I go to gym, I draw. But after im done with the hobby I feel sad. I even go to the beach for long walks,thats they only calming, soothing thing ever.

[Jaydedgirl]

How did you get the injury? That could very well be the problem.

 

A tv mistakenly fell onto the side of my head when I was cleaning the tv unit. It didnt hurt but now I just look at everything differently,most of the time my feelings are numb unless I get hurt by someone.

[Jaydedgirl]

Try to save up and take a few classes at a community college. The more education you have under your belt, the better you'll get paid. Try to force yourself to go for a walk. Read positive books. Tony Robbins has great books. I turned to them every so often. Pick a goal, any goal and make a plan to reach it. Think of one thing you can appreciate in your life, and focus on just that. Focus on the positives in your life. Think of something that is making you sad, and think of things you can do to make it better. Don't count on other people to change, because you can't control them. But, you can control your actions and your thoughts. Take baby steps, and start changing one thing at a time.

 

Thanks i will look into those books. Theres no community college here where i live.

[allsunny]

Thanks i will look into those books. Theres no community college here where i live.

 

maybe try a credited online course? or ask around your job to see how you can advance, and where to go to get more training

[SkyGazer]

Do you know when and why you began feeling unhappy and empty inside? If it is indeed depression there should be a cause. You can't get rid of depression unless you solve the underlying cause.