SapphireNoir10 Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Day three of no contact, spent today just relaxing, Spent an hour on the phone with my best friend who made me feel so much better It just wasnt the right person and it wasnt the right relationship. He wasnt that into it, and I wasnt happy or acting like a healthy person in the relationship. I gave far too much. How are the rest of you doing? Also no contact is amazing, deleting and blocking on facebook and not being able to see anything is also very good Link to comment
Goncas Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Its a process, it isnt easy though. I must clear my head of the idea of she missing me and stop thinking about the good times we spent in the last 4 years. And yeah i dont even step into the fb scene. Love is such a weird emotion. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 It so is I just keep telling myself if somebody doesnt want to be with me. Thats there choice and I cant change there mind, and why would I want too really? I dont want to convince someone to be with me I broke up with him. BUT only cos he was doing the whole 'i wanna be with you...i dunno if i wanna be with you' i cant live in that limbo. Link to comment
Goncas Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Yeah, for sure doubt can consume you... Regarding to the Topic...Time will do its work Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 It will. It gets easier as time goes on. I know this Whats your story? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 No contact all the way. It really does help. It allows you to process and move on without any setbacks. Link to comment
Goncas Posted May 25, 2011 Share Posted May 25, 2011 Yep, for about 4 months she was leading me on but enough...she decided to change her life completely and i am not part of her future! Never was the type of posting my issues on forum but i must say that ENA is a great help, i can share my problems, "listen", try to help aswell and the amount of life experience that's in here alone is most definitly an enormous support for me. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 It helps me a lot Theres a lot of healthy perspectives here, and things that make me realise theres no use hating my ex and blaming him completely Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 25, 2011 Author Share Posted May 25, 2011 ITs times like these I remember there are people dying, starving...and so much worse off than me. That I have SO much to be grateful for and so many opportunities etc. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Yes, whatever gives you a more balanced perspective is helpful and also understand that sometimes there's a step back after a step forward where the "other people are sick and I'm healthy" might not cut it. And that's ok and normal. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 Oh yeah there are definatley the moment where i just burst out crying and it seems like the end of the world. But most of the time I can rationalise and just put it down as a relationship that didnt work. Im feeling a lot more positive and 'free' I guess. I dont have to hear from or about him. Best of all im not scared to be alone. I have a lot of great friends and a wonderful family. I'm starting my degree and hopefully in a few years time I'll be what I want to be...a qualified teacher. I was going to do nursing but realised I could study from home to get a degree in english and do teaching. Im really excited for that. Theres a lot to look forward too. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 I guess I dont want to become selfish and all consumed in the break up. There are people worse off... lot worse off. I feel bad that on my grandads funeral half my mind was on him and half was on my ex...I think it was mighty unkind of him to pick such a fight the day of his funeral. Link to comment
SmileNProgress Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Congrats on Day 3. I know you still feel the urge to call or text. It will be week 4 for me and this breakup. Together 3 years. We have a little daughter. I don't call him unless it is for baby. He still calls and tries for a reconcilliation. I just don't see it happening. I am too strong to fall for his "wonderful ways". He cried in front of me last night. For the first time i seen how much it hurts him not to have us at his side all the time. It was a bit exciting. I am usually the crier. We have agreed that there is still and will always be love here but nowdays, it takes more than that. I believe this is an addiction. How can love without trust truly be love. You get stronger by the minute.Then it gets easier. Watch for curve balls. Don't let them derail your healing. I had some doozies. God knows I still love this man, but I am a much better person without him. You will be too. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 Yeah like my friend said. Sometimes you have to be selfish when it comes to letting go. I didnt WANT to break up with him, bu I had to do it, otherwise he would have dragged on the 'do i want to be with you/dont i want to be with you' Mines only four months, but it sucks cos its the first guy since the guy i was engaged too...and thinks WERE Good for the first little while...they really were. Im just proud I managed to walk away. Being alone isnt so scary. You sound like your being amazingly strong, and Im proud of you for sticking to your guns. And love without trust isnt the kind of love I want, and I didnt trust him to be fully in the relationship Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 Not in a bigheaded way but I've got a few guys already saying how awesome I am and trying to get dates But im not interestd. Not this time. Im gonna be single Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Not in a bigheaded way but I've got a few guys already saying how awesome I am and trying to get dates But im not interestd. Not this time. Im gonna be single Obviously you do what's best for you but if any of these men interest you there's no harm in going on a date and it might be a very fun and pleasant distraction. Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Day three of no contact, spent today just relaxing, Spent an hour on the phone with my best friend who made me feel so much better It just wasnt the right person and it wasnt the right relationship. He wasnt that into it, and I wasnt happy or acting like a healthy person in the relationship. I gave far too much. How are the rest of you doing? Also no contact is amazing, deleting and blocking on facebook and not being able to see anything is also very good Good for you!! Each day becomes a little easier after you come to the realization they just weren't right for you. Go out and have fun when you are ready to and keep busy! Enjoy being single, you can really learn alot yourself when you are alone. You deserve only the best! Link to comment
Confused28645 Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 I think the black cloud is starting to lift off of me. I feel totally free of him, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was still in love with the person he used to be, the person he was at the beginning, and that was a long time ago now. He is never going to change, he is too intrinsically selfish and I take comfort from the fact that it isn't me, i'm not to blame, there is nothing wrong with me, he will be like that with anyone he is in a relationship with. NC has been brilliant. It has allowed me to think more rationally about things, and although I still have some pangs of regret and what if, ultimately I know that he just wasnt right for me. My main problem is I hate being single. So, thinking about it, I don't know if i'm just more upset about the fact I am single. I find it hard to meet people, I don't go out a lot as the few friends I have are all settled. I did get asked out on a date but I just don't have the stomach for it. And its strange because normally I jump straight from one relationship to another and normally I would have gone if only because I had nothing better to do. But I didn't want to go, and this time I actually feel a bit sort of contented having my own space. Im studying for a history degree, and right now im quite content sitting in my house with a cup of tea and a good history book. This is so not like me lol Link to comment
kuteknish Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 How am I doing.. I'm glad you asked! I still feel pain. 8 months after BU. Not immense, not chronic, not anything like the first few months by any means, but still the pain of rejection, loss, grief.. I've been 2 months FULL NC, and the contact was never initiated by him before it. We live 2 blocks from each other and would always run into each other and chitchat and he was very friendly and flirty but I would leave the conversations hurt and empty. I made a decision to delete him from FB 2 months ago. We're not "friends" and now if I run into him, its a "hey" and walk by like any other stranger. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.