Im going to end things

[stevef20]

Im alone, and starting to feel very very ill, im just starting to sob again, please make this go away

[penelope13]

No, it's not your time.

 

But your body feels like shutting down, if you don't give it enough food, drink, and sleep.

 

Try to take long, slow breaths.

 

Then try to take a small sip of water.

 

Maybe you could eat a bit of soup, or broth.

 

You need to look after your body! Please

[waterlilly]

You said you have kids....When things got really bad for me over the last year and a half I would repeat their names over and over in my head till the worst of the panic would pass. Sometimes I would count.....1,2, 3, 1, 2, 3(I have 3 kids). Other times I would just count odd numbers, or prime numbers. The point is to get your mind away from thoughts of destruction and pain.

I wanted to die a few times, but would never attempt it...I have 3 children I would never do that to. My boyfriend(now ex) did take too many pills(not ones known to kill anyone though). When he got home and told me I was devastated. I had been preparing myself for the fact that he might do it. I can't even tell you how much that damaged me.....How mad I was that he could do that to me, how sad that I couldn't make it better and was actually making it worse. Your pain right now is more than you feel like you can cope with. Do you really want to put someone else, your parents and kids, in that same place.

 

Get some juice, get out of your house. Take care Steve. Look at how many people are here for you right now, praying for you.

[lozzy1980]

hey steve...im hoping you have had some sleep now... but dont freak out if you havent yet... do the protein shake thing or toast, something to fill you up then that should induce some sleep ... you will sleep eventually. then after that you will slowly start to heal again...

 

it is frightening and please believe me when i say i have been there, sure many of us here have... i didnt sleep for 4 days that long bank hol weekend and i wanted to chop my head off i was that tired, stressed n exhausted. but eventually sleep will catch u promise. be positive with yourself tell yourself you will get through this and heal and you will heal, only you can make it happen x x x

[chitown9]

Steve, you need to let someone know that you are in this condition . Can you think of anyone you can contact who can come to you and physically be with you? Honey, you need someone to be with you now to help you. We are so frustrated, those of us who are communicating with you on the internet, because we cannot be there right with you right now. Please call someone now! And let us know how that goes---We love you.

[LCA1986]

Steve,

 

Hang in there, buddy. Do try to call some of your close friends or family to talk to and keep you company. We are here, as well, to listen and support you. Keep posting.

[going2crazy]

Hey Steve. I am not eating or sleeping either. The pain is raw and consuming my life right now. But I remember days that I didn't feel like this. And that's what I am holding on to. I also remember feeling ripping pain in my past and since I am here today it obviously gets better. It seems overwhelming right now but one day it will all be a memory, don't let today get the best of you. Just hold on tight and ride it out because there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it right now.

We wouldn't be able to recognize happiness in our lives without the presence of pain.

[Tanzi]

Hey steve. How ya doing? I hope you have eaten something now. There must be something you can nibble on in the house. I remember that feeling of wanting to eat but just not physically being able to swallow the food. I coped by eating little but often and taking as long as it took. Please have some water too. When are your parent's back?

[Live-N-Learn]

Hang in there Steve. Please drink a protein shake or eat something. Thinking of you buddy

[twitchyfingers]

I'm glad you're still here, steve. Please try to hang on, even if it is by your fingernails for now.

 

Your ex's behavior is appalling. I know you loved her deeply, but it sounds like she has morphed into someone utterly undeserving of your love. It happens...people change for the worse sometimes.

 

Her crap attitude is no reflection on you, or your worthiness or lovableness. It's hard to understand this when you are reeling from the blow, and still feel emotionally connected, but truly, her choices show her own character, not yours.

 

I've spoken with you before of being suicidal over someone who dumped me. I can relate. But my circumstances weren't 1/10th as tough or complex as yours, so I imagine your hell is even darker right now.

 

Please keep talking to us. If you need help getting additional assistance, take any one of us up on the offer to help you help yourself. It can be too hard to do alone when you are really depressed...

 

You will feel whole, loved, and happy again someday, steve. Not today, or tomorrow, but each day you stay on this green earth will put you one day closer to the life you deserve.

 

xo

[stevef20]

I feel ready to sleep, my eyes are now sooo very heavy, they are so sore though and it hurts to close them.

 

Thank you, each and everyone of you have shown a kindness i would not expect, you truly are remarkable loving people, i feel very blessed to have you pulling for me.

 

I am going to try and sleep now, in a way i hope i never wake.

 

Goodnight everyone x

[penelope13]

Sleep well Steve!

 

If you never wake up, you will never see the smile on your kids faces again. Look at a picture of them before you go to sleep to remind yourself why you are still needed, wanted, and loved

[lozzy1980]

night hun get lots of rest now , so glad you still with us x x x

[alexandriax]

Steve..

 

I just read through your posts here and my heart goes out to you on the deepest level.

 

Yes, please get some rest. I know you don't really care about your well-being at the moment but you must try. Please find a way to get some sort of nutrition in your system. Like others have said, drink a protein shake or fruit smoothie, sip some soup, maybe take a hot shower when you wake up.

 

You're going through lots of trauma right now, that is why you feel like you're physically dying. I said those same words during a breakup one time and my mother told me "you're not dying, your body is responding to the trauma."

 

I tried to pm you to tell you a little more about my story but for some reason I don't have the option to send private messages at the moment. I'd love to chat with you about some things.

 

Don't give up.. there are still good girls out there who wouldn't cheat and be so cruel, and they need someone kind like you. I'm one of them. Don't waste your precious health and life on someone who has no soul.

[chitown9]

Steve, thank you for letting us know that you are finally going to sleep. It is reassuring when you come back and post to us. At least we know that you are still with us. When you do wake up, please try to consume something to go in your stomach as the others suggested. And please get in touch with someone you can talk to and be with you. We will keep on checking in with you...

[WildChild]

Glad to see you're getting some sleep. Thinking about you, and are in my prayers!

 

XXX

[dramallama]

Keep us updated Steve. I wish you the best.

[RecentlyAlone]

Sleep should be good. Hope you wake up in better spirits. Please keep posting, we are all here for you!

[zakky]

Steve - watch this clip.

 

link removed

[Live-N-Learn]

You still out there Steve? check in with us and let us know how your doing.

[stevef20]

Hi guys,

 

I'm just checking in to let you know I'm still here.

 

I'm a broken man right now, empty, lost, almost zombie like but I'm here.

 

I'm not sure how I begin to recover or get past this and move on, I'm just taking it a day at a time.

[ferna3069]

hope you have good dream man and trust me everything will get better.

[twitchyfingers]

Hi steve,

 

Seems like a bunch of us are having a sucktacular day of moving on today/tonight. I'm glad you are checking in and keeping us updated.

 

It's hard when you simply don't know what to do, or what is required, to feel better. Feeling at a complete loss...that is so hard. Some days we just gotta go with blind faith that we'll feel better, I guess.

 

Hugs from afar xo

[chitown9]

Thanks for coming back to us Steve. I bet you slept for a long time. Did you manage to consume anyting yet to put in your stomach? Also, have you been able to get in touch with anyone that can some and be with you? We all want you to get feeling better sweetie. We are all pulling for you...

[stevef20]

Thank-you everyone.

 

Ive not been alone during the days as I've been working but the evenings I have been. I ended up calling the samaritans 4 times the other night, I was at such a loss. I ate again yesterday to and So as bad as I feel experience shows that this is progress. I'll go for a long walk today and try to stop crying a bit.

 

It's good to hear from you all, it really is, what a cracking bunch you all are. When I eventually get past this hell and want to meet someone again, I hope I meet someone like one of the amazing people on here.

 

Enjoy your Sunday everyone.