engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 So u wrote the book Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Ur words and logic r exactly the same as the writer, I will owe u alot if the technique worked and i got her back, and if not hopefully soon I will get my life back Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Which book are you talking about? The good thing about NC and sending her that message and cutting off all contact is that she will other come back to you FOR A RELATIONSHIP (and she WILL be clear about it, you will not have to lift a finger). Or you will be well on your way to healing and moving on from someone that has chosen not to be with you. See it as her loss, accept her decision and that you cnnot change her mind, and you will be on your way to taking control of your own life. Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 The link removed or something like that, I read the whole book in one day, I was freaking out so bad... I loved her madly, but I guess I can't keep her against will... I can't thank u enough btw, if I have any questions abt her actions I'll run straight to here, thanks again Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I haven't read that website or book. I just write from a place of common sense, and from my experiences. It's a funny thing. The way to get someone back is to get over them. But by the time that happens, you are so over them that you couldn't care whether they want you back! Did you delete her and her friends, and change your profile settings on facebook? Did you send that message? Or are you still thinking about it? Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 No I'm not thinking about it, I'll o it when I get on my computer, I'm on my phone now, I'll only keep two of her friends because they really mean a lot to me... U gotta read this book, it uses the exact same expressions Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Btw, me being the idiot I am yesterday replied to her text saying, y wouldn't I? U made ur decision and I respected it... That was yesterday. Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 What did she text you yesterday? By the way, it's NEVER too late to have an epiphany and to take control. Don't worry about what she thinks. At least now you can look to the future with this new approach. I'm a bit hesitant to go to that website since it's rated "red/danger" on the WOT scorecard. Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 I'll just say: I hope ur right drama llama, she sent me something strange last night, her text was like I just wanted to say hi and I hope u r having fun! I know u really don't wanna hear from me... What is this for gods sake? This is her text yesterday Link to comment
mark4 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 This is her text yesterday I think she is trying to get you to say ''ah no really I'm so glad to hear from you, i miss you blah blah blah etc etc..." you can either not reply or act is if "ah hello im not really bothered if I hear from your or not, yeah thanks doing well" that will do her head in haha ... be strong Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 I think she is trying to get you to say ''ah no really I'm so glad to hear from you, i miss you blah blah blah etc etc..." you can either not reply or act is if "ah hello im not really bothered if I hear from your or not, yeah thanks doing well" that will do her head in haha ... be strong I replied like the second response that day, my question is since I told her I'm not bothered by her text bla bla, wouldn't telling her I'm going in NC the very next day mean I'm playing games? Link to comment
mark4 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I replied like the second response that day, my question is since I told her I'm not bothered by her text bla bla, wouldn't telling her I'm going in NC the very next day mean I'm playing games? No it's not a game this is real life, you are being strong. You don't need to tell her you are going NC it's better if you just do it. Don't worry about wether or not you are playing games, just concentrate on being a stronger, self-sufficient, independent you and enjoy your life. Hope your okay. Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 I'm not ok really but thanks for everyone's help Link to comment
FloydPinkerton Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 It just takes time. That first week or so is brutal, no bones about it. But I can promise you that things well certainly get easier. It's the initial shock and disappointment of it all that really bruises the ego; it is extremely cliche, but time does heal all wounds. Also, the less that contact her, the less time it will take to move on. Trust me on that one. Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Ok my last move is I'm going to talk a mutual friend tonight and chat about this for a while, will delete her right after Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 Ok, I need some input on this email, I'm going to send it once I receive some feedback from u guys, Cathy, I'm writing u this to let u know I won't contact u anymore. I respect ur wish to move on and find relief from the hurt u r in, so I will go. Just want u to know that in case u consider to get things to work again (which I don't expect to be honest), u can contact me and we will discuss and see what's best. This won't be easy for me but I think is necessary, if things worked, I'll have a story to tell the kids, and if not we both will be able to move on...one last thing, IF u decided to reconsider things, we will probably have to start over, meaning we would date and get to know each other from the beginning and go from there...maybe go to the park or grandmas house again...who knows... Wish u all the happiness, Tim Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Can I rewrite it for you? Cathy, I'm writing to let you know I won't contact you anymore. I respect your wish to move on and I would like to move on also. Just want you to know that in case you consider reconciliation (which I don't expect, to be honest), you can contact me and we will discuss it and see what's best. This won't be easy for me but I think is necessary. Otherwise, if you do not wish to get back together I would appreciate if you gave me space. Wish you all the happiness, Tim Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 Drama, I wanted to throw in those memories to remind her of the good times And I think the sentence after otherwise is too rough, remember I wanna get her back 1, move on ith my life 2 Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Is it really "rough" or do you just not want to be assertive with her? She was able to stand up for herself and tell you that she didn't want to be with you. It's best if you stand up for yourself and say "if you don't want to be with me, that's fine, just don't contact me." I know it seems like you are being mean, but from a neutral observer you are not. You must treat her at arms length now, because SHE broke up with you. It is NOT a mean thing to ask someone for space if they don't want to be with you. And the grandma thing sounds like you're going on a tangent. I know you might think that you want to be "nice" but the fact is that women lose attraction to "nice" men. Stand up for yourself, put up boundaries and she MAY come back. But your best bet is to LET GO and realise that no matter what you do, it probably won't change how she feels. So your best bet is accept that it's over and get with your dignity now. Ultimately, you can send her whatever you like, as long as it helps you start NC. But she will get the message a lot clearer about what you are saying if you send what I wrote. It's up to you, though. Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 Even if I have a Feeling from her words that sh is thinking, she asked me today if I think this will work again now, I said maybe, u? Sh said I not think so, still hurting badly...wouldn't this email confirm to her that I'm the jerk she broke up with? Link to comment
dramallama Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 Why would you be a jerk if you sent that message? Link to comment
engineeros Posted March 23, 2011 Author Share Posted March 23, 2011 Because I'm asking her not To talk to me again, she just gave a hint that she's thinking but still too hurt. Link to comment
Oneironaut Posted March 23, 2011 Share Posted March 23, 2011 I say go ahead and write whatever you want. The fact is, most of us do that anyhow, despite whatever advice we receive on these forums. Frankly, if I'd done what everyone recommended I do with regard to my ex, I'd not be back together with him now, plain and simple. I understand your need to get confirmation from others that you're doing the "right" thing, but unless you're going to go total NC, you're pretty much not going to get that here, because that's what almost everyone will tell you to do. So, write whatever you want, and however it turns out is however it turns out. Best of luck to you. Link to comment
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