Too much oral sex!

[laboheme]

My boyfriend wants me to go down on him multiple times a day, and he's very demanding when it comes to asking for it -- not in a mean way, just in a very blunt way. Oftentimes we're not even doing anything remotely sexual, and he'll just come out and ask.

 

I enjoy pleasuring him, I really do! But too much is too much. I'm starting to feel like it's a chore, and it's hard for me physically (mostly on my knees and neck...and on the inside of my lips where I wrap them around my teeth to avoid hurting his member).

I'm not trying to make blow jobs a "special occasion" kind of thing where I only give them on birthdays or anniversaries...I just want to scale back a little bit. Also, it'd be nice to do it on my own terms sometimes, i.e., give him a blow job because that's what I feel like doing at that moment...but he always asks for it before I can show my own initiative. And you know how when you're ordered to do something, you don't want to do it even if you might have wanted to do it otherwise?

 

Please don't get the wrong impression when I say that he's demanding. Aside from this particular issue, he's always very sweet, both in bed and out. In fact, he's always more than willing and eager to return the favor. Too bad that I don't enjoy being on the receiving end at all (in general; not just with him)!!! And it seems silly to "trade" blow jobs for nonsexual things that I might enjoy.

 

Anyone else ever been in that situation?

[Ariel85]

That would completely turn me off. I am EXTREMELY sexually giving. I've never had to have a man ask for me to do anything sexual, so if I had a BF would was suddenly subtlely demanding a BJ, I'd feel like his personal hooker.

 

I would tell him you'd appreciate him waiting for YOU to take the initiative and provide a BJ when YOU feel like it, otherwise, he's making you turned off to the whole act.

[mistawolf]

Have a talk just tell him your getting worn out, you need a break from this set some limit's a bit if you must. Theres allways your hands and other items you can try, Iv never asked for anything shes always willing, (shes also not into receiving as much as giving) but this could lead to an abusive relationship mainly like ariel said "his personal hooker".

[laboheme]

Yeah, "his personal hooker" is a good way to describe it. But how do I tell him that his blunt requests are turning me off and that I can't do it multiple times a day without hurting his masculine ego?

[RedDress]

But how do I tell him that his blunt requests are turning me off and that I can't do it multiple times a day without hurting his masculine ego?

 

Just say "No!".

 

Sorry... I am also very giving and men rarely have to ask me to do this (I do it because I like it)... but multiple times a day? That's a lot. I don't think you are being unreasonable. He is. I really think you just have to start saying "no" and explain why - that it's tiring, your neck starts to hurt, etc. He should not make you feel bad for your not wanting to do this ALL the time at the drop of a hat. That's called a slave - not a lover.

[dramallama]

Say to him "every time you ask or hint for one, I am suddenly going to be too busy to give you one at all that day!" or ask him to go down on you for 4 times each day and see if HE has the spare time or energy.

[PaintWithLight]

Multiple times per day? Is he finishing each time or is he just enjoying the visual and sensation of you "servicing him". I agree with Ariel that there is something very unappealing about his suddenly dropping this demand on you. It sounds more like a control and power thing than just pure sexual pleasure.

[FathomFear]

Yeah, "his personal hooker" is a good way to describe it. But how do I tell him that his blunt requests are turning me off and that I can't do it multiple times a day without hurting his masculine ego?

 

Side question. Why would saying "No" hurt his ego?

 

I don't see this as a complicated situation, IMO. I think you just need to be clear that you love him and are turned on by him, but you're on a different wavelength in regards to how frequently you want sex to occur.

[gallop30]

instead of telling him ,just do it in a robotic way with a boring face(kinda,ok let's just get over it already),you'll see how fast that'll turn him off.

if he asks you why,you just tell him that it's not pleasurable for you and it's boring.

guys don't want to hear the word boring when it's sex related.

 

wunderbar

[Samedy]

Just say no...

[laboheme]

Multiple times per day? Is he finishing each time or is he just enjoying the visual and sensation of you "servicing him". I agree with Ariel that there is something very unappealing about his suddenly dropping this demand on you. It sounds more like a control and power thing than just pure sexual pleasure.

 

He does finish each time. On occasion, the blow job serves as a prelude to sex, but the vast majority of the time, it's not foreplay but the featured act.

 

Side question. Why would saying "No" hurt his ego?

 

I don't see this as a complicated situation, IMO. I think you just need to be clear that you love him and are turned on by him, but you're on a different wavelength in regards to how frequently you want sex to occur.

 

If I say "no," won't he think that I'm basically rejecting him as a lover? Aside from the blow job thing, our sex drives (both frequency and adventurousness) are pretty evenly matched right now. I'm wondering...if he gets less blow jobs, will he want more of something else? Possibly more than what I'm willing to give? As things stand, he never asks for regular sex or other things; although we are intimate very frequently, it always happens naturally, organically (yes, certain suggestive questions are sometimes asked as part of the seduction game and foreplay, but not at all in the way he asks for blow jobs).

 

Say to him "every time you ask or hint for one, I am suddenly going to be too busy to give you one at all that day!" or ask him to go down on you for 4 times each day and see if HE has the spare time or energy.

 

Well, that's the thing! I think that might be an effective way of dealing with it by giving him a taste of his own medicine, so to speak, and believe me, he has offered to pleasure me in return for my services. But as I said, I do NOT like being on the receiving end one bit, and if I ask him to go down on me 4 times each day, I'll enjoy that even less than going down on him 4 times each day!

[Samedy]

He does finish each time. On occasion, the blow job serves as a prelude to sex, but the vast majority of the time, it's not foreplay but the featured act.

If I say "no," won't he think that I'm basically rejecting him as a lover?

 

Is he not rejecting you as a lover by just having you give him blowjobs? It sounds like their is no reciprocation (emotionally or physically); in which case how are you different than a vacuum cleaner? - I am not saying that is what I think you are, but from the sounds of it you are just a means to an ends right now...

[MakeItCount]

instead of telling him ,just do it in a robotic way with a boring face(kinda,ok let's just get over it already),you'll see how fast that'll turn him off.

if he asks you why,you just tell him that it's not pleasurable for you and it's boring.

guys don't want to hear the word boring when it's sex related.

 

wunderbar

 

I agree, boring is like a death sentence to me haha.

 

LOL@vaccuum. I agree, just say no.

[leo75]

As a chick I have to ask several questions.. Firstly I DO understand that after a while any task (no matter how much you loved it before) gets eh if 'forced' upon you. Secondly, the fact you keep doing it is what is driving him (unfortunately)

 

(Have you guys ever explored D/s type of talk? Does he have MaleDom fantasies?)

 

Lastly, and this is purely curiosity... the idea of having oral done to ME multiple times in the day gets me all excited.. Have you ever enjoyed receiving or is it just the sheer frequency of it??

 

 

( I asked since I used to not love it at all, I felt SOO self conscience about it, but then I found the right guy to do it & I would LOVE to be on the receiving end multiple times a day!!)